Love in Dispute
by KBKB
Summary: SLASH - RyanSeth - Cheesysappy little story - Characters not mine, belongs to FOX. Finally finished... sorry it took me so long to remember to post the last chapter, it's been done for months!
1. Part 1

Love In Dispute  
  
Seth watched from a convenient balcony on the 3rd floor of his house as Marisa ran towards her front door and Ryan turned away. His gaze followed as the handsome blond boy walked through their backyard, past the hot tub, into the pool house. He didn't hear what had been said, but the way Marisa reacted and the defeated trudge to Ryan's walk told him it hadn't gone well. Seth knew that Marisa had walked in on Ryan and Gabrielle, knew that Marisa had left in a rush with captain beefcake, aka Luke, and knew Ryan had been upset over it all. He could only assume Ryan had gone over to the Cooper's house to try and smooth it all over with Marisa, but whatever he said didn't seem to work.  
  
Seth figure he might as well go down and see if Ryan was alright. He made his way through the house quietly, not wanting to disturb his parents, out through the back veranda, and past the pool. Reaching the small house in the back, he let himself in, not bothering to knock.  
  
Ryan was sitting on the edge of the bed, in navy blue boxers and his trade mark white wife beater. His elbows were on his knees and his face was in his hands, he had a beaten look to him.   
  
Seth walked over and sat down next to him on the bed. Ryan's head whipped up when he first felt the bed sag next to him. His first look was one of panic when he brought his head from his hands, then helpful as he turned, but when his eyes settled on Seth, he just looked disappointed and sad, his eyes glassy and lost. "Go away Seth." He mumbled gruffly, returning his head to his hands.  
  
"Nah." Seth answered. "I like it here."  
  
"I want to be alone." Came much muffled from Ryan's hands.  
  
"Yeah, well I want Summer to proclaim her undying love to me in front of the varsity club, but we all want things we are never going to get." Seth responded.  
  
Ryan let out a choked little noise; that Seth recognized but couldn't place.  
  
Seth looked at Ryan worriedly. "Dude, what did she do to you?"  
  
Seth watched Ryan stiffen. "Leave Seth." The words were so gruff, so strained; Seth wasn't sure how Ryan had gotten them out of his mouth.  
  
"She chose Luke, didn't she?" Seth treaded carefully, hoping Ryan wouldn't take offense to how sympathetic his voice seemed to sound.  
  
Ryan made another choking noise. "Seth…" But whatever else was part of that gruff plead, never made it out. He pulled one leg up on the bed and turned so he was facing the head of the bed. Removing his hands from his face, he pulled a tissue out of the box on the side table. He blew his nose and cleared his throat loudly.  
  
"Ryan…" Seth tried to maneuver around to look at Ryan's face. "Are you crying?"  
  
Ryan's shoulder's slumped then and Seth heard that choking noise for a 3rd time and it clicked. Ryan wasn't crying.  
  
And he was fighting like hell to keep it that way.  
  
Seth didn't know what he should do. He could do as Ryan asked and leave him alone, but who really wanted to be alone when they were feeling so rotten? Well, that might just be him… Ryan might be different. He wondered if he should go get his Dad or Mom, maybe they could find out what was wrong. Maybe this wasn't about Marisa, maybe it was about his mom, or his brother. Maybe he was sick or…  
  
"This is about Marisa right? You're not sick or hurt or something? Should I get mom or dad?" Seth asked nervously.  
  
"No! No!" Ryan croaked. "I…I… I don't want to bother them with this. They already do so much for me. I don't want them to know…"  
  
"Know about what?"  
  
"This…" He gestured to himself. "They've given me everything. I don't want them to think I'm miserable."  
  
"Are you miserable?"  
  
Ryan finally turned to look at Seth then, a bit of an angry look overcoming the sadness. "What do you think?!? Look at me! My mother abandoned me! My father and brother are in jail! I've been reduced to a freaking charity case! Poor little chino boy living amongst the rich and the fabulous! Everyone here thinks I'm trash! You're my only friend! I get in more fights then a professional boxer! The only other friend I make comes to a party and shoots Luke!" He trailed off his rage. "Luke… and Marisa. Marisa, the one other person in this whole stinking place who was ever good to me… and she chooses Luke. She said I'm too late." And one of the tears he had been fighting so valiantly slipped down his cheek.  
  
"Shit." Seth muttered, as he watched Ryan. "Oh shit."  
  
"Just go away Seth." Ryan sounded downright pathetic. "Just go away and let me make a complete wuss of myself in private."  
  
Seth wasn't leaving him, not like this. But he couldn't think of what to do. Telling him it was all going to be 'okay' would sound patronizing. Damn… he had no clue. If his mother was here, she would give Ryan a big hug, holding him for a while, talking everything through, just like she did for her real son. At least Seth figured she would do that for Ryan as well. But she wasn't here. There was only himself. Could he give Ryan a hug, hold him, get him to talk everything through? Didn't friend do that for their friends? Did guys do that for other guys? But Seth couldn't think of anything else to do. So he would have to. His mom would probably be the best person. But Ryan would probably never forgive him if he went and got her, telling her what was going on. So it would have to be him.  
  
Ryan was staring up at the ceiling, trying to keep any other drops from falling, losing his patience in waiting for Seth to leave. But Seth wasn't leaving; he was inching towards him, looking clumsy and unsure of himself. "Seth…" He pleased, lowering his head and giving the dark haired boy a confused look.  
  
But Seth didn't answer; instead he stopped moving once they were leg to leg, and reached his arms out towards Ryan. He wrapped them around the boy and tried to pull him close. Ryan went rigid and tried to pull away, but Seth held on. "Seth… what the fuck are you doing?!?"  
  
Seth was stronger than he looked and taller than Ryan, so he was able to keep hold of the struggling blonde. "Just shut up and let me, okay?"  
  
Ryan did stop struggling, just going limp in Seth's arms. "I just don't see the point."  
  
"You don't have to see the point, just relax."  
  
"Have you been listening to me? Do you really expect me to be able to relax?" Ryan was speaking over Seth's shoulder. He gave a shiver as Seth ran one of his hands down his back and had to bite his bottom lip to keep it from quivering.  
  
"I was listening and you've been carrying around a lot of shit. I don't imagine you've been able to relax at all since you've been here. No wonder you're so freaking worked up. Just try to relax, okay? Otherwise you'll probably explode." Seth continued to rub his hand up and down Ryan's back, just like his mother always did to him. His hand ran over tight muscles and strong bones. Ryan had a nice back, he mused for a moment, the kind he wished he had.  
  
"You sound like a freaking shrink. Been reading your high school psychology book a little too closely, heh?" Ryan whispered; a touch of angry sarcasm in his voice. "This is starting to hurt my back, can you let go now?"  
  
"Are you feeling better?"  
  
Ryan was about to lie and tell Seth yes. But he knew what Seth was trying to do and how it was just as awkward for him. He would admit it; it took a lot of guts for Seth to do what he was doing. "No… not really."  
  
"Then no, I can't let go. But I guess we can shift, so it's more comfortable though." Seth answered, pulling away a little and adjusting his position.  
  
"No not like…"  
  
"Turn here…"   
  
"That hurt worse…"  
  
"Sit like that…"  
  
"That's better… I guess…"  
  
"Yeah that works."  
  
The two boys arranged themselves so that Seth was sitting up straight with his back against the head of the bed. Ryan was sitting between Seth's legs, resting his one side against Seth's chest and trying hard not to rest his head on Seth's shoulder; where it could fall right now so comfortably. Seth's arms were back around him and he was once again rubbing his back. He finally gave in to temptation and rested his head. He found the shoulder surprisingly comfortable, more muscle than he expected, and not as bony. He went back to biting his lip, because being comfortable and relaxing seem to signal to his body that it was alright to break down.  
  
And it wasn't.  
  
"Ryan…" Seth started slowly; he was going to give this talking things through a chance. "You know your mom thought she was doing what was best for you. She figures you could be getting an opportunity here that you couldn't get in Chino. Money isn't everything, but it does mean better schools, safer neighborhoods, and more opportunities."   
  
"It also means rich snobs who look down there plastic surgically altered noses at me." Ryan muttered; thinking of how people called him 'Chino' instead of Ryan and warned Seth's parents about adopting such riff raff. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly. He couldn't remember the last time other people's opinions mattered so much to him. It was just…  
  
Mr. and Mrs. Cohen were trying so hard for him, putting so much faith in him and him making a life in this world. He had never had anyone do that for him before. He liked them very much and Seth too and… and… Well he didn't want to leave. He wanted it to work out here.  
  
"That's going to take some time Ryan." Seth said softly; giving the shoulder that wasn't pressed against him a small squeeze. "The people around here are just going to have to get used to you. You've had kind of a rough start. The fights, the fire, the shooting. None of which was really your fault, actually if you think back on it, most of it was mine. But once you've been here a little longer, you'll see people will get to know you and start treating you like a human being. Like Luke did tonight, you two finally seemed to be able to have a conversation without coming to blows."  
  
"Yeah, because I'm not a threat anymore. Marisa chose him." Ryan was choking on his words once more and was suddenly furious with himself when he felt a group of tears make their escape. As his face was mostly in Seth's shoulder; they were soaking into the boy's shirt and Ryan was now extremely embarrassed. He immediately tried to pull away.  
  
Ryan could feel the dampness on his shirt and felt so bad for Ryan. He continued to hold on, not letting him break away. He was going to sound like the world's biggest hypocrite for saying what he was about to say, because he never believed in it himself, but for once, it sounded like the right thing to do. "Why don't you just let it out? You're going to hurt yourself forcing so hard to hold that in when it's fighting just as hard to get out."  
  
Ryan couldn't answer. Nothing in his life was going the way he wanted it to. He was seconds from disgracing himself and he wanted to do it in private. It was all so frustrating. And being frustrated was not helping him right now. It just made the tears push even more stingingly at his eyelids. He wasn't going to let it all out; bawling like an infant would not make anything in his life better; it would just make him look more like a loser.   
  
But it was no use; Ryan couldn't keep them back anymore. They went traveling from his eyes at due speed and he was unable to stop them.  
  
Seth really had Ryan held tight now. They were pressed close and it was warm, despite the air conditioning going full blast in the pool house. Seth was rubbing Ryan's back in what he hoped was a soothing pattern. "You have me and mom and dad on your side Ry… and even if Marisa did choose Luke, just wait until she's over the shock of seeing you with Gabrielle, you two will be friends again. She really likes you, so even if she is going to keep dating Luke, she's still going to want to see you and hang out. Maybe she only made her decision because of what she saw. Maybe tomorrow she will wake up and come begging your forgiveness." Seth's shirt where Ryan's head lay was now way past just damp and was in all truth getting quite wet. The blonde boy wasn't making any noise, but Seth could see the tears coursing swiftly down his cheek when he looked at Ryan. At least he was letting some of the build up out. "Mom and Dad are behind you Ry; they'll take care of you. They won't ever abandon you. And no matter what, you'll always have me as a friend. I don't know if that means enough, or anything at all, but you do have the 3 of us here."  
  
Ryan still wasn't talking or making any other noises as he cried. But instead of holding his arms in his lap, he had wrapped them loosely around Seth's waist and was almost hugging him back. Seth took that as a positive. "Tomorrow things will look better. You can talk to Marisa, maybe talk to mom and dad about this. You know… you know you can talk to them about anything, if you want to. They want to help. They want you to be happy and healthy and well adjusted and all that junk, so let them."  
  
Ryan nodded against Seth, his face rubbing against the saturated shirt. All that sounded pretty okay… for tomorrow. But right now… right now he was getting a little tired. He yawned and unattached one of his arms from Seth; swiping at his soaked face. The tears were slowing to a near stop now. He took a deep, steadying breath. He did feel better. A tiny bit ashamed of his behavior, but better. A little less stressed, a little lighter, and strangely a lot safer. And definitely not so alone. "Thanks Seth." He said softly, looking up at Seth as he ran his hand over the wet spot. "Sorry about your shirt."  
  
Ryan did sound better, but he looked like hell, blood shot eyes, blotchy drenched face. "It's no problem, any time." Seth said smiling down at him. Ryan returned a small smile, as he wiped his face up some more. Seth grabbed a tissue off of the nightstand and handed it to Ryan.  
  
Seth looked down at the boy in his arms and realized he'd never held anyone before. This was kind of the way he had always dreamed of holding Summer. Of course holding Summer would be much different. It would be a delicate small frame against his chest instead of this strong muscular one. And he doubted Summer would be this warm. But it still would be nice; her tight little bottom pressed up against his crotch like Ryan's tight ass and hip was now. He'd probably be able to tilt his head just so and could kiss like that, comfortably for hours. If it was Summer in his lap, of course, not Ryan. If it was Summer he'd be getting a little tight in the jeans.   
  
But it wasn't, it was Ryan, so he shouldn't be…  
  
He couldn't be!  
  
But he was.  
  
Panicked, Seth tried to shift his hips further away from Ryan, but he was already against the head of the bed, so there wasn't anywhere for him to go. But if he stayed like this, Ryan would know… Ryan would feel.  
  
Ryan did feel. In the last few minutes something had started growing hard and hot against his right hip. He wondered what was going through Seth's mind to cause this reaction, because it couldn't just be because they were sitting this close. Seth, Seth was straight. He was in love with Summer; obsessed. He wasn't gay, was he? Or… Ryan knew Seth was a virgin, maybe Seth didn't know what Seth wanted yet. The idea intrigued Ryan.  
  
Ryan yawned and stretched; pulling away from Seth. "I'm tired, how about you?"  
  
As soon as Ryan was out from between his legs, Seth snapped them together, dropping his hands down over the very apparent bulge in his pants. "Yeah, a bit. Maybe I better get back to the house and all. I mean if your okay, if not I can stay a bit longer."  
  
Ryan turned his blood shot eyes towards Seth's slightly panicked ones. "You could stay tonight... I mean, if you wanted to." He swallowed his pride, half because he was still feeling a little shaken and oddly needy, something he couldn't remember ever feeling before. And half because he was interested in seeing what had Seth so 'Happy'.  
  
Now, suddenly Ryan didn't want Ryan to be alone and Seth wanted Seth out of there.  
  
"Are you sure? I mean you've had a rough night, you're tired. Don't you want to get some sleep?" Seth was searching.  
  
"I can sleep with you here. Come on, we'll have a sleep over. I've already cried all over you about lost love, now we can paint each other's nails and curl our hair. Not that yours needs it." Ryan joked, amazing even himself that he could poke fun at what had him mortified just a short while ago.  
  
"Damn, but I forgot my nighty." Seth tried to use his usual sarcasm. "Guess I can't." What was up with Ryan? Minutes ago the quiet boy had been miserable, crying on his shoulder. Now he was joking around? That was something that on average was out of character, but to be doing it right now...   
  
"Just sleep in your underwear, I'm going to."  
  
Seth had to admit defeat. Ryan obviously didn't want him to leave. He must still feel bad. How was he going to get rid of his problem though?   
  
Bathroom.  
  
Seth would just excuse himself to the bathroom. A quick little choke of the chicken and he'd be fine. "Yeah, alright, if you want me too. I'm just gonna run to the bathroom and get ready for bed."  
  
Ryan watched as Seth jumped off of the bed and darted towards the bathroom, trying to keep his little problem hidden by his hand. Not that it looked all that little. Ryan was impressed to see that it was quite a large bulge. Ryan sat there wondering for a moment if Seth was larger than he was. He could always just go and take a look. He gave Seth a full 60 seconds alone in the bathroom before he walked in too.  
  
"Whoa!" Seth shouted, stuffing himself back in his jeans. "I'm in here! Did you forget already? Talk about poor short term memory!"  
  
Ryan gave a short laugh. "Dude, I gave ya a minute, how long does it take you to piss?"  
  
Taking a piss wasn't the problem. Well it would have been if Seth had had to with that hard on, but pissing wasn't the issue. Seth had been trying to relieve another kind of pressure. "Still shoulda knocked." He muttered.  
  
Ryan had gotten a look at what Seth had been stroking before he had stuffed it back in his pants. It did look a bit bigger than his own. Which made it a very healthy size. It seemed Seth was always full of surprises.  
  
Seth washed his hands and quickly fled from the room. Ryan yelled after him. "Wanna sleep on the bed or the couch?"  
  
"Doesn't matter." He yelled back. "Whichever you want me on." Seth bit his tongue... 'Want him on?' Why did that sounds so... so...  
  
"The bed." Ryan answered.  
  
"Thanks." Seth answered genuinely. That was nice of Ryan to give up his bed. He slipped off his jeans and wet tee-shirt and got under the covers. Thankful for anything that could hide his hard on better. Once Ryan had fallen asleep, Seth would just go back in the bathroom and get rid of it.  
  
Ryan came back out of the bathroom in just his boxers and came over to the bed. He pulled back the covers on the side he was standing on. "Budge over; you're taking up the whole thing."  
  
Ryan was not giving up his bed, he was merely sharing it. Seth should go sleep on the couch. But in just thin white boxers, if he got out from underneath the covers now, there would be no hiding it. So he just moved to the opposite side and laid on his stomach.  
  
Ryan got in and laid on his side facing Seth. "I just wanted to say thanks again Seth." He said softly.  
  
A muffled answer came from Seth.  
  
"What was that? I could hear you. Why are you burying your head in your pillow? Didn't your mother ever teach you too look at someone while they're talking to you? Where are your manners?" Ryan joked.  
  
Seth turned just his head towards Ryan, a painful task. "I said; don't mention it, what are friends for?"  
  
"Well, for that. And there also good for telling you when you are acting like a freak. What are you doing?" Ryan was staring at Seth, pretending he had no idea what was going on.  
  
"I always sleep on my stomach." Seth said with a pained voice.  
  
"Odd, the few times you've fallen asleep out here on the couch, you've slept on your side, usually your right."  
  
"That's when I sleep on a couch, bed's different."  
  
"Ohhh..."  
  
But the position was not comfortable and Seth was forced to turn over, he was about to face away from Ryan, but then Ryan began to talk to him again and Seth knew he would have to go through that whole thing again. "What did you say?" He asked, finally turning towards Ryan.  
  
"I said, 'So what caused it?'" Ryan repeated.  
  
"What cause what?" Seth asked, bewildered.  
  
"This." Ryan said, reaching out and grabbing Seth's boxer clothed dick and giving it a few strokes.  
  
Seth almost jumped out of his skin. It had been the first time in his life that someone besides himself had ever touched his cock in a sexual way and it had been Ryan! "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Asking you a question, are you going to answer me?" Ryan still hadn't removed his hand from Seth's crotch. "I won't let go until you tell me."  
  
Part of Seth's brain told him not to speak then. "I was thinking about Summer."  
  
"Summer, huh?" He still hadn't let go, was still giving strokes through the thin white material. "What were you thinking about Summer?"  
  
Seth's eyes were threatening to roll back in his head. "Dude, this is gay." He drew in a sharp breath as Ryan flicked his thumb over the head of his penis. "You totally need to stop that."  
  
"Come on Seth... just tell me what kind of little fantasy you were having about Summer, and I'll stop."  
  
Seth knew he better tell, because if he didn't, he was likely going to do something completely wrong, like cum in Ryan's hand. "I... I was just looking at the way I was holding you and wondering what it would be like to hold Summer against me like that. And..." He had to pause as a low groan he couldn't hold back escaped. "And I was thinking how easy it would have been to just lean down and kiss you." Seth's eyes were definitely rolled back in his head now.  
  
"Kiss me?" Ryan asked, surprised.  
  
Seth's eyes snapped back into focus and shot open. "No! No! Kiss Summer! I mean kiss Summer! Dammit Ryan! Stop doing that! I'm not a fucking fag!" And he finally gathered his wits enough to slap Ryan's hand off him and scramble away from the bed. "I thought you were straight! I thought you were in love with Marisa! Why the hell were you touching me like that?!?"  
  
Ryan looked slightly nervous. He knew Seth wasn't completely repulsed by what he was doing, because he would have pushed away at the first touch and not minutes into it, when he was rock hard and pulsing in his hand. Something had scared Seth off; it must have gotten too good.  "I really do like Marisa. It just looked like you needed some help. And well, you helped me earlier, so I thought I'd return the favor."  
  
"Return the favor?!?" Seth looked vastly amusing standing there in a rage, his white boxers majorly tented. "I gave you a shoulder to cry on, so you decided to give me a hand job?!?"  
  
Ryan gave a small grimace at the 'shoulder to cry' on remark, but shook it off. "Yeah, unless you would have preferred a blowjob."   
  
Seth's jaw dropped so far it looked cartoonish. "What is your freaking malfunction Ryan?!? A guy does not just offer another guy sexual favor as a thank you!"  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Why not?!?" Seth threw his arms up in the air in exasperation. "Because that's fucking queer! That's why not!" But then Seth paused. "You aren't...you aren't gay, are you?"  
  
"Would it be a problem if I was?" Ryan was lying on his side, elbow on his pillow, hand propping up his head. It really was a breathtaking sight.  
  
"Hell yes!" Seth yelled. But then he actually paused, thinking about Ryan and what a good friend he was becoming, the best he'd ever had really. He visibly calmed a bit. "Fuck, I didn't mean that. No, no it wouldn't be a problem, of course it wouldn't be. But Ryan, why did you never tell me you were gay? And if you are, what's all this stuff with Marissa? And Gabrielle... well it would explain why you didn't let her go all the way."   
  
"Marissa walked in! Otherwise I would have..." Ryan stopped defending himself. "Never mind, that's not important now. But I'm not gay. I wanted that lady last night and I've been interested in Marisa since I met her. I've just done some experimenting in life. But I guess, maybe, I might be bi. I've never really given it extensive thought."  
  
'Experimenting... might be bi...' Seth's mind was in overdrive. "Do you mean, have you... you've done this before? With other guys?"  
  
Ryan nodded. "A few, not as many guys as girls." He gave a proud little smirk. "But enough to know what I'm doing."  
  
Seth sat down on the bed hard. "This is going to take a while for my brain to absorb. You've been with... you've been with... But you don't put that part of you across to anyone. You've got the whole tough guy loner thing going for you, which usually isn't the norm for someone who makes out with other guys."  
  
"Heh, you oughta see Juvee at night then. That would change your stereotype"  
  
Seth's eyes, if possible, went even larger. "Holy shit, is that, is that where you first..."  
  
"Nah." Ryan said, his eyes studying Seth. "Actually my first time was with one of my brother's friends when I was younger. He was drunk and he stumbled into my room... He started kissing me and touching me, then he made me give him a blow job." The last part was said with a little less confidence.  
  
"He forced you? You don't mean he rap..."  
  
Ryan didn't let Seth finish that sentence. "No! No... nothing like that. I just wasn't all that interested in the drunken older guy grabbing at me. But I did know I was interested in the stuff he was doing and wanted to do. I had been for a while and that had been my chance to try it out for the 1st time. And then after that, I had this friend from school, who was just like me. We used to get high and fool around. We kept it real quiet though. He didn't want his girlfriend to know and I didn't want anyone else knowing either. He moved like 2 months before I came here. Juvee though, the few nights I spent in juvee, I got more action that I could have ever expected."  
  
"When you were busted for the car or for the house?" Seth asked.  
  
"Both. Though the first time wasn't as bad as the second. The guys the second time were a little rough." Ryan grimaced remembering it.  
  
"Rough?" A puzzled look spread over Ryan's face. "What did they do to you?'  
  
"Oh." Ryan wasn't sure he should tell Seth exactly what they had done. "Well, they... well you know..."  
  
Realization dawned on Seth's face. "They fucked you?" He sounded pained and disgusted.  
  
Ryan kind of shrugged. "Yeah, I mean it wasn't all pretty and romantic and it sure wasn't about love, so I guess you could say I was fucked."  
  
It was definitely a disgusted look on Seth's face now. "You let them stick... You let them put... You... Damn!"  
  
Ryan frowned at Seth. "It wasn't so bad. It was either let them and have them be a little rough with you or try and tell them no and have them be really rough with you. There are worse things."  
  
Seth didn't appear to agree. "I can't think of anything worse than having some guy try to stick his dick up my ass."  
  
Ryan gave another shrug. "Don't knock it til you've tried it. It can feel really fucking good."  
  
Seth was beginning to think Ryan was a little insane. But he supposed living the life Ryan had could do that to you. But then a different kind of thought popped in his head. One that didn't disgust him as much. And the question tumbled out of his mouth before he really had finished processing it. "Have you ever been on the other end? You've been fucked, have you ever been the one doing the fucking?"  
  
"Yeah, a couple of times, mostly with that kid back home, but one time, in juvee, a guy had me fuck him. That can feel really fucking good too."  
  
"What do you like bette..."  
  
"Being fucked or doing the fucking? Hmmm... hard question. They both get you off in the end." Ryan pondered.  
  
"No! No... you didn't let me finish. I was going to ask whether you like guys or girls better." Seth explained. The fact that Ryan thought being fucked was as good as doing the fucking, unnerved him a bit.  
  
"Shit... I don't know. It's different, you know?"  
  
"No, actually I have no clue."  
  
"Ohh... well yeah. Let's put it this way. I've never wanted to date a guy. Never met one I want to hold hands with or go one dates or anything like that. All romance and love and shit had always been directed towards girls, you know?" That was a small lie. The guy from back home, his name had been Brian. He could have, would have dated him. If it had been at all feasible.  
  
Seth gave a small nod.  
  
"But there's time when you just got to get off. All you want is a good orgasm and you don't want to use your hand. You want a warm body, but you don't want to have to put up all the extra shit it takes to get a chick in bed. That's when it's great to have a guy. Someone you have a deal with. Someone who follows the rules of no kissing, no romance. Sex when you need it with no attachment. Does it make sense?" Ryan finished his explanation.  
  
Seth nodded. "Yeah, get a nice little fuck friend or just end up in jail. Plenty of action either way. Do you realize how stereotypical it is that you got fucked while in prison?"  
  
"I was not in jail." Ryan said very gruffly. "It was juvee. There's a big difference."  
  
Seth felt bad. "Dude, sorry, didn't mean it meanly."  
  
Ryan still looked angry but he just shrugged.  
  
Seth decided to change the subject. "You know, you could always find a female fuck friend. Lot's of people do it. Hell, Holly's known for it. Or at least, so I've heard. Hell, have you ever heard of just hooking up for the night? Damn Ryan, be like everyone else in this fucking place and just be a player."  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes. "I do that sometimes too. But even then, you still have to go through all of the bull shit to get a girl in bed. Trust me, what I do is easier."  
  
Seth suddenly looked nervous again. "Do you have someone here? I mean, did you make one of those deals since you've been in Newport?"  
  
Ryan laughed very deeply. "Hell no. I don't think I will either. People here already think I'm trash, all I need is for a rumor to get out that I'm gay along with a juvenile delinquent and from Chino and we'll all be sorry. No... I'll stick with my hand and any girls I'm lucky enough to lure back here. Due to the way you reacted, I don't have to guess that this area isn't the most homofriendly group."  
  
"We just haven't had any exposure to it, that's all." Seth explained.  
  
"Yeah, well I won't be the one doing the exposure." Ryan said, sarcastically.  
  
Seth had another thought. "Just another thing in your life you'll have to change now that you're here. That kinda sucks, I guess."  
  
"Nah... I can live with that. If I end up getting some somehow, cool, but if not, I'll live." Ryan had another smirk on his face. "Why, you feeling bad  
  
for me again, thinking of giving it up to me?"  
  
Seth actually thought about it for a moment. Could he? Could he fool around with Ryan?   
  
No!  
  
No he could not!   
  
He was straight!  
  
He was in love with Summer! He was waiting for her. He was saving himself for her!  
  
But no... that wasn't really true. He wasn't waiting, he wasn't saving himself because he wanted to. But because he was forced to. Like any girl out there would have sex with him with his reputation. No, even the least popular girls wouldn't come near him.  
  
This would finally be a chance to experience something other than masturbation. But could he go through with it? Could his libido overcome his socially taught homophobia? He was straight, wasn't he?  
  
Well, if he was, he shouldn't even be considering this. Not even for a friend as good as Ryan. Not even for someone who looked like Ryan did at this moment, naked except for his boxers, sprawled so casually on his bed. Ryan looked pretty fucking good.   
  
Seth felt his cock twitch and noticed just then that his straining erection hadn't gone down in the least bit.  
  
Ryan stared good naturally at Seth and watched as the boy seemingly struggled with his thoughts. "Hey Seth, I was just kidding."  
  
Seth looked down at Ryan. He was very good looking. But Seth wasn't sure if he actually found his attractive, or just knew what constituted attractiveness. "But were you really? I mean, I know you didn't expect me to say yes. But what if I did, would you actually go through with it?"  
  
Ryan looked at Seth oddly. "You did notice me stroking your dick, didn't you?"  
  
Seth flushed slightly but bravely trudged on. "Trust me, I noticed. But say tonight hadn't happened. I hadn't come in to find you upset, hadn't held you, hadn't gotten har...lost in thought. Say we were just playing video games and the sight of Lara Croft shooting bad guys got you in the mood. Would you think of me then? Would you ask me then?"  
  
"Are you trying to find out if I find you attractive?" Ryan was smirking once again. "Because Seth, I'm not looking for a playboy, just someone to get off with. So don't expect me to stroked your ego by telling you how sexy I find you, cause it ain't gonna happen."  
  
Seth wasn't sure if his feeling were hurt or not.  
  
"But, if you were to say yes, tonight, tomorrow, a month from now while we're playing Tomb Raider, then yes, I would go through with it." Ryan sounded so sincere; it was different from his usual fuck the world tone. Seth was definitely seeing a whole new side to Ryan tonight.  
  
"You know, this is the most I have ever heard you talk." Seth admitted.  
  
Ryan laughed. "I know I'm usually not much of a talker. But you did tell me to let it all out." And he winked.  
  
And they both laughed.  
  
Seth was thinking double time now. It was just Ryan. Ryan wasn't going to tell anyone. Ryan wouldn't laugh when he wasn't completely sure what he was  
  
doing. And most importantly, Ryan would stop if he asked. Ryan wouldn't make him do anything he didn't want to. "Yes."  
  
Ryan looked at Seth questioningly. "Yes? Yes what?"  
  
"Yes. Yes yes." Seth pleading with his eyes for Ryan to understand, so he wouldn't have to say it.  
  
Ryan looked shocked. "Oh! Shit! You sure?"  
  
Seth nodded yes.  
  
"I thought you were straight. I thought that stuff was gay." Ryan wasn't laying a finger on Seth until he was sure.  
  
Seth imitated Ryan's shrug. "I guess I'm just willing to do a little experimenting."  
  
Ryan smiled as his own words were used back on him. "Damn, will you come here then? The site of you with that hard on for so long is giving me blue balls."  
  
Seth crept hesitantly towards Ryan. "You'll go slow though, right? I mean, if I ask you to stop, you will?"  
  
"Shh... don't worry. You won't want me to stop." Ryan was moving towards Seth as well so that they would meet in the middle of the bed.  
  
Seth paused. "But what if I do want you to?"  
  
Ryan reached Seth and wrapped an arm around his waist. "Then I'll stop."  
  
Seth gasped when Ryan pulled him in, so that they were kneeling face to face, and his erection pressed into Ryan's hard thigh. "I'm a virgin!" He squeaked without an ounce of masculinity.  
  
Ryan burst out laughing, let go of Seth, and fell back onto his butt on the bed. "I know Seth. But don't worry; I won't be deflowering you tonight. A simple blowjob, that's all."  
  
Seth could feel his hot cheeks and his pout and tried to get rid of them both. "I didn't just mean with guys. I've never done anything with anybody. Even kiss."  
  
Ryan stopped laughing then. "You've never even kissed a girl?"  
  
Seth shook his head now, feeling 10 times the loser. "Just that peck from Summer. Never a real kiss, never a we're in bed and other things are going to happen kiss."  
  
Ryan swore and looked disappointed. "We really shouldn't be doing this then."  
  
Seth stared at him. "Why not?"  
  
"Your first sexual experience ever, it should be with a girl. Don't you want it to be?"  
  
"I don't know, I guess it be nice. But beggars can't be choosers. And I have a definite idea that you're going to be better than any girl who would be willing to give me my first taste."  
  
Ryan actually got a little pink in the face. "If you're sure."  
  
Seth crawled closer to Ryan. "I'm sure."  
  
Ryan got back up on his knees and wrapped his arm around Seth's waist again. He rubbed his center against Seth's center and smiled as the other boy gave a small moan. He maneuvered the two of them over to the pillows and guided Seth down so he was lying on his back. He crawled between his knees and reached for Seth's boxers. He looked up into the dark haired boy's eyes to see if it was alright. Seth looked apprehensive, but their was nothing in his face that told Ryan to stop. Ryan removed the white boxers, encouraging Seth to lift up his backside to assist. He threw them aside and went back in for his target.   
  
Swollen and red, Seth's erection was pressing against his stomach, almost reaching his belly button. It was very tempting. If the girls who turned down Seth knew he had that, they'd be changing their tune. He leaned his head down, ready to take his 1st taste.  
  
"You don't hesitate, do you?"  
  
Ryan looked up to see Seth staring at him with huge eyes. "Maybe you missed my explanation before. You don't have to go through all of that kissing and caressing stuff this way. You just immediately get your dick sucked."  
  
"But doesn't the kissing and caressing stuff feel good too?"  
  
Ryan almost let out a frustrated sigh. But then he remembered that Seth never had experienced that part of it either, so he stifled it. "It does, it really does. But when you're already rearing to go, what's the point?"  
  
Seth nodded in understanding. "Ah... okay.""  
  
Ryan thought he sounded a little disappointed. "Did you want me to kiss you?"  
  
Seth shook his head no. "I want you to do whatever it is you would normally do."  
  
Ryan smiled. "Good, well then in that case, lie back, shut up and let me get back to work."  
  
Seth took the hint, laid back and shut up.  
  
He was back off the pillow 5 seconds later when Ryan's mouth was around the head of his penis. Ryan reached out an arm blindly and pushed him back down.  
  
Ryan worked his mouth down Seth's dick taking in as much as possible. All of it was not possible, so he wrapped his hand around the base and used it to assist him.  
  
Seth was as tense as he had ever been. He had never, ever felt anything like that ever, ever before.   
  
It was amazing!   
  
Hot and wet, Ryan's tongue was soft, but still rough all the same. And every time Seth felt the light light scrape of teeth he was sure he could cum any second.  
  
Actually, he had almost came the moment Ryan had put his mouth on it, but he summoned all of his will power and hadn't cum yet.  
  
Yet.  
  
Ryan could feel how tense Seth was. "Relax." He said when he pulled up for a moment. "It will feel even better if you don't fight it." Ryan was pretty sure he knew why Seth was fighting it. He could remember his first blowjob. He had been ready to cum 10 seconds into it. But he hadn't wanted it to end. Ever. "Trust me, just relax, I'll make it worth it."  
  
"But I'll... I'll..." Seth stuttered through shallow breathes.  
  
"It's okay, you have to trust me." And as Ryan felt Seth relax a little, he went back to his task at hand. He doubled the suction, tripled the tongue action, and tightened his grip. Seth began to write underneath him and he knew it was working. So Ryan went in for the kill, it was a trick he had learned just before leaving Chino. He began to hum tunelessly and slipped a finger right behind Seth's balls, tickling and stroking his perineum.  
  
And that was all it took.  
  
Seth's hips tried to rocket off the bed, but Ryan forced them back down. And Seth was cumming, wave after wave after salty sticky wave into Ryan's mouth.  
  
"Fucking shit... fucking shit... Oh Ryan fucking shit." Seth nearly chanted.  
  
Ryan did something he normally didn't do and swallowed. For some reason he felt, being it was Seth's first time, he owed him that. Truth be told, Seth didn't taste half bad. When he had gotten it all, he let Seth's softening dick fall from his mouth and gently lapped up whatever had dripped onto Seth. When he had him clean and drying, he grabbed the discarded white boxers and clumsily struggled them on the still recovering boy. He wiped his hand over his mouth and then laid down next to Seth, staring at the stunned look on his face.  
  
"You okay Seth?" He asked, the hint of a laugh in his voice.  
  
Seth tried to open his mouth to speak, but was unable to do so. So he just shook his head no.  
  
Ryan, worried, looked even more intently at him. "Why? What's wrong?"  
  
"Most amazing... Never before... Brain cease function..." Seth gasped out, speaking in clips.  
  
Ryan sighed. Seth was fine. He was just in a bit of sensory overload. "You'll be okay. Give it a few minutes to wear off."  
  
"Don't want it to wear off."  
  
Ryan laughed. "Getting better. That was almost a complete sentence. And, sorry, but it kinda has to wear off, or you'll never be able to function normally. But its okay, the great thing about an orgasm is you can always have another one."  
  
"Yeah, want another one."  
  
Ryan laughed some more. "Not right away. We'll never have you speaking normally again, if we do two in a row. Plus, I'm not sticking that monster in my mouth again for at least another hour. My jaw is still sore."  
  
"In an hour then?" Seth's face wasn't looking as shocked anymore. He was definitely coming off the high.  
  
"Greedy." Ryan joked.  
  
"Wait a second." Seth paused, finally moving, sitting up slightly to look at Ryan. "Did you just call my dick a monster? Or was my brain still not working right?"  
  
Ryan blushed. He had kinda hoped Seth hadn't processed that. "Well... It's not like it's exactly tiny... I mean..."  
  
"A monster... is it really that big?" Seth was starting to look a little proud.  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Don't go getting all full of yourself now.  
  
"What's wrong?" Seth asked, sounding a little cocky. "Is it that much bigger than yours? You feel inadequate?"  
  
"You really need to fucking shut up." Ryan was having pleasant thoughts of strangling Seth right now.  
  
Seth lifted up the band of his boxers and peered inside. "It's only about 8, 8 and a half inches. I never realized that was all that big. But I'm guessing from your tone, you've got what, 3 and a half, 4 inches at the best. No wonder you're usually on the receiving end. Something that small probably doesn't do much for anyone. Has Marisa seen it? Maybe Luke's is bigger. Maybe that's why she went back to him."  
  
Angry, Ryan moved very quickly, preparing to strike, he straddled Seth's waist kneeling. He raised his fist and was about to bring it smashing down into Seth's face, but he looked down, saw the terror there, and stopped himself just in time. Seth's eyes were wide and fearful.  
  
"Fu... fuck Ryan. I'm sorry... I was just joking. A really bad joke, yeah. But I was just joking." Seth was nervously apologizing, nearly trembling underneath Ryan. "Marisa's not that kind of girl. That kind of thing wouldn't matter to her."  
  
Ryan sank back so he was sort of sitting on Seth's thighs. He took a few steadying breaths. "I'm sorry I was about to hit you Seth." He said in a slightly stony voice.  
  
"No... no. It's okay. I would have deserved it." Seth felt horrible about what he had said to Ryan. "I shouldn't have said those things about Marisa. I really shouldn't have said any of it. But that was really shitty of me to say that about Marisa."  
  
Ryan knew that Seth hadn't meant it maliciously. He had been coming off that high, feeling giddy. Ryan knew he wasn't thinking before he spoke and that was why something so insensitive had come spilling out. But it still made his insides burn to think about Marisa choosing Luke. It made him itch to hit something, preferably Luke, or to just scream. Neither of which he could do. Well he supposed he could scream. 'Dr' Seth over there had told him not to bottle that shit up... Ryan gave his head a shake. What was he doing? All of this had him acting so strangely. If he kept getting lost in his thoughts like this, people were going to start thinking he was a basket case, along with trash and a loser.  
  
Seth watched Ryan staring off into space, still sitting on his legs. He wondered if he'd be getting off any time soon. It was slightly disconcerting, though Ryan's weight wasn't all that bad. It was actually kinda nice. Ryan's legs were warm and firm against his hips. And the way his ass was just parked so comfortable over his crotch, just their boxers separating everything. Seth was beginning to wonder what it would feel like if they weren't there. He could just slip himself right between those hard cheeks...  
  
'Whoa!'  
  
Seth mentally bitch slapped himself as he felt his body begin to respond to the ideas he was having. Tonight was going from weird to fucking weirder. Wasn't strange enough that he had just gotten a blowjob from Ryan, now his body was hoping to stick itself in another of the sandy haired boy's orifices.   
  
"Thinking about Summer sitting on you now?" Ryan broke Seth's thoughts with a very sarcastic tone, when he realized once again that Seth's erection was pressing into him.  
  
Seth went scarlet. "No."  
  
Ryan rubbed his ass down on Seth's hardening dick. "No? A different girl now? What Gabrielle? Someone from school?  
  
Seth struggled to keep focus on Ryan and not just close his eyes and moan. "No girl." A little moan did escape. "You."  
  
Ryan ceased in teasing the boy underneath him, stopping the motions and looking down at him in surprise. "Me?"  
  
"You."  
  
"Why me?"  
  
"Because you're the one with his ass rubbing all over my dick." Seth answered truthfully.  
  
Ryan's anger towards Seth melted away at that news and felt oddly flattered that he turned the boy on so much. Of course it might just be the position they were in. It might just be with Seth's inexperience, anything and everything got him hard. "Do you want me to get off?"  
  
"Only if I can help." And Seth went red again at his own daring.  
  
Ryan turned a little pink as well and gave a small laugh. "You know what I meant."  
  
But Seth thought about it. He had gotten off tonight. Boy had he ever. But Ryan hadn't. Then again, maybe Ryan wasn't in the mood. But what 16 year old healthy male was ever not in the mood? Was it only right that Seth offer to return the favor? Could he touch Ryan the way Ryan touched him? There was really only one way to find out. "Do you want me to do to you, what you did to me?"  
  
"And completely out of left field, Seth Cohen." Ryan deadpanned.  
  
At this point, Seth's face was never going to return to its normal pallor.  
  
"Seth, are you offering me a blowjob?" Ryan asked.  
  
"I suppose I am."  
  
"And just all of the sudden you have the desire to put your mouth on my cock?"  
  
"I have the sudden desire to return the favor." Seth responded, wishing Ryan didn't have to be so blunt. He really did like it better when the boy didn't say much at all. "If putting my mouth... If doing that is what's entailed, then so be it."  
  
'So, Seth doesn't actually want to suck me off.' Ryan mused. 'He just thinks he has to return the 'favor'. Ryan felt a small pang of disappointment. "You have no favor to return, we're even. You helped me out, I helped you. It's square."  
  
It was Seth's turn to feel a small stab of disappointment. "You don't want me to?"  
  
Ryan looked down from where he sat on Seth's legs into the boy's warm eyes. "Seth, if you actually wanted to give me a blowjob, of course I'd want you to. But you don't want to, so I don't want you to."  
  
Seth was a little unsteady under Ryan's intense gaze. "Who says I don't want to? I offered, didn't I?"  
  
Ryan gave a small smile. "You offered because you think you owe me. Not because you actually wanted to do it."  
  
Seth had to dart his eyes from Ryan briefly, because it was sort of true. He wasn't really sure how he felt about putting Ryan's dick in his mouth. But he was willing to give it a try. "I du..." Sheesh, great time for his voice to crack. "I do want to." Yeah, that sounded oh so convincing.  
  
Ryan's smile grew a little warmer as he continued to watch Seth. The boy was too cute. And it surprised Ryan that he thought that, because cute was definitely not a way he usually described other guys. But he couldn't help it. Ryan was %100 cute.   
  
And tall, lanky, but still strong. With great hands. Ryan had felt them while Seth had held him. They were great hands.  
  
Ryan couldn't believe he was turning down a blowjob from him. From Seth with the great hands, infectious smile, and good God that dick.   
  
Seth, who had come in here, held him, let him break down, made him feel safe, and comforted him, like no one had ever done before.   
  
Seth, who was turning out to be the best friend he ever had.  
  
And had he mentioned that dick? It made him wonder why he even bothered with girls.  
  
And then the image of Marisa popped in his head, the way she looked at him, the way she touched his hand, the way she kissed him.   
  
And Ryan knew it was because no guy ever looked at him like that, with a soft smile and a glow in his eyes. No guy ever touched his hand like that, soft and tender, the way you touch something that's special and precious to you. And most definitely no guy ever kissed him the way Marisa kissed him.  
  
But then again, he never let any of them, not since that first guy had forced them on him all those years ago. He had strict rules when it came to fooling around with guys. It was strictly business. The matters of the heart were just not an issue. It was simpler that way. There was no chance of getting hurt, if you didn't get involved.  
  
And Ryan wasn't sure why he was so convinced anything more concrete than a fuck and go system with another guy would get him hurt, but his gut feeling was always not to risk it.  
  
It wasn't that he never wanted more. Brian, that was the boy from back home, there had been times when he wanted nothing more than to kiss him, caress him before they dived into sex. And there was definitely times when he would have loved to stay when they were done, fall asleep with Brian in his arms.  
  
But those were both against his rules and he had denied himself of that experience. Out of all of his partners in the past, Brian was really the only one he ever wanted to do such things with. But due to his girlfriend, Brian had the same rules he did, so Ryan never dared.  
  
But now Ryan was looking down at Seth. And he wondered, just wondered what it would be like to kiss Seth, to caress Seth, to spend the night with Seth in his arms.  
  
Ryan had a feeling Seth would let him. The boy seemed almost starved for that kind of experience. He was certain he had heard disappointment in the Seth's voice when he had told him his rules. But it was weird. He was certain that Seth would kiss him, but he was just as certain Seth had no desire what so ever to give him a blowjob.  
  
Getting a blowjob from a guy and giving a blowjob to a guy were two completely different things. Seth could close his eyes and pretend it had been Summer sucking him off. But there was no way for him to close his eyes and pretend he was sucking Summer off.  
  
But it had been Ryan's name Seth had called out when he climaxed. Seth knew that it was Ryan who was giving him pleasure.   
  
And Seth was hard now because of Ryan, not because he was thinking of Summer. Maybe the boy's adamant demands that he was straight didn't mean as much as he thought. Maybe Seth really was willing to experiment.  
  
All of Ryan's thoughts about Seth were having a surprising effect on him. He felt a stirring in his groin area and he was surprised to find he was getting a little hard.  
  
Ryan had rarely ever gotten hard over another guy before. Once or twice the thought of Brian had caused a twitch below. But usually, usually with guys he was already hard, thinking about the girl he really wished was about to open his jeans.   
  
But he was getting hard now and it was Seth he was thinking about.  
  
Seth suppressed a laugh as he studied Ryan. He had never seen anyone so deep in thought. And his facial expressions! Seth was dying to know what the other boy was thinking. Seth wondered if he had been pondering whether or not to accept the blowjob that whole time. But Ryan was looking surprised now, shocked almost, and Seth was now really wondering what was going through the boy's mind. "Ryan?"  
  
Ryan jumped when Seth said his name, being forced back into reality. He looked into Seth's eyes and saw that they were dancing up at him. The look Seth got whenever he was trying to keep from laughing. What had Seth so amused? Had Seth noticed his erection starting to form? Was that what he was laughing at? But why would that make Seth laugh? He would think, if anything, that would make Seth nervous, not amused. Maybe he was laughing at something else.  
  
"Rrryyaann." Seth tried once again to get the other boy's attention.  
  
"Yeah Seth?" Ryan finally answered Seth, sounding a little nervous, which bothered him. It was just Seth.  
  
"I was just getting worried." Seth admitted, laughter still in his eyes, if not on his lips. "I lost you. You were staring off into space for like 15 minutes."  
  
Ryan looked a little embarrassed. "It was not 15 minutes."  
  
Seth smiled. "Seemed like it."  
  
How had he put it before? Infectious smile? Yeah, that was it. When Seth smiled, Ryan usually couldn't help smiling back. "I was thinking."  
  
"Thought I smelled smoke."  
  
Ryan responded in a very mature way, by pinching Seth on the side.  
  
"Ow." Seth got a mock hurt look on his face. ""Why'd you do that?"  
  
Ryan just shrugged.  
  
So Seth, if anything, just as mature as Ryan, reached out and pinched Ryan on his side.  
  
Ryan reached next and pinched Seth's thigh.  
  
Seth reached out again and pinched Ryan's thigh.  
  
Ryan this time reached out and pinched Seth's nose.  
  
The minute Ryan leaned towards his face though, Seth was ready. As it clamped down on his nose, Seth tugged on Ryan's hand.  
  
Ryan hadn't expected that and was knocked off balance. He fell forward until he was bare chest to bare chest with Seth and their heads hit into each other with a slightly sickening 'thunk'.  
  
"Ow." Seth said again. And this time he really meant it.  
  
"You okay?" Ryan asked, lifting his head from where it ended up and to look at Seth. The top of his forehead had hit right above Seth's left eye and it looked like he was going to have a bruise. He ran his fingers lightly over the spot. "Does it hurt?"  
  
The touch on Seth's forehead, gentler then he could have ever expected from Ryan, made him shiver all over. "Not really. I'm alright. Sorry about that, I didn't realize I would knock you over. "Are you hurt?"  
  
"It's okay. I'm fine. Well, hold on." Ryan, whose legs were still bent in the kneeling position, stretched them out behind them letting them lie between Seth's. "Now I'm fine."  
  
If having Ryan sit on him was kinda nice, having him lie on top of him was fucking wonderful. All of his weight was displaced so his whole body was comfortably supporting it. Their faces were inches away, that strong, rough hand still smoothing the smarting spot over his eye, and their mid sections pressed together, so that Seth's still throbbing(maybe even more so now) dick was rubbing right underneath Ryan's own hard on.  
  
Wait a moment.   
  
What was that?   
  
Seth moved his hips just a tad. Ryan was hard. Not quite as hard as he was, but definitely aroused. And wow... It felt so right, thick and full, next to his own. Seth's own dick gave a twitch and throbbed even harder. He couldn't believe how turned on the feel of Ryan's erection was making him. No, he wasn't queer, not at all. "Ryan." He breathed.  
  
Ryan could feel it too. He had no idea what was coming over him. But it felt intense, extreme, it felt real, and it felt good. He was growing a bit harder every time Seth pulsed beneath him. And in a second or two he was going to be just as turned on as Seth. "Seth." He responded.  
  
"I know this is against your rules..." Seth began, but he never finished his sentence. He stared into Ryan's blue eyes, wrapped an arm around his neck, placed that hand in Ryan's hair, pulled him close, and kissed him. He had no clue what he was doing, but he knew enough to put his lips to Ryan's. After that he was just going to have to wing it.  
  
Or...  
  
Or Ryan could just take control of the kiss. It took Ryan all of a second to register what was going on and he was kissing Seth back. He tilted his head so that they had a better angle. He didn't merely put his lips to Seth's; he clamped them there, sealing the two boys together. He was trying with all his will to keep the kiss simple, so he wouldn't overwhelm Seth. But it wasn't possible. Almost immediately, his tongue was dying for a taste of Seth's mouth. Ryan gently pushed his tongue through Seth's teeth and into his mouth. He ran it over the roof, letting the tip to flit over the ridges. He continued over the smooth surface of Seth's teeth and then, as gently as he could, behind his lips.  
  
Seth tasted like cola and baked potato chips. Ryan wondered if he'd ever be able to eat either of those things again without getting hard.  
  
Ryan felt Seth's tongue come out to touch his and then draw back immediately. Ryan had to fight hard not to smile when he felt that. Too friggin' cute. Ryan directed his tongue over to Seth's and rubbed them together. Seth must have liked that, because he immediately repeated the action. Ryan made a slow soft circle around Seth's tongue with his own and they were soon swirling them together as they kissed.  
  
Seth had been so nervous about the kiss, so unsure of himself, that that had been all he was doing. When he felt Ryan's one hand begin to trail down his side and the other thread itself through his curls, he remembered his lips were not his only working body part. The hand he had placed on Ryan's head started to play with the sandy colored strands. They were so soft. He'd never considered that possibility, that a guy's hair could be this soft. It was just something he had always associated with girls. Not that he had ever felt that either... but well. But Ryan's hair was soft, the feeling of it between Seth's fingers was intriguing, stimulating even.   
  
Seth also noticed that every few seconds, Ryan would put down the arm that was tracing over his side, on to the bed to steady himself and keep from tilting over. To help him out, Seth wrapped his other arm around Ryan's back, holding him close, and keeping him from rolling off. He encountered another pleasant surprise when he placed his hand at the base of Ryan's back and he felt how warm and smooth the skin was there and how the sprinkling of hairs was fine and crinkled pleasantly under his fingertips. He found himself brushing his fingers back and forth, tracing imaginary patterns. It was like heaven... he could do this all day. Kiss Ryan, play with his hair, and trace over the skin on his back.  
  
Ryan almost froze when he felt Seth begin to play with his hair and stroke his back. The boy's touch was so gentle, so... so... loving. But... but maybe he was reading too much into it. Maybe he was feeling things that weren't really there. Seth's touch could just feel like that because he was being hesitant, nervous about it all. But if the way Seth was kissing him was an indication...   
  
There was no hesitation there. Seth was kissing him without any reservations, returning every measure Ryan was introducing.   
  
Maybe Seth was feeling what Ryan was.   
  
Maybe it wasn't Ryan hopeful imagination, as the boy starved for a touch that meant something, the way Seth starved for some attention.   
  
Maybe it was real.   
  
And maybe it was turning him on.  
  
Ryan let out a strangled little moan into the other boy's mouth as Seth's hand came down from his hair to caress the side of his face with a feather soft touch.  
  
Seth yanked his hands back as if Ryan had suddenly grown scalding hot. "I'm sorry." He said, looking down at his hands. "Did I do something wrong?"  
  
Ryan, without Seth's arm to steady him, slid off of the boy and was now half lying, half slumped next to him. He reached out to touch Seth's face just like he had done to him. "No, no, it, it was perfect. I can't remember the last time someone touched me like that."  
  
Seth raised his head and locked his eyes to Ryan's. "Like what?"  
  
Ryan knew he was going a little pink in the face again. He'd never blushed this much in his life. "Like you cared." Marisa always touched him like he was special, but he never really felt it, not the way he felt it when Seth touched him.  
  
That comment brought a smile to Seth's face and a glow to his eyes. And maybe the smile wasn't as soft as Marisa's and maybe the eyes glowing at him weren't a calm blue, but a sparkling brown, but they made Ryan's heart give a small leap none the less.  
  
"Is this what happens next? We go from horny to sappy? Somehow I never pictured that jump when I imagined this." Seth tried to crack a joke, tried to cover up the fact that he wanted nothing more than to show Ryan exactly how much he did care.  
  
Ryan didn't take offense to the 'sappy' comment. He knew Seth was just trying to cope. "You've imagined this before?" He asked, trailing fingers over Seth's jaw bone.  
  
Seth gave another shiver as a tingle spread from where Ryan had touched him, straight down to the tips of his toes. "I'll be honest with you. I never imagined doing this with you before. But now it's happening, I never want to think about anything else."  
  
Ryan's heart really leapt that time. It felt like it was trying to jump right out of his body. And that's when the cheesiest stupidest thought came to him.   
  
Maybe his heart was trying to get to Seth's.   
  
Ryan's face felt even warmer now. To cover it up, he leaned his head into Seth's and kissed him again. Seth turned towards him to make it easier.  
  
Kissing back, Seth's hand reached out for Ryan again. He placed it on the boy's shoulder and began to stroke the skin there like he had done to Ryan's back. So warm, so strong.  
  
Ryan snaked his tongue into Seth's mouth again and they began wresting them together. He brought his arm around Seth's back, planting his hand on the lower part of the shoulder, gently pulling him in closer.  
  
Seth began to trail his hand from Ryan's shoulder, down his side, as the sappy lovey thoughts started to get pushed aside again when he realized that they were both still painfully hard. He arched his hips and rubbed himself against Ryan. That felt so good. So he continued it, rubbing his clothed cock against Ryan's clothed cock until he was hit with the realization that he was really interested in seeing what Ryan had underneath those navy blue boxers. He let his hand continue even further down, as he listened to Ryan make moans against his mouth. Seth finally rested on Ryan's inner hip, fingering the elastic on his boxers. He slipped one finger underneath the elastic and hooked it there, moving it until it was aligned with Ryan's belly button. There was a small gasp against his mouth this time. Seth broke  
  
the kiss. "Ryan?"  
  
Ryan could hear the apprehension in Seth's voice. And wondered just what he might ask. "Seth?"  
  
"Can I see it?" Seth asked, breathless with anticipation. "Can I touch it?"  
  
"Oh Fuck." Ryan moaned. The stimulation of Seth rubbing against him had him in dire need of an orgasm. And if Seth was willing to, wanted to touch him, maybe the problem could be taken care of. "Yes, fuck yes, please!"  
  
Seth got as far as the first yes and he was reaching into Ryan's boxers, pushing the elastic low on the boy's hips, and pulling his goal out with ease.  
  
Seth had never felt anything like it.  
  
Well, that was a lie. He had felt something like it 2 to 3 times a day for the past four or so years.  
  
But in all that time, he never quite realized the hot silk that was an erection, the throb it gave of like a beacon calling him to it. He tried to wrap his hand around it like he would his own and found that he had to adjust a little to get a good grip. And once he did, it was like instinct, he began to move his hand up and down it, softly first, slowly learning the feel and the pulse of it. And watching Ryan to see if certain things triggered better responses.  
  
"It's... it's a little dry." Ryan whispered, absolutely hating to complain about anything at this moment.  
  
Seth responded by releasing Ryan and holding up his palm to the blonde's mouth. Ryan licked up it wetly, sending pleasurepleasurepleasure down to Seth's dick, causing it to buck madly. He returned to Ryan's cock, the spit making the ride a lot easier.  
  
Ryan pulled in again and started to kiss once more. Seth adjusted his grip so he could keep at it. Ryan, knowing Seth was still hard too, tried to maneuver himself so he could jerk Seth off as well. But he was so consumed by the intense feelings floating through every single nerve in his body to do anything more than cup Seth's arousal with his hand.  
  
Seth stroked, Ryan cupped, Seth humped into the hand, and Ryan moaned into the kiss.  
  
Now, here would have been the perfect time for Marisa to walk into the pool house again unannounced.  
  
The thought had barely flitted through Seth's mind when Ryan broke the kiss, threw back his head, and came in a rush in Seth's hand. Seth looked down just in time to see Ryan's beautiful cock give an almighty twitch and shoot wave after wave of sticky white cum between their bodies, the majority ending up on Seth's chest and hand. The amazement at watching Ryan cum, the power knowing that he had caused it and the fact that Ryan's hand still cupped his own erection sent Seth over the edge as well. And as Ryan hand gave one last hump, if fell away from its resting place and Seth came. He was a little surprised, after he was done being amazed with Ryan, to find there wasn't only cum cooling on his chest and hand, but inside his boxers as well.  
  
Ryan rested his forehead against Seth's. "Fucking shit."  
  
"Ditto." Seth was temporarily at a loss for complex sentences.  
  
They lay there for a moment, basking in the after glow, so to say. Ryan's arm was still holding Seth close and Seth still had his hand on Ryan's dick, though Ryan's still laid still near Seth's.  
  
"This is starting to feel a little gross." Seth mentioned, hating to break the almost romantic, touching moment. But he had never had another man's cum on him before, and while he found it fascinating, as it cooled it felt odd and slimy.  
  
"Just lick it off your hand. I'm not moving." Ryan responded, his voice deep, throaty. Sounding, well there was no other way to put it, content.  
  
"That could be a plan, but I'm not bendable enough to lick my chest or my crotch. So unless you want to lick those for me, I need to go clean up."  
  
Ryan finally stirred, looking Seth over. "Wow, I did get it all over you." And he let out what may have been a giggle. Except guys like Ryan don't giggle. But then he narrowed his eyes. "But there's no way I came on your crotch. You still have your underwear on."  
  
Seth was blushing for like the 803rd time tonight. "It's not your cum."  
  
Ryan placed his hand as it had been before, cupping Seth. "You came in your boxers?" There was this odd twinkle in Ryan's eyes, it looked... prideful. "When?"  
  
"Two seconds after you came." Seth muttered, not liking that Ryan seemed amused by this.  
  
Ryan's smile was huge when he kissed Seth soundly on the mouth. "Stay here." He instructed firmly before he got off the bed and headed into the bathroom.  
  
Seth obeyed and laid there feeling gross and starting to get cold without Ryan's warmth. It was a few minutes before Ryan came back out. He had put on fresh boxers, red this time, which were just visible above a pair of old worn gray sweatpants. In one hand he had 2 t-shirts, another pair of sweatpants, and what might have been a pair of underwear. In the other hand he had a hand towel, which looked like the one end had been dipped in water.  
  
Ryan sat down on the bed and placed the clothes aside. He pushed Seth lightly down on his back and picking up the boy's hand, he wiped up the cum still clinging there. When it was clean, he dried it with the other side of the towel. The he cleaned up Seth's chest, making sure he got every splatter. He gave small light kisses on spots that had been hit particularly bad before he dried it. When he was all done there, and with a little assistance from Seth, he removed the sticky boxers. He chucked them into the bedside garbage can and used the last clean, damp section of his hand towel to wipe up Seth's lower region. Ryan was extremely gentle and quick, not wanting to add any more stimulation as Seth had cum twice since he'd been there. When that too was clean and dry, he placed a kiss on Seth's hip and  
  
then turned to get the clothes.  
  
"Here, I found a clean pair of underwear that might fit you. And, it was getting a little chilly in here, so I grabbed a pair of sweats as well." Ryan explained, handing them over.  
  
Seth was just staring at Ryan. He couldn't believe how sweet and caring he had just been while cleaning him up. He felt an odd twinge when he realized no girl had ever been as good to him as Ryan was. He couldn't decide what he like better. The orgasms or the way Ryan touched him, looked at him, placed those soft kisses.  
  
Seth went to slide on the clothes that Ryan offered.  When Ryan handed him the t-shirt though, he shook his head. "Can't we keep them off? I know its cold... but we could keep each other warm." But then a very bad thought hit him. "Unless you don't want me to stay. Unless you want me to stay but sleep on the couch. Or maybe in your bed, but no where near you... or..."  
  
Ryan reached out a hand and clamped it over Seth's mouth. His other hand chucked the t-shirts and towel on the ground. He took his hand off Seth's mouth, but took one of Seth's hands and replaced it.  
  
Ryan turned down the covers on his bed, maneuvered Seth until he was lying down on his back, and then laid down next to him. He pulled the hand off Seth's mouth and kissed him softly, no tongue, for a minute or two. The he pushed Seth to his side, facing away from him, spooned up behind him, and wrapped his arms around him the best he could.  
  
Seth snuggled into Ryan's arms, reveling in the comfort of the skin to skin embrace. "Can I talk now?" He asked.  
  
Ryan murmured his agreement, kissing Seth's shoulder.  
  
Seth opened his mouth to say, to say something, 'I love you' or 'Thank you' ... or... "Goodnight Ry."  
  
Ryan kissed the shoulder again. "It's okay Seth, I know. I feel it too. Night."  
  
And still trying to figure it all out, they fell blissfully asleep and stayed exactly that way until the pool house door was opened the next morning and  
  
they were awoken by surprised gasps. 


	2. Part 2

Title: Love in Dispute, Part 2   
  
Rating: NC-17 for language and sex  
  
Disclaimer: They Belong to FOX, not me.   
  
Spoilers: Up to The Escape, though my versions of what happened in TJ differ a tad… well more than a tad…What if the car hadn't broken down? What if they made it too TJ on the 1st night? And the big what if… What if Marissa hadn't come with them? What if she had stayed home, found out about her mom and dad there, found out about Luke over the phone from the girls inTJ… and what if she took the pills at home… Okay, I actually barely address any of this is this particular installment, cause I really didn't know what to do with her, so I just left her at home. I like Summer better anyway.  
  
Description: Just a continuation of before. Still sappy and cheesy. Still a little weepy… but everyone always seems to be crying in my fics. Oh well. So, someone walks in on Seth and Ryan… whoever could it be? And what could it mean for Ryan and Seth's budding relationship? Beware of run on sentences, spelling and grammar errors, and Ryan being called Seth and Seth being called Ryan. I need to make a friend who would be willing to Beta… my beta's for my other kinds of slash refused to read OC stuff. Silly people.  
  
The gasps that awoke Ryan and Seth the next morning were from Mr. and Mrs. Cohen. Waking up the morning after the party, they noticed their son was no where to be found, and had gone out to the pool house to see if Ryan had seen him.  
  
He obviously had. As the two boys were still in Ryan's bed, Seth snuggled tightly in the blonde boy's arms, Ryan's face nuzzled into the dark haired boy's neck, looking to the whole world like… well like something Sandy and Kirsten were just not expecting at 11:30 am. Hence the gasps.  
  
Ryan was the first one to begin to stir as Seth's parents came in. He opened his eyes and saw the back of Seth's neck and smiled warmly. He couldn't believe they had stayed like that all night. Then out of the corner of his eye he saw movement and realized they weren't alone. Then he remembered why he had woken up and knew whatever had made those gasps was now walking around the pool house. He extracted himself from Seth and started to sit up. But when he saw what he saw, he wished he had never opened his eyes.  
  
Mrs. Cohen was standing by the head of the bed holding the small trash can in one hand and Seth's ruined boxers in the other. Mr. Cohen was standing at the foot of the bed holding the used towel. They both looked disgusted, angry, and a bit confused.  
  
"Shit." Ryan swore under his breath and reached over to nudge Seth awake. "Seth…" He muttered.  
  
Seth slowly began to wake up. His eyes still closed, he turned towards Ryan. "What, no kiss good morning?"  
  
"Seth…" There was a warning in Ryan's voice and he really woke up. He too, sat up and looked around. He repeated Ryan's swear. "Shit."  
  
Sandy and Kirsten were looking at the two of them, staring really, boring holes into the two boys. Mrs. Cohen spoke up first. "What the hell is going on here Seth? Ryan?"  
  
The two scrambled completely apart then, putting distance between them on the bed.  
  
"What were you doing out all night Seth?" Mr. Cohen asked in a loud voice, the tone unlike anything Ryan had heard yet. "What are the two of you doing in bed together?"  
  
Ryan and Seth looked at each other with a quick glance. There was fear in both of their eyes. It was deeper in Ryan's though. Seth just had to face his parent's disapproval. Ryan knew something like this was enough to get him kicked out of the house and back out on his own faster than he could blink.  
  
"So?" Kirsten asked, seeing the nervous look between the two. "What is going on? How long has this been going on? And… and… What made you two think it was okay to do this?"  
  
Seth scrambled towards his mother, kicking the covers away completely. "Mom! Mom… it was just last night, we swear! I came down to the pool house to make sure Ryan was okay…" He launched into the story about Ryan being upset over Marissa and the rest of his life. And how the boy had ended up crying in his arms. Ryan was hissing at him to shut up, begging him not to go any farther. The Cohen's still looked really tense, but there was a flash of sympathy in Kirsten's eyes that was unmistakable. Seth continued on, talking about more of the night, leaving out graphic details, but saying enough for his parents to know that he and Ryan were doing things that most boys didn't do with their friends.   
  
Ryan couldn't believe he was being this honest with his parents, letting his parents know this much. It was just going to make it worse and worse for the two of them, the more the Cohen's knew. The panic was gripping at Ryan now, he knew that he was going to be kicked out, he knew it. For the second time in 24 hours he felt tears coming to his eyes again. He pulled his knees up to his chest, folded his arms over them, and dropped his head onto his arms.  
  
Seth finished up his explanation, making it sound to his parents as all they did was kiss and fall asleep together. Of course, Ryan was pretty sure they weren't going to buy it. They had some pretty damning evidence; exhibit A: the towel and exhibit B: the underwear.  
  
"Oh boys." Kirsten sat down on the bed next to her son. "That's enough Seth; you don't have to explain any more." She sounded calmer. "We aren't mad at you. Shocked yes, maybe a little disappointed. But we aren't mad."  
  
"Your mother is right boys." Sandy added. And the tightness around Ryan's chest doubled at 'your' mother. "We aren't mad at you. We don't like that once again Seth spent the whole night out of the house without letting us know where he was. And we're upset that you boys would sleep together in the same bed like that if this is how you feel about each other. You really do know better than that."  
  
Ryan heard Mr. Cohen it down in the chair near the bed and felt the bed move as Seth turned towards his father. "We didn't know we felt this way." Seth's strained voice told his dad. "We don't know how we feel!"  
  
"You mean you were just fooling around?" Kirsten's voice was rising again. She raised the underwear towards them. "Do you two just get off together? No feelings, just cheap sex?"  
  
Normally, Seth would be freaking out that his mother had just said cheap sex. But instead he was to busy going scarlet. "We don't know! I swear it was the first and only time! It just happened! We have no clue what's going on! It wasn't cheap! I didn't know it was going to happen!" Seth was getting all worked up. The panic and the stress of the situation were getting to him. Tears of frustration were starting to come to his eyes.  
  
"Oh… That's it… If you two had feelings for each other it would be one thing… But to just do this without any rhyme or reason!" Kirsten was getting worked up again. Sandy seemed beyond words. "Seth, get back up to the house, you are not allowed down here anymore. If you two are going to be so irresponsible! So irresponsible, we're just going to have to keep you two apart!"  
  
With a horrified look on his face, Seth burst into tears. "We are not irresponsible! I came down here to help Ryan out, to make sure he was alright! It just jappened! We're sorry! We weren't trying to be cheap or anything! I'm sorry!"  
  
Kirsten calmed down when her son started to cry. She moved closer to him and put her arm around him, drawing him in close. "Oh Seth… I'm sorry I yelled. It's just, what you two did… whatever you did… And maybe I'm just being old fashioned… But what you did, it should be done between 2 people who love each other, two people who are committed to each other. Not just because you're … you're horny." She stumbled over the last word as if it was something she had never said before.  
  
"No!" Seth erupted, suddenly realizing what his parents were reducing this to. "It wasn't just because we were horny!" It was more than that! I love… I really like Ryan…" He knew he was finally saying it out loud to not only his parents but to Ryan as well and trailed off to a near whisper at the end.   
  
Ryan froze at Seth's words. Had he been about to say he loved him? Hell, even that he really liked him…  
  
Seth's mom gave him another squeeze. "Are you gay Seth?" She said it softly, caringly, not accusingly.  
  
Seth shrugged. "I don't know…" He was still at a near whisper.   
  
Kirsten was studying him now. "Well, are you attracted to other boys, are you attracted to Ryan? Did you like what you did with Ryan?"  
  
"I'm not sure about other guys, but Ryan, yeah." Seth put his head down on his mother's shoulder. "Very much." And he was crying a bit harder now.  
  
Ryan listened to Seth and wanted nothing more than to go over there and hold him until he stopped crying. But he was afraid to lift up his head, he was afraid to see the look on the Cohen's faces and see his fate sealed.  
  
Sandy turned towards Ryan. The blonde boy had been fairly silent during his son's explanation and admission. He was interested in knowing what Ryan's part was in all of this. "Ryan?"   
  
Ryan made a noise in acknowledgement from where his head was buried in his arms.  
  
"Ryan, are you gay?" Sandy asked, not sounding quite as caring as his wife and make a touch more accusing.  
  
"No…" Ryan mumbled gruffly from his arms. "Bi…"  
  
Sandy sighed. "Did you talk Seth into this?"  
  
Seth sprang up off his mother's shoulder when he heard his father's accusatory tone. "No Dad! He did not talk me into anything! This was my idea! I started it!"  
  
Ryan felt a little surge of love as Seth stuck up for him and gave that small lie.  
  
Kirsten took her turn to question Ryan. She repeated her questions she had asked Seth. "Do you like Seth? Are you attracted to him?" This had to be the hardest conversation she had ever had with her son. She knew at some point Sandy and she would have to discuss proper relationship behavior with Seth. They had gone over the birds and the bees, but they knew they would have to lay down some guidelines when Seth became involved with someone. She had just never dreamed that someone would be Ryan or any other boy for that matter. She and Sandy had voiced concerns once or twice about whether or not Seth was interested in girls. But as he was shy and a little behind the rest of the children his age maturity wise, they had always assumed it was just a matter of time. And lately all he talked about was that Summer girl. This was just all so surprising. She returned her attention to Ryan, when she realized he had not answered her yet. "Well Ryan? Take your head out of your arms and look at us when we are speaking to you."  
  
Ryan did not raise his head. He was too afraid to talk to them, too afraid to look them in the eye. He knew when he did; they'd be telling him he was out, gone. And with that thought in his head, if he was to open his mouth one more time to speak, he'd be in tears. And he didn't want that to happen. He didn't want them to know how much it would kill him to leave.  
  
Seth heard Ryan make that same choking noise from the night before and knew his friend was hiding like that because he was close to crying. Seth tried to imagine what could have the boy so upset and as he thought, it hit him. Ryan probably assumed he was going to be kicked out of the house and that was what had him so distraught. Seth knew Ryan was trying so hard to stay out of trouble and to keep his parents happy with him. And even though they had promised Ryan he wasn't going anywhere, Seth could understand how Ryan would think that something like this would be enough to make them change their minds. The thought no had him a little panicked as well. He turned to his mother and father. "Mom! Dad! You're not going to send Ryan away because of this, are you? It wasn't his fault! It was mine! You can't make him leave!" Seth was near sobbing  
  
"God no!" Sandy exclaimed, looking startled at what Seth had said. "Ryan's part of the family now. We're not sending him anywhere."  
  
Kirsten wrapped her arm around her son again. "Seth, we care about Ryan very much, just like we care about you. And that's why we are so upset with the two of you. We don't want either of you to get hurt. Of course we aren't sending Ryan away. He belongs here now."  
  
Hearing those words from Mr. And Mrs. Cohen proved to be too much for Ryan. Not only was he not going to have to leave, but they weren't just worried about Seth. They cared about him too. They were worried about him. The relief washed over him and in seconds he was crying into his arms as loudly as Seth.  
  
Kirsten moved her and Seth over to Ryan and put her free arm around the other boy, pulling him close. A boy on each shoulder, she gave them both a few minutes to calm down before they advance any farther in the conversation. "Boys… shh… it's going to be okay."  
  
"Come on now boys." Sandy interjected, looking uncomfortably at the 3 on the bed. "There's no reason to be this upset. Enough with the tears now."  
  
"Too much that your son's a queer? Don't want him to be a cry baby too?" Seth sniffled on his mother shoulder, though his voice was joking and not bitter.  
  
Sandy's chest got a little tight at the whole 'your son's a queer' thing, but he knew he really wasn't to upset about it. As long as Seth was happy. "Seth. Don't call yourself that. And… and… There's just no reason to be crying like this. Like we said, everything is going to be okay."  
  
Ryan swiped furiously at his eyes, quickly stopping the flow. As he sat comfortable under Mrs. Cohen's arm, he knew Mr. Cohen was right. There was no reason to be getting on like the two of them were. But he didn't feel too ashamed of himself; that had been one hell of a scare. And just like last night, he did feel better. But he looked at Mr. Cohen. "Sorry."  
  
Sandy smiled softly at Ryan. The difference between the moody, smart alec boy he had met in juvenile detention facility to the young man sitting with his wife now was amazing. He knew that the boy would let down his guard with them at some point, but he had no idea it would have been so soon. And the fact that the idea of leaving them had him so shaken up. Sandy couldn't help but love the boy. And if his son was gay, or whatever he was, he couldn't trust another person more than Ryan as his partner in exploration. "It looks like the two of you have to work this out. If you don't want us to interfere we won't. But if you need our help, we are here for you. Also, if you decide not to date… get together, be together, whatever it is, there will be no more fooling around. Though, if you decide to be together…" He couldn't help that his voice sounded a little choked. "We ask that you show each other and the two of us respect. No sneaking around, no doing things you know you shouldn't. And either way, no more late night parties like this, okay?"  
  
Both Seth and Ryan nodded in agreement.  
  
"So, we aren't in trouble?" Seth asked, his eyes still a bit wet.  
  
"No…" Kirsten said as she still had the boys in her arms. "Not if you work this out and make a decision. Do you promise? We'll give you time and all."  
  
"Though…" Sandy began. "I think we'll have to cancel the plans for the two of you to go to ComicCon. It might not be such a good idea for you two to go  
  
on that trip alone now."  
  
Seth froze. He hadn't brought up his alternative plans for ComicCon to Ryan yet. Everyone else there age went to Tijuana that weekend. And this year he wanted to be everyone else for once. There was no way his parents would let him and Ryan go to Tijuana, so the fact that ComicCon fell on the same weekend was the perfect cover. "No! No, we won't be alone! A few friends of ours are planning to come along too. You can't call it off now. I've gone every time for years. I never miss it."  
  
Ryan couldn't understand why Seth was so adamant about going to this comic thing. He had agreed to it only because Seth was so ecstatic about it. To tell the truth, it sounded like a geek fest to him. And what friends was he going to get to come along?  
  
"Alright, alright." Sandy agreed. "But we need to approve these friends before hand, deal?"  
  
Seth beamed and nodded. "Deal!"  
  
"Okay. Now Seth, up to the house. Let's leave Ryan alone for a little while. You two need some time to think and clean up." Kirsten said, letting go of Seth, giving Ryan a big hug and a kiss on the cheek, and then getting off the bed.  
  
The Cohen's were leaving the pool house, when Seth paused and turned back to Ryan. He gave a really small smile thing and wave, but without moving his arm from where it hung at his side. "Bye Ry."  
  
Too friggin' cute. Ryan gave a huge grin back at him, but didn't wave. Instead he winked and kissed the air in Seth's direction. He chuckled to himself as he watched the boy leave in a fluster.  
  
Ryan laid back on the bed once he was alone. There was a warm feeling all through out him. He had a family who cared about him. He had an amazing place to live. And maybe, just maybe he had a best friend who could end up being more. All the two of them had to do was make the biggest decision of their young lives.  
  
***  
  
It was the day of the trip to Tijuana, or to ComicCon as the Cohen's believed. Since the morning that Seth's parents had found the two boys together the two had tried to sit down and talk things through. And so far they had not been able to have a good long discussion. Twice they had tried to talk in the living room and got embarrassed and ended up playing video games in silence until dinner had been called. Once they had been in the pool and Ryan had started to talk, but Seth, who had been staring intently at his mouth, had leaned in to give him the quickest, hottest little kiss Ryan had ever experience. And he had ended up getting flustered and dunking himself in the water, all thoughts of serious discussion having escaped his mind and were replaced by giddy, happy feelings of Seth's kiss. And the last  
  
time they had tried had been 2 mornings ago, but Summer, Summer had called, she was going to Tijuana, but her ride had fallen though, and no not only did they have the 'chaperone' requested by Mr. Cohen, but she was more than willing to lie about the whole ComicCon thing in return for a free ride.   
  
Fun weekend in Tijuana - Yea!  
  
Beautiful Brunette who makes Seth forget everyone else exists - Boo!  
  
Ryan was glad they got to go and nervous about deceiving the Cohen's of course, but most of all he was pretty sure they wouldn't be having their talk this weekend.  
  
Not with Summer around.  
  
Ryan watched as Summer and Seth bickered and laughed as they put the remaining items in the SUV. Sandy came up behind him and startled him by saying. "She's hot stuff, that Summer."  
  
Ryan shrugged. "She's okay."  
  
"Not really your type, huh?"  
  
For a moment Ryan thought Mr. Cohen was making fun of him, implying he didn't have an interest in girls. But then he continued. "Marissa Cooper is more your type of girl, isn't she? I can see that. She's not quite as… uhm… loud as Summer. Though I guess a girl would have to talk a lot to get a word in edge wise with Seth."  
  
Ryan shrugged again. "Yeah, Marissa's okay. She's with Luke though."  
  
"Ahh..." Sandy gave a nod. "You're not going to keep trying? That didn't seem to deter you before."  
  
"It doesn't matter." Ryan said, not really paying 100% attention to the conversation as his gaze had fallen on Seth who was teasing Summer about the amount of bags she had brought. He looked like he was having a lot of fun. He looked happy. "Maybe I shouldn't go on this trip."  
  
"What? And let Summer take your man?" Sandy was smiling jokingly. "Really now… go, I don't want the two of them alone all weekend any more than you do."  
  
Ryan really wasn't prepared for that comment. He looked at Mr. Cohen kind of wide eyed.   
  
Sandy laughed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to shock you. But you and Seth did have that talk right? I saw that little kiss in the pool, so I'm hoping you did."  
  
Ryan felt his face flare up, he had no idea they had been seen. "Uhm…actually… we haven't yet."  
  
Sandy narrowed his eyes at his adopted son. "And why not?"  
  
Ryan squirmed under the stare. "We've tried. It isn't easy. Everytime we try we either get too embarrassed or something comes up." He looked bitterly at Summer. "Or Someone."  
  
Sandy let out a small sigh. "You've got to set aside embarrassment and ignore outside distractions. We had a deal, remember?"  
  
Ryan nodded. "Maybe we'll get a few minutes to do it this weekend."  
  
"Good." Sandy smiled. "Seth come here for a moment!"  
  
Seth begrudgingly came over as Summer went to say goodbye to Marissa. "What Dad?"  
  
Mr. Cohen rambled on and on about phone numbers, air in the tires, and gas in the car for a few minutes. Finally in a lower voice, he said, "Okay boys, have a good time, behave, and try to stay out of trouble. I know you said the hotel room you got has two beds… so one of you be a gentleman and take a couch or the floor. No sharing. Do you understand me?"  
  
Seth moaned. "Yes Dad."  
  
And with a few more added everyday instructions, they were ready to go. Summer came back with well wishes from Marissa. And they were off. Seth and Summer fought and complained the whole ride there while Ryan sat in the back wishing they'd both shut up and maybe just leave summer on the side of the road. But they got there without any major problems and dropped there stuff off in the hotel room. Summer bitched about having to share the room with the two of them, but deep down understood when Ryan and Seth didn't want her to be all alone. Surprisingly, she invited them out with her and the 3 had a pretty good time drinking and dancing all night, until they ran into the other Newport kids. They caught Luke with Holly and summer rushed off with some of the other girls to call Marissa and let her know all about it. She called over her shoulder as she was rushing out the door that she would stay with the girls tonight and would meet up with the 2 boys for breakfast tomorrow. Some of the other kids shot her an odd look at the second part of that statement, but in the rush to call Marissa, none of them gave it too much thought.  
  
And Ryan and Seth were left alone. Finally in Ryan's opinion. "So do you uhm… wanna have a few more drinks and hang out? Or should we go back to the hotel?" Seth asked Ryan after they had quickly left the club they had been at in order to avoid any further confrontation with Luke and his water polo cronies. "We could try another bar? Pick up some honeys?"  
  
Ryan gave Seth a smirk. "I think you've had enough honeys for one day. Let's go back to the hotel. We can uh… hang out there."  
  
"And as I left my Ryan Atwood decoder ring at home…" Seth cracked. "Does that mean let's go back to the hotel and make out? Or let's go back to the hotel and have that long awaited talk we've been avoiding?"  
  
Ryan narrowed his eyes at Seth as they jostled their way down the street to the hotel. "We promised we wouldn't do the first without doing the second."  
  
"Ah…" Seth's baby brown's sparkled excitingly. "But we're in Tijuana and what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico."  
  
A sad look flashed through Ryan's eyes briefly. "So you want some one night stand we never talk about again? A secret little fuck fling we ignore happened when we get back to Newport? Maybe something like Luke and Holly were doing?"  
  
They arrived at the hotel just as Ryan finished up. Silently they went up to their room. "Well?" Ryan asked when Seth still hadn't answered him.  
  
"Well, well what?" Seth said, a touch of aggravation in his voice. He sat down in a slump on one of the beds. "I guess we're going to have the talk, huh?"  
  
Ryan just looked at him as he took a seat on the other bed.  
  
Seth was starting to look scared. "Ryan… I don't know. Yeah, maybe I do just want a one-night stand we pretend never happened when we get home. It might be easier that way."  
  
"Alright, if that's what you want." Ryan answered in a voice devoid of…well anything. He stood up and went into the bathroom.  
  
Seth stayed on the bed, staring at the bathroom door. He stayed like that as he listened to Ryan flush the toilet, run the water in the sink for a few minutes, and then come back out. He had his boots, tee-shirt, and jeans in his hands, having stripped down to his green boxers. Seth's eyes got wide and hungry as he took in Ryan's tight muscular body while the boy put his clothes on the chair and his boots on the ground. When he crawled up on the other bed, pulling down the covers and getting in, laying on his side facing away from Seth, Seth scrambled over there himself. He was reaching out for Ryan's shoulder when the boy spoke.  
  
"Get off the bed Seth." The words were cold, hard.  
  
Seth froze mid action. "But… I thought…"  
  
"You thought wrong." Ryan turned to face him, the look in his eyes making them appear 2 pieces of solid blue ice. "If that's how you want it, you'll have to go back out and find it elsewhere. Because you're not getting that from me."  
  
"What?" Seth sat there stunned. The he regained the use of his body and got off the bed. "What the hell Ryan? Fuck this! Who knew you were going to be such a stickler for my parents made up rules! You wanna have the talk? Fine! Let's have the stupid talk!"  
  
"Fuck off Seth! I'm not talking to you about anything when you're acting like this!" Ryan yelled back at Seth, sitting up in bed.  
  
"I'll do the talking then. It's how it usually is anyway. Now, let's see. We're supposed to be deciding whether or not we want to be together. Not an easy question, is it? Because I guess we have to decide what we have here first. Are we in love? Are we in lust? Or maybe, do we just kinda like each other? Is there a strong enough attraction between the two of us, are we actually compatible enough to even consider considering a relationship? And what was that night? Was it just two horny teenagers getting off…" Seth winced when he said that, because after addressing all of his own fears, that night came flooding back to him. "Or did you feel what I felt?"  
  
Ryan was still upset with Seth. "All I felt was your hard on stabbing me half the night."  
  
It would have hurt Seth less if Ryan had hit him. "That's too bad, because what I felt was amazing. That magical joining of souls kind of thing you hear about in the chick flicks mom likes. To me that night was about love and respect and admiration and not about hormones or getting off."  
  
"Than I really don't understand why we can't consider our possible relationship." Ryan said, his voice changing, showing the signs of emotion as the look in his eyes began to soften.  
  
"Because I'm scared shitless at the thought. Aren't you?" Seth glanced over at Ryan, the fear definitely in his eyes.  
  
"What's there to be scared of?" Any anger or bitterness was now completely gone from Ryan's face and voice.  
  
"Are the two of us really ready to come flying out of the closet together? We're already pretty unpopular with a certain group of jocks who would have kicking our ass material for like the next century if the two of us came out as a couple. And you're trying to stay out of trouble and I'm trying to live to be 17." Seth was watching Ryan closely, hoping his voice didn't sound as pathetic as he thought.  
  
Ryan sat against the headboard and patted the section of bed between his legs, beckoning Seth over to sit with him with a warm smile.  
  
Hesitantly, Seth made his way over to Ryan, climbing on the bed and paused right  be fore he sat where Ryan had indicated. But Ryan was holding out his arms for Seth and the minute he was close enough he pulled him in. Ryan pulled him until Seth's back was against his chest and his curly head was a few inches under his chin. The boy was lying, more than sitting against him. Ryan wrapped his arms around the front of him locking his hands so they rested on Seth's stomach, rising and falling lightly with his breaths. He knew there would be a big grin on his face. He had been dying to hold Seth against him like that for a while now.  
  
"And then there's Summer and Marissa." Seth, getting comfortable against Ryan, began again, softer this time. "We can't deny the fact that we are both still interested in the two of them." But as he rested against Ryan's chest and felt those strong arms around him, he had to wonder who he wanted more. "Do you want an open relationship? Where we're together, but we can still see other people?"  
  
Ryan turned his head to place his cheek on Seth's curls. "There isn't anyone else I want to see."  
  
Seth shuttered with the intensity of that statement. "You aren't going to keep pursuing Marissa?"  
  
"She's with Luke." Ryan answered plainly.  
  
"But after Summer gets to tell her about tonight, she may not be. She may be single again." Seth reminded.  
  
"It doesn't matter anymore." Ryan admitted. "There's no reason for me to wait for her to make up her mind any longer."  
  
Seth reached over and stroked Ryan's forearm lightly. "You still like her though Ryan. Don't lie to me or yourself and say you don't."  
  
The feel of Seth's touch and the things it did to him made an odd a contrast with the emotions thinking about giving up on Marissa completely caused. Ryan's hands tightened a little on themselves over Seth's stomach. "Yeah… well… Hey! Isn't this supposed to be about me and you, not me and Marissa?"  
  
Seth continued to stroke Ryan's arm. "Well we need to figure out you and Marissa before we can figure out you and me."  
  
The power of Seth's touch was driving the thought of Marissa right out of his mind. Ryan rubbed his cheek back and forth over Seth's hair a few times. "How about you and Summer?"  
  
Seth gave a very soft laugh. "There's more you and Marissa than there is Summer and I."  
  
Ryan smiled at that. "I know you don't want to give up on Summer either."  
  
"No more than you want to give up on Marissa." Seth's voice was starting to sound sad. "We don't have much of a chance do we?"  
  
Ryan put him arms tighter around Seth… almost as if to say he wasn't going to let go. "It completely depends on us."  
  
Hearing this, Seth asked the question he really wasn't sure he wanted the answer to. "Are you sure you're really willing to give up Marissa for me?"  
  
"For us Seth, for us. And I really don't feel like I'm giving anything up. Gaining something big, yeah. But not giving anything up."  
  
If Seth had been a girl he would have just swooned. "But… but…"  
  
"Do you like me Seth? Do you want to be with me?" Ryan lifted one hand and caressed the side of Seth's face.  
  
Seth closed his eyes and made a noise like purring. "Yes…"  
  
"Okay, well good, because I like you, I want to be with you." Ryan placed a really soft kiss on Seth's head.  "What if I told you, you were still more than welcome to flirt with Summer? Try and get a date with her?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"And that we didn't have to let anyone outside the house know about the two of us?"  
  
"What are you saying?"  
  
Ryan lifted his head back up and soothed Seth's curls with his hand before trailing it down his head, neck, and shoulders. "We want this. We want to be together, but we're scared of what will happen if everyone find out. So, we keep it a secret. You keep chasing Summer by day; it'll make you appear no different, no less hetero than before. Just as long as you come home to me at night. Just as long as you know who your heart belongs to."  
  
Ryan was solving 90% of the problem for Seth. But there was still one thing. "What if Summer finally says yes?"  
  
"Then take her out. Go to a movie, go to a party. Just come home to me."  
  
"What if she wants to go further than just a date?" Seth knew he might have been doing some wishful thinking here. "What if she wants to hook up… or become my girlfriend?"  
  
Ryan's fingers stopped their movement on Seth's shoulder and his other hand dropped from Seth's stomach. "You have to decide that Seth. Me or her. You can't have both of us. You can have us now and maybe miss out on Summer later. Or you can definitely miss out on us now and maybe have a chance of being with Summer later. It's your choice."  
  
Seth could hear the small touch of pain in Ryan's and knew he had hurt him, which he had totally not wanted to do. "Ryan… I'm sorry…"  
  
Seth could feel Ryan sigh. "It's okay Seth. I understand. It's a big decision. Why don't we sleep on it?"  
  
"Okay. That's a good idea." Seth felt as Ryan began to shift behind him and he moved so that he could extract himself. "Can I sleep here with you tonight?"  
  
Ryan looked Seth in the eyes. "No Seth. We aren't supposed to."  
  
"What if I had agreed right away? Would you have broken the rules then and let me?" Seth asked.  
  
Ryan smiled and the laughed. "I'll guess you'll never know, huh Seth?" He lay down in bed and pulled the covers up over him, still looking up at Seth.  
  
Seth lowered his head right down to Ryan's. "I'm going to give this serious thought. I don't want you to think just because at first I just wanted to take the coward's way out and just fool around that it means I don't want this and that I won't take it genuinely. Because I do like you and I do want to be with you."  
  
Ryan gave a soft small smile. "I know." He felt warmth spreading throughout him.  
  
"Good." And Seth moved in and gave Ryan a thorough, tongue infested kiss as proof.  
  
Ryan pushed him away, laughing. "Like it wasn't hard enough to kick you out of bed in the first place!"  
  
Seth laughed as well and worked his way over to the other bed where he just pulled back the covers enough to pull out the pillow before flopping down on top of the comforter to lay down completely clothed. "Night Ry."  
  
"Goodnight." Ryan drifted off asleep to dreams of kisses from Seth.  
  
On the other hand, Seth laid there and thought it all through. Summer or Ryan. Ryan or Summer.  
  
***A Few Hours Later***  
  
"Ryan." Seth shook the sleeping boy's shoulder in an attempt to wake him up. "Rryyaann…"  
  
Ryan blinked once, yawned, and rolled towards Seth. He blinked a few more times up at the dark haired boy who was sitting on the bed next to him. "Wha….what's wrong?" He yawned broadly. "You okay?"  
  
Seth nodded yes solemnly. "I made me decision. "I wanted to tell you."  
  
Ryan looked into Seth's paler than normal face and suddenly felt a little afraid. Seth looked very nervous about telling him. He must have decided to wait for Summer. "It couldn't wait for morning?"  
  
Seth shook his head no. "I wanted to tell you the minute I was sure."  
  
Ryan looked at his watch. He had been asleep for three hours. "Have you been up this whole time?"  
  
Seth nodded yes again. "I wanted to make sure I thought it through 100%."  
  
Ryan gave himself a brief moment to imagine the 3-hour rambling conversation Seth had most likely had with himself in his head. "And what was your decision?"  
  
"I have a crush on Summer. She beautiful and sexy. But that's about it. We really don't have the kinds of things in common you need to have a relationship that lasts. She's been my jerk off fantasy for years. But my attachment to her isn't much more than that." Seth said very seriously, looking straight at Ryan. "But you and I. You and I click. We understand each other. Often when it seems like no one else does. We may not have everything in common either, but we do when it counts, the important stuff. I'm comfortable around you, at ease. Summer makes me feel frustrated, but you, you make me feel good." Seth paused to study Ryan and his reaction to all of this.  
  
Ryan was staring at Seth in a bit of amazement. This wasn't exactly how he had planned Seth's explanation to go. So far it seemed to be in his favor, but he wasn't getting his hopes up completely yet. "You make me feel good too Seth."  
  
Seth smiled sheepishly. "I loved what we did that night and not just because we got off together. But because we shared something so intimate, something so amazing. And I know you felt it too. There's something that happens when we touch each other, even in the simplest, and it was like it was meant to be. My skin responds to yours like my body has never responded to anything ever before. And maybe it isn't the norm and maybe there are people out there who will say it isn't right. But I want what we have. I want to be with you. And I don't want to have to hide it if you don't want to, because there is a part of me that wants to scream it to the world because I know what we'll have is going to be so special and I want everyone to know that." Seth paused to draw in a deep breath. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want to be with you, if you will still have me, because I know we could fall into this so easily, because Ryan Atwood I believe I'm already falling for you."  
  
Ryan was stunned. No one had ever talked to him like that.   
  
No one ever.   
  
It did the oddest combination of things to him. It made him want to laugh and cry and kiss Seth until they couldn't think anymore. He didn't do any of it. He just lay there completely taken aback by Seth's honesty, his sincerity, and his love.  
  
"Should I read your silence as a no or a yes?" Seth asked uneasily, as he had just completely bared his soul, leaving himself wide open and vulnerable.  
  
Ryan found his voice. "Shit Seth, I'm sorry." He gave a nervous laugh. "I'm just in a bit of shock. Yes…yes! Totally, 100% yes!"  
  
Seth laughed lightly too. "So I shocked you, huh?"  
  
Ryan nodded yes. "You looked so grave when you woke me up, I was so sure you were going to say you chose to wait for Summer. And then when you said all of that, you kinda blew my mind."  
  
Seth gave an embarrassed grin. "I know I may have gotten a little flowery with it all…"  
  
"No, no. You, well you spoke from your heart. It was… it was kinda beautiful." Ryan gave him a warm smile in return. A little embarrassed himself; he reached out and took Seth's hand. "And just like the feeling I get whenever we touch, I've never experience anything like it."  
  
Seth flushed red. "Listen to the two of us." He tried to draw the conversation away from the very personal, intimate way it had been going. It was disconcerting to talk to Ryan like that, to hear Ryan talk like that back to him. Even if it was what they were feeling, even if it was the truth. "We sound like a couple of girl…"  
  
Ryan cut him off. "We sound like two people who are falling for each other. And it may feel a little awkward. But there's nothing wrong with that and nothing to be embarrassed by."  
  
Seth wondered how someone who had never been given proper love, never got the love he deserved, could know so much about and be so comfortable with it.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" Ryan asked Seth, noticing that he was just staring at him.  
  
"How amazing you are." Seth seemed to just blurt out with out thinking and he blushed deeply again.  
  
Ryan chuckled. "God, I hope you're always that honest with me. And thanks." He smirked. "I think you're pretty great too."  
  
"Eh! Stop looking at me with that shit eating grin and kiss me or something!" Seth announced, thoroughly flustered.  
  
Ryan finally sat up then, getting as close to Seth as possible, so that his legs, bent at the knee, draped over Seth's. He put an arm around Seth's waist, pulling the boy even nearer to him and ran his hand through the dark curls. "Only you would combine shit eating and kiss me in the same sentence." And he tilted Seth's head as he leaned in to kiss him.  
  
Seth, who had been sitting crossed legged that whole time, wanted to get even closer to Ryan. He put both arms around Ryan's lower back and heaved him, with a bit of difficulty, into his lap. Ryan made himself comfortable there, linking his legs behind Seth and tightening the arm around Seth's waist.  
  
And like that they kissed.   
  
And kissed.  
  
And kissed.  
  
Open mouthed, closed mouth, with tongue, and with teeth.  
  
They kissed until you would think they knew every square millimeter of each other's mouths down to the cellular composition.  
  
Seth knew Ryan was hard, in just his boxers it was visible and free between them. Seth was hard too; however, as he was still in his jeans, the restriction was tight and wholly uncomfortable. He broke their kiss and moved one arm from where it had been at the base of Ryan's spine, stroking and caressing, to around his neck. Struggling slightly, he lowered Ryan down on the bed and then got off it himself. He yanked off his tee shirt and ripped off his jeans, before climbing back on the bed to crawl over Ryan.  
  
Ryan reached for Seth the minute he was on top of him, hands now smoothing over soft boy skin instead on cloth.  
  
Seth, one arm propping him up, reached his other hand between Ryan's legs, but Ryan gently pushed it away. "Ryan…" He breathed. He reached again and Ryan repeated his prior action, knocking it away a little harder this time.  
  
"No Seth, we can't, we promised your parents." Ryan moaned, obviously not as all happy with his own statement.  
  
"We also told my parents we were going to Comic Con and we're here in Tijuana. We held up our end of the bargain. We had out talk. It's not like one of us is going to come home pregnant, how are they ever going to know?" Seth was pleading his case as he tried a third time to get his hand on Ryan's dick.  
  
Ryan's fingernails grazed over Seth's skin. "Seth…" He let Seth reach his goal. "Do you really think we should?"  
  
Seth had his hand in Ryan's boxers now, stroking him. "Yes, good God yes!"  
  
"Fuck." Ryan thrust up in Seth's hand. "You're right. No one will know but us. What happens in Mexico stays in Mexico. Let's do it."  
  
They locked mouths again in a deep kiss, as Seth continued to jerk Ryan off. And Ryan continued to stroke every inch of Seth's skin he could reach. After a few minutes Seth broke the kiss and caught Ryan's attention. "Can we make love?"  
  
Ryan looked up at Seth, stopping all actions completely. "Can we do what?" He almost yelled.  
  
Seth blanched; he stopped pulling on Ryan and dropped his hand. "I know it's a little soon… but we may not have a chance like this again for a while… and I just thought…"  
  
Ryan drew in a few deep breaths. "No… no… sorry… I didn't mean to yell like that, it's just…" He took another breath. "Did you just ask if we could make lu… well, if we could have sex?"  
  
Seth nodded. He suddenly felt really stupid that he had called it making love.  
  
"Wow… Hell… I don't know Seth… that's a big step." He scratched his head. "At first I thought I was hearing things. Do you really want to do that?"  
  
Seth nodded again, a lot more enthusiastically this time.  
  
Ryan appeared to be pondering hard. On one hand, they had only just got together and if they were going to have a strong relationship they needed to take steps. And this would be more of a leap. But then again, Seth was right; they might not have a chance like this again for a long, long time.  
  
There was also the promise to Mr. And Mrs. Cohen to consider. Ryan knew they would be very disappointed if they knew the two boys did that so quickly.  
  
But what seemed to be the theme of the weekend popped into his head; what happens in Mexico stays in Mexico.  
  
Ryan looked back up at Seth. "I guess we could… It really is kinda the perfect situation too." But then another thought hit Ryan. A big one. "But do you wanna… I mean… One of us has to… and the other…"  
  
Seth reached out to brush a few strand of hair off of Ryan's forehead. Still soft. "You know what? You're kinda cute when you're nervous about asking me or telling me something. Just say it. It's not like you're going to anger me or disgust me or anything."  
  
Ryan mock scowled at Seth. "Don't get smart with me. Just wait till you hear what I'm going to say, you may be changing your tune then."  
  
Seth arranged a few more strands of Ryan's hair before trailing his thumb behind the blonde's ear. "I'm guessing you want to talk about who will give and who will receive."  
  
Ryan smirked. "What is it you always say? You're knocking the wind from my sails?"  
  
"It's took the wind out my sails. If you're going to quote me as a source of mockery, at least quote me correctly."  
  
"Yeah, well, whatever. As you said, one of us does have to give and one does have to receive." Ryan appeared a bit uncomfortable. "And I remember your  
  
adamant aversions to having someone stick something up your ass, so is it safe for me to assume you planned to give?"  
  
Seth was rubbing Ryan earlobe between his thumb and forefinger. "I hadn't thought about that… What do you want to do? I mean… maybe I wouldn't   
  
mind too much… if it was you doing it."  
  
"Liar." Ryan smiled up at him.  
  
"No! No… really. I mean, you say it feels really good. I've never been touched there before. Maybe I will like it." Seth tried to convince Ryan…and himself.  
  
"Well…" Ryan started; keeping his blue eyes locked with Seth's warm brown ones. "Do you want me to give it a try? I'll start with my fingers and if you like that we can keep going. But if you don't like it, or if it is too much for your first time we can stop or switch."  
  
Seth looked nervously back at Ryan. "You're going to put your fingers inside me?"  
  
"Well yeah, you usually start out that way, especially for your first time. You didn't think you just immediately shoved your dick right in, did you? It's really not too much different than when you're with a girl. You need to make sure the other person is ready before you start anything." Ryan explained, nonchalantly, with the air of an expert.  
  
Seth blushed slightly and looked a little embarrassed. "I didn't know that." He said in a small voice. "I've never done either."  
  
Ryan gave a soft smile. "I'm sorry. I forgot. But it's good to know all the same. Does it still sound okay? We don't have to if you don't want to."  
  
Seth absentmindedly played with Ryan's ear for a few more moments. "I want to try it. Let's do it." He pulled away from Ryan. "What do we need?"  
  
Ryan began to sit up as well. "Damn, I forgot about that. I have condoms, but I didn't bring any lube with me. I had no idea we'd be doing this."  
  
Seth burned bright. "I have some."  
  
Ryan smirked. "So, you planned on doing this?"  
  
Seth got even redder. "No!" He exclaimed, but then he got quieter. "I just never go anywhere without it."  
  
"Sounds like the actions of a habitual masturbator." Ryan joked.  
  
"Aw… forget it. I've changed my mind." Seth huffed, looking extremely embarrassed.  
  
Ryan stopped joking and moved closer to Seth, wrapping an arm around his waist. "Oh… come on now Seth. I was just joking. Don't be a baby."  
  
"You aren't helping your case at all by calling me a baby." Seth pouted.  
  
Ryan leaned in and kissed Seth's pout. "Can I call you my baby?"  
  
"Not if you want to live to see 17." Seth grumbled, flustered as always when Ryan was being cute with him.  
  
"No pet names?" Ryan's eyes sparkled with playfulness.  
  
Seth made a sound like a growl. "Are you going to get around to sticking your fingers up my ass anytime soon, or should I just go to bed?"  
  
Vastly amused, Ryan didn't take offense. "Go grab your lube."  
  
Seth did as he was told, rummaging through his bag and bringing Ryan back the large tube.  
  
Ryan looked at the container at the large container of slippery clear liquid and tried not to laugh. He wondered when Seth had had the balls to go in a store and buy it.  
  
"So…" Seth was staring at him apprehensively. "What do we do now?"  
  
Ryan studied Seth for a moment. "Why don't you lie down on your back?" He instructed and watched as Seth obeyed. He remembered with a brief smile the clumsy way Brian and he had started out and tried to keep in mind some of the things they had done to make it easier and more comfortable. "Here." He said, taking a pillow from beside Seth's head and pulling it towards him. "Let's put this under your hips, it'll make everything easier to get to."  
  
Seth looked down at his boxers. "Do you want me to take these off first?"  
  
Ryan nodded. "Might be a good idea."  
  
Seth awkwardly pulled his underwear off and lay back down.  
  
"Lift up." Ryan instructed, indicating the pillow.  
  
Seth lifted his backside up a few inches off the bed and Ryan slid the pillow underneath his hips.  
  
Ryan looked Seth over. The boy was only half hard now, most likely a result of nerves and he looked slightly uncomfortable laying there stark naked with Ryan sitting between his legs, holding the bottle of lube in one hand.  
  
To put Seth at ease, or well, at least to make him lose a little of his nervousness, Ryan put down the bottle of lube and with a light touch began to run his hands over the insides of Seth's thighs.  
  
"Mmm…" Seth murmured.  
  
Ryan continued to move his hands over Seth's flesh, not only his legs, but his hips and stomach, teasing his balls and cock. So that by the time Ryan had finished, Seth was rock hard again. He thought to stop and check one last time with Seth that this was okay, but he knew he would just make him nervous again. So he just pulled the lube bottle to him, opened it up, and coated his three middle fingers on his right hand. He looked to Seth's face then and when the dark haired boy nodded he knew it was time.  
  
Ryan returned his hand to Seth's body, though a little lower than it had been before. He took his slick pointer finger and ran it over Seth's puckered entry. Seth squirmed a little, but didn't make much of a reaction otherwise. Ryan, as slowly and carefully as he could, slid his finger in, penetrating Seth for the first time.  
  
Seth made a reaction that time. A surprised noise uttered from his mouth and it didn't sound like pleasant surprise. Seth squirmed backwards, trying to get away from the intrusion. "Ryan… no… stop… it feels funny."  
  
Ryan didn't pause, but looked up and met Seth's uncomfortable glance. "It's going to feel a little weird at first. Give me a few minutes, it will feel better."  
  
Seth didn't look like he believed him whatsoever. But with a determined air he stopped pulling away. "O… okay."  
  
Ryan slowly continued using his finger to stretch and fuck Seth. The other boy was tight and hot and Ryan was dying to get his dick in there. But not yet… He had to make sure Seth was completely ready and really wanted it before he got his cock anywhere near there. Ryan felt Seth begin to relax a little, instead of being one long ball of tense and he knew he could introduce something new. He crooked his finger upwards and did a little searching. What he was looking for, he knew should be in only as far as his second knuckle and would feel kinda hardish and bumpy. After a moment or two he found it and rubbed it.  
  
"Ooo…" Seth whispered calmly. "Well, that doesn't feel so bad."  
  
Ryan continued to move his finger in an out, around and around, making sure to give Seth's prostate often. He was determined to get more than calm "Ooo" from Seth. The boy was definitely more relaxed now, the slight grimace was gone from his face and whenever Ryan rubbed against his prostate you could see the little spark of pleasure flit across his eyes.  
  
When it no longer felt like his finger's circulation was being cut off, Ryan knew he could add a second. He slid his finger back out and then added his middle finger, sliding the two back in together. He resumed his pattern from before, in and out, around and around, and made sure to give Seth's prostate the attention it deserved.  
  
The addition of the second finger seemed to make a difference to Seth. The little "Ooo's" that had been steadily getting less and less sedate, were now changing into charged "Mmm's" and choppy "Oh…Oh…'s". As Seth started to move around a little on the bed, meeting Ryan's light thrusts, gripping the sheets, and turning his head from side to side, Ryan knew everything was alright. It was when Seth panted "Ryan…" in such an encouraging way that Ryan added a third finger and began all over again.  
  
"Ryan!" And this time when Seth called out his name it wasn't in a throaty aroused way it had been moments before, this time it was panicked.   
  
Ryan pulled himself out of Seth and was looking up at him in under a second. "What's wrong? Did it hurt?"  
  
Seth shook his head no. And from where Ryan sat, he could see the sparkle of light tears perched on Seth's eyelids. Ryan got out from between Seth's legs and went up to lay down next to him. The minute he stretched out, Seth turned to him, burying his face in the crook of Ryan's neck. Slightly awkwardly, Ryan wrapped his arms around Seth and held him close. "You sure I didn't hurt you Seth?" Ryan asked as he ran a hand soothingly down his back.  
  
"Nnoo." Seth's voice quavered a little. "It didn't hurt… it was just…"  
  
"Did it feel good?" Ryan asked softly.  
  
Seth nodded yes against Ryan's chest. "It did feel good, it's just when you added another finger the last time it was…"  
  
"Too much for your first time?" Ryan suggested.  
  
Seth nodded again, his hair tickling Ryan's skin. "It was intense. I felt like I was going to…" He gave a small shutter.  
  
"Shh…" Ryan whispered, his mouth against Seth's ear. "It's okay. Your first time can be like that."  
  
Seth started to relax in Ryan's arms. "Was your first time like that?"  
  
Ryan was glad Seth couldn't see his face right now because he knew he would be going a little pink. "Yeah. Brian and I were each other's firsts and let's put it this way, at least when you were feeling overwhelmed, you let me know and we… well we you know did this." Ryan indicated the two of them embraced. "Brian and I didn't uhm, ever do this. Instead, he ended up with a black eye and I got a bloody nose."  
  
Seth laughed. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to laugh… it's just…"  
  
"If you say anything about us being stereotypical, I'll kick you." But there was laughter in Ryan's voice as well.  
  
"Okay, I won't say anything about macho guys who get black eyes and bloody noses instead of hugs when they feel the slightest twinge of vulnerability." Seth joked, lifting his head completely from Ryan's chest.   
  
"Good, thank you, because I know you wouldn't want to make me angry."  
  
"Oh? Why not?"  
  
Ryan, knowing Seth was feeling better, reached a hand between the boy's legs and gave the still apparent erection a tug. "Because then I might not take care of this for you."  
  
Seth drew in a sharp intake of breath, but then reached for Ryan's own half hard cock and stroked it until it too was standing at full attention. "Then, I won't take care of this either."  
  
With a smile, Ryan planted a kiss on Seth's lips. "I know something that can take care of them both. Something we haven't done yet."  
  
Seth smiled at Ryan. "I do believe I just chickened out of that." But then he paused with a slightly confused look on his face. "Unless you meant like sixty-nining… but like, I've never even given a blowjob, let alone trying to do one while you're blowing me. I'd probably end up biting you or something by accident."  
  
Ryan looked pained for a moment. "Ouch… And no, I didn't mean 69. Though it gives me something to think about." He winked. "You were right the first time." Ryan paused when Seth opened his mouth to disagree. "But! The opposite way. Why don't you fuck me?"  
  
Seth cocked an eyebrow at him. "No."  
  
"No?" Ryan looked shocked.  
  
"Nope, I won't fuck you. Can't do it."  
  
"Why the hell not?"  
  
Seth leaned in and kissed Ryan sweetly. "Because you mean too much to me. I could never fuck you."  
  
Ryan caught on and he rolled his eyes… but he had a slight blush to his cheeks all the same. "Oh… well excuse me Casanova. I should have known better. Could I interest you in making love to me then?" And he said that last part with extreme mockery.  
  
Seth nodded. "Yes, yes you could. But not tonight. Let's have normal, regular old sex tonight. And maybe one day in the near future we can make love."  
  
Ryan burned a little brighter and gave Seth a light shove. "You are such a dork… a fucking cheesy dork."  
  
Seth kissed him again, soft and true, with just the lightest sweep of tongue. "And you love me for it."  
  
Ryan's answer was to kiss back, a little more aggressively, like he was trying to prove something. But then he extracted himself from Seth, removed his boxers, and laid down on his back, placing the pillow underneath his hips.  
  
Seth stifled a laugh and crawled down the bed until he was between Ryan's legs. "Alright, what do I do now?"  
  
Ryan looked over at him, his face cooling. "Just do what I did to you."  
  
And so Seth did. With a little coaching from Ryan and getting over the whole 'I'm about to stick my hand up his ass.' Seth began. Starting with one finger, he stretched and moved and searched for the prostate. By the time Ryan was ready for a second finger Seth had the rhythm down pat and had Ryan writhing on the bed. By the time he added a third finger Ryan was practically begging Seth to enter him.  
  
Seth had assumed they'd do it face to face, as no other possibility had ever really occurred to him. But when Ryan said they were ready, he turned over, getting on his knees, and explained that this would be easier for their first time. So, Seth slipped a condom on and lubed up. He looked uneasy at the situation at hand. But with Ryan's urges, he guided his throbbing erection inside Ryan, going as slow as his will power would allow him to.   
  
And it was a test on his will power. Because this was hot, this was tight; this was everything his dick had ever hoped to be introduced to. He finally ended up all the way in, his dick completely swallowed by Seth's ass. "Fucking shit."  
  
"My thoughts exactly." Ryan moaned. "And I thought that thing was rough on my jaw."  
  
Seth, who had been about to start moving, his hips ready to thrust in a motion that seemed to come naturally, paused. "Does it hurt?"  
  
Ryan moved instead, pulling away a little and the pushing back down. "I won't lie; it does a hurt a little bit. But give me a second to get used to it and I'll be fine." He could still sense Seth's hesitation, so he moved again. "Really, it's okay, you can move."  
  
So Seth did. Slowly at first and then giving into the amazing feelings starting a quicker, harder pace. "Can you… can you cum… cum from… this?" He panted.  
  
"If you can't… there's something… wrong… with you." Ryan panted back.  
  
"No… not me…" Pant pant pant. "You!"  
  
"Ohh…. umph… I… get it now… uh… some people… can… Ooo….other's… can't… I'm… I'm one… one of the… ohh…lucky one's."  
  
The knowledge that he could make Ryan cum by doing this spurred Seth on, he held back his own orgasm, which had been ready for the last minute and doubled his efforts to hit Ryan's prostate with every thrust.  
  
"Seth… fucking shit Seth…" Ryan nearly whimpered.  
  
Seth, his hand still slightly slick, reached around Ryan and grabbed his cock, stroking it along with the rhythm the two of them were making.  
  
This went on for a little while, both boys consumed completely with the task at hand and the sheer pleasure pulsating through their bodies.   
  
When suddenly, Ryan tightened all around Seth and he felt as the dick in his hand bucked and spit, cumming all over the bed in front of them. The increased pressure on his own dick as Ryan clamped his muscles down sent Seth over the edge as well and he felt as he shot wave after wave into Ryan's ass.  
  
With a groan Seth slumped down on top of Ryan as Ryan slumped down on the bed. "Ew." Ryan said as he realized what he just laid down in.   
  
Seth laughed and pulled out slowly. "We need to clean up."  
  
"Ew." Ryan repeated.  
  
Seth pulled on Ryan's arm. "Come on, let's go clean up."  
  
"Ew."  
  
"I think you snapped something in your brain. Come on." Seth kept pulling. "The ew isn't going to stop until you clean up."  
  
Ryan laughed and rolled over, smiling deviously. "Wanna take a shower with me?"  
  
And one wet, slippery half hour (and… not to mention 2 more orgasms) later Ryan and Seth came out of the bathroom, clean, dry, and redressed.  
  
"We're going to have to sleep together after all." Seth mentioned. "Despite Mom and Dad's rules."  
  
"Why's that?" Ryan asked, yawning and leaning into Seth's side.  
  
"Because you came all over the bed you had been sleeping in and unless you want to sleep in it, you're just going to have to sleep with me." Seth explained, throwing an arm around Ryan and leading him towards the clean bed.  
  
"I think you should sleep in the dirty bed." Ryan said with another yawn, letting Seth guide him. "It was your fault that I came on it."  
  
"True." And Seth's voice sounded a little prideful. "Well, how about we compromise and neither of us sleep on it?" Seth gave Ryan a light push and he fell back on the clean bed.  
  
Ryan grabbed hold of him and he pulled him down as well. "Okay."  
  
The two boys crawled under the covers and into each other's arms. They kissed lightly goodnight before putting their heads on a pillow and closing their eyes.  
  
"Love ya Ryan." Seth said sleepily.  
  
"Love ya too Seth."  
  
And they both fell asleep.  
  
*So, I was going to have Summer, using her key, walk in on them the next morning. But, as I already did a someone walking in on them scene, and unless I wanted to make it a theme… But all sorts of cool thoughts about what that would be like came to me. Summer with her "Ew's!", Seth with his babbled excuses, and Ryan… well Ryan broodingly watching it all. Maybe someone else will write it, cause I'd love to read it.* 


	3. Part 3

Title: Love in Dispute, Part 3  
  
Rating: Pg-13 for adult language and content  
  
Disclaimer: They Belong to FOX, not me.   
  
Spoilers: Up to The Escape, though my versions of what happened in TJ differ a tad…   
  
Description: Just a continuation of before. Still sappy and cheesy. No crying this time though, thought I'd try something new. Thanks to kellyerielf, Tori, and SHMILY from fanfiction.net for their ideas and encouragment to write another part.   
  
Ryan woke up the next morning to find that they had moved in the night.   
  
They were no longer snug in each other's arms, but now Seth was flat on his back, legs spread, with one arm over his head and the other around Ryan who was using Seth's chest as a pillow, curled up on his side. Ryan extracted himself from Seth and sat up in bed. His motions did not wake the other boy; Seth just draped his arm around his waist instead and continued to sleep on, his mouth slightly open and a small trickle of drool on his chin. Ryan rolled his eyes, but couldn't have kept the smile off his face if he tried. Ryan rubbed the feeling back into his ear and cheek (Seth's chest wasn't exactly the softest pillow) and got off the bed before he did something rude, like wake Seth up to fool around some more. But he knew Summer would be meeting them sometime this morning and they needed to clean up their mess before she arrived. So instead, he headed into the bathroom, where he took a quick shower and got dressed for the day, before heading out of the hotel room and around the block to pick up some breakfast for the three of them. He was hoping Seth would be awake when he got back, so they could strip the bed they hadn't slept in before Summer arrived. After Ryan ordered food, coffee, and juice, he waited in the restaurant lobby, a blank half smile on his face as his thoughts drifted to last nights activities.  
  
***  
  
Summer, having got up a lot earlier than she normally liked to when on vacation, walked the 3 blocks from where her friends' hotel was to the one Ryan and Seth were in. The rest of her night had been exhausting, on the phone with Marissa for hours, trying to calm her down after she found out the truth about Luke. Even when they had finally hung up, Summer hadn't liked what she heard in Marissa's voice and knew it would just be for the best if they got home as soon as possible. As she reached the hotel, she walked up to their room and used her key to let herself in.  
  
The main room was empty, but she could hear the shower running in the bathroom and both beds had obviously been slept in, as they were all   
  
Torn apart, bedding all over the place.   
  
"It smells funny in here." Summer muttered to herself, wrinkling up her cute little button nose. She used her high heal sandal to kick aside a pair of boxers that had been carelessly discarded the night before. She gave another little sniff. "What is that?"  
  
Summer continued to wander around the room, kicking aside clothes that littered the floor and stepping over random bedding that was hanging off the beds. It was when she got to the bed that was farther away from the front door that she actually took a closer look. Something was stained on the white sheets and that familiar, yet indefinable smell was stronger on this side of the room.   
  
Summer looked over at the stained sheets and sniffed a third time, realization dawning on her face. Her first reaction was to smirk.   
  
"Someone got lucky last night." But then she took a second to think about it. Which one of them was it? It didn't make much sense to her. Seth wasn't the type to meet a girl and take her home for sex... plus, he liked her... right? He was like supposed to be... like in love with her... or something. And then if it was Ryan... true, she could definitely see him bringing a girl home for a one night stand more than Seth, but he obviously had a thing for Marissa. And after the whole fiasco at Caleb's party, she couldn't picture him wanting to get even farther into Marissa's bad graces by doing it again. Unless... unless he had given up, finally conceding to the fact that Marissa and Luke were together. Except he was there last night when they caught Luke with Holly... so wouldn't that show him that he now had more of a chance, because Marissa would certainly part ways with Luke after something like that. Neither made any sense what so ever. And...if the one did hook up with someone, what did the other do? Put a pillow over their head and try to ignore the fact that two people were having sex in the other bed? Or did he just stay out until the other was done? This didn't make sense either, because Summer would place all the money she had on the fact that it wasn't Seth who had gotten some last night. But she also was fairly confident that there was no way Ryan would have let Seth roam around Tijuana on his own. She had noticed Chino was a bit protective of Cohen. Truth be told, Ryan was usually like the boy's shadow in any situation he deemed over Seth's head.   
  
And... and... where were they? The car was still out front. Someone was in the shower, yes, but where were the other 2? Or, if whichever boy had gotten lucky was in there with the girl, where was the other guy? Summer was tired and a little cranky and didn't want a puzzle like this to figure out right now. She wanted some answers. And she wanted them now.  
  
And like Summer always did, she got her wish. Just as she was about to sit down, she heard the shower turn off and Seth's voice call out. "Hey, I heard you get back. Where'd ya go? I woke up and you were gone. I was hoping we could have repeated a little of last nights action before we left." So it had been Seth. Summer was in mild shock. And obviously the girl had snuck out when Seth was asleep. Poor Seth, she must have woke up and realized what she had done and fled. So that explained half the quandary. Now where was Ryan?  
  
Seth strolled out of the bathroom with a pair of jeans and a tee-shirt on and another hanging over his head, as he dried his hair. "So what do you think, do we have time for a quickie before Summer gets here for breakfast?"  
  
"No, I don't think you do." Summer said coolly, giving Seth her famous ice queen look.  
  
Seth slowly lowered the towel from his head. "You aren't Ryan."  
  
The impact of that simple sentence hadn't hit Summer yet. "Not the last   
  
time that I checked."  
  
"Uh... what I mean..." Seth was scrambling for some way to cover up   
  
what he had just said. "I meant you aren't..."  
  
But he was saved from having to come up with some ridiculous story temporarily as the front door swung open again and Ryan walked in, his face obstructed by three styrofoam carry out containers and a large drink holder all balance precariously on top of one another. "Hey Seth, I'm back. I've got breakfast, but we better clean up our mess on the bed from last night before Summer gets here."  
  
And then it came together for Summer. When Seth had come out of the shower asking for the 'quickie' and saw it was her, he hadn't said 'You aren't insert random female name here.' He had said 'You aren't Ryan.' And Ryan had definitely just said we need to clean up 'our' mess on the bed from last night. There was no girl. For either of them. Seth had been asking for that quickie from Ryan. Ryan and Seth 'had' made that mess on the bed.  
  
Ryan and Seth had sex last night.  
  
As if she wanted to make sure she had really saw what she had seen on   
  
The bed, Summer wandered over there again. She looked down at the bed once more. "Ew."  
  
Ryan, who had sort of froze when Seth hadn't answered him and he sensed   
  
That there were more people in the room, now was putting down the take out containers on a table. Ryan realized he had just given the two of them away and was searching his mind for a way to rectify the situation.   
  
Absolutely nothing came to him, so he kept his mouth shut; sinking into a chair next to the table he had placed the food.  
  
"Ew." Summer repeated, still looking over the dirty bed. "Men are slobs.  
  
Don't tell me one of you slept in this last night."  
  
"No, we both slept in..." Seth trailed off, realizing what he been about to say.  
  
Summer smirked at that. "Caught ya."  
  
Seth blushed bright red. "Caught us at what? I mean caught me at what?   
  
What are you talking about? I think you've been out in the Mexican sun to long; you're obviously having hallucinations or something. You should sit down; I'll get you a glass of water."  
  
"Can it Cohen. I am not having hallucinations. I'm not imagining the guilty looks on your faces or the cum on those sheets. And once again, for the record, ew." She turned to Ryan. "You couldn't have cleaned that up before you went to get breakfast? You'd think you two wanted to get caught."  
  
"I didn't want to wake Seth." Ryan mumbled in a gruff voice.  
  
"Bet you didn't, did you give the poor boy a hard night?" Summer teased.  
  
Ryan glared at her.  
  
"Listen Summer, I don't know what your insinuating, but whatever it is, you are way off the mark." Seth insisted. He knew he had told Ryan last night that he didn't want to have to hide it. But there was no way they first person he had planned on telling was Summer. Not with her pen chance for gossip.  
  
"Way off the mark am I? So you and Ryan weren't having sex in here last night?" Summer stood staring him down, her one hand on her slightly thrust out hip, her head angled a fraction to the side.  
  
Seth moved over and sat down on the clean bed. He shot a nervous look over at Ryan, who shot his own half nervous, half angry look back. Seth knew Ryan wasn't angry at him, but at the situation.  
  
Summer rolled her eyes at the two of them. "First things first. You need to clean up that bed." She shot it what she planned as her last look and gave a little shutter. "Ew... it smells."  
  
The two boys just kind of looked at her.  
  
"Alright then, come on." She clapped her hands at them. "Chop, chop."  
  
Seth sprang up off the bed and Ryan slowly raised himself from the chair. Both going over to the bed and starting to strip it of the sheets and blankets. Summer in the meantime took Ryan's seat at the small table. She watched as the two boys shoved the dirtied items into a laundry bag and then hid it in a closet. They both turned to her when they were done, as if looking for approval or praise.  
  
"Very good. Now, on to the second thing." She gestured towards the table. "Now that there isn't that unsightly mess and smell to ruin our appetites, why don't we have breakfast?"  
  
This time Ryan and Seth shot each other confused looks. But slowly, cautiously, they sat around the small table with Summer.  
  
"So Ryan, what did you get?" Summer asked, her voice naturally pleasant.  
  
Ryan was still looking at her like someone eyes a snake they expect is going to strike any moment. "One is scrambled eggs and toast, one is pancakes and sausage, and the third is french toast and bacon. I know Seth and I will eat anything, so you have first choice." His voice was on the hard side, precise and as wary as the look on his face.  
  
"I'll take the eggs and toast then, if you don't mind." Summer said, grabbing the container Ryan had pointed at while listing them off and looked at each boy to make sure they wouldn't object.  
  
Both just nodded at her silently. When they saw that she was opening the container and beginning to eat, also grabbing one of the small plastic cups of juice and a larger styrofoam cup of coffee, they did the same as well. Seth grabbing the pancakes and Ryan the french toast.  
  
They ate in silence for a few moments, before Summer spoke up again.   
  
"So, are you two like a couple? Or do you just fool around when there's no girls available?"  
  
Seth spit out his mouth full of pancakes and Ryan knocked over his half drank glass of juice.  
  
Summer rolled her eyes at them again. "Slobs. Men are slobs." And she handed them both some extra napkins.  
  
Ryan quickly mopped up the juice before it could drip on the floor and   
  
Seth cleaned up the pancake that had sprayed on the table.  
  
"Well?" Summer pressed, after the second clean up of the morning had been completed and she still hadn't been answered.  
  
"Summer..." Seth's voice was strained. "Do we need to talk about this?"  
  
"What?" Summer looked a little hurt. "I was just interested."  
  
Seth sighed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound rude. It's just... this is kinda... awkward."  
  
"Why?" Summer looked at him questioningly. "Because I saw what was on the bed? Don't stress about it. I'm used to it. I've seen it before."  
  
Seth made an exasperated noise. "No!" He couldn't believe how nonchalantly she was talking about this. "But because you know... you think that we're..."  
  
"That I know that you've had sex? That I think that you're together?"   
  
Summer filled in for him. "What's so awkward about that?"  
  
"Summer, this is kind of new for us. We hadn't planned on any of our friends finding out so soon." Ryan finally spoke up, using his dead voice.  
  
Summer gave them both a sympathetic look, which surprised them. "I see.   
  
I probably have the two of you shaking in your boots, don't I? Am I the first one to find out?"  
  
Ryan shook his head. "His parents know."  
  
Summer turned her gaze specifically to Seth now. "Shit. How'd they take it?"  
  
"Better than we would have expected." Seth mumbled, still slightly mortified.  
  
Summer sat back and looked thoughtfully at both of them. "So you two are together? Like a couple?"  
  
They both nodded grimly.  
  
Summer gave a small twitter of a nervous laugh. "Well, neither of you   
  
Seem very happy about it."  
  
Seth looked down at his half eaten breakfast and poked at some of the sausage with his plastic fork. "Like Ryan said, we hadn't planned on any of our friends finding out so soon. We're still kinda new at this, it's a little..." Seth shot a look at Ryan as if to ask him what adjective he should use here.  
  
"New." Ryan dead panned, finishing for Seth.  
  
Summer smiled. "You guys are probably nervous about how everyone is   
  
going to take it, huh?"  
  
They nodded in unison again.  
  
"We weren't even 100% sure we were going to tell anyone. We were thinking we might keep it a secret." Ryan looked sideways at Seth and felt as the boy reached under the small table and gave his knee a reassuring squeeze. Ryan gave his first smile since Summer had entered the room.  
  
"You see, we know we aren't the most popular two people in town and we really didn't want to supply anyone with more ammo to use against us."   
  
Seth offered, sheepishly.  
  
"Ahhh..." Summer nodded her head. "And am I guessing right in thinking as the three of us aren't exactly close and personal that you think I'm going to go and tell certain anyones all about this?"  
  
"It has crossed our minds." Ryan said flatly.  
  
Summer sat for a moment, munching on her last bit of toast. "Well guys, rest assured. Your secret is safe with me. I won't even tell Marissa. Though..." She turned to face Ryan. "I think you better get around to telling her at some point. Before she gets over Luke and on to you."  
  
Ryan paled a slight bit, but nodded in agreement.  
  
Summer now turned to Seth. "And you! I guess I don't have your advances to look forward to anymore, hmm?"  
  
Seth blushed bright pink again. "I... I..."  
  
"Unless you were going to do something cheesy, like still hit on me so no one would ever guess you were with Ryan." Summer said, raising her eyebrows at him.  
  
Seth went from pink to maroon.   
  
"Thought so." Summer smirked. "Well, it is cheesy, but a sound plan none the less. If you are really serious about no one finding out about the two of you, we can set something up. You know, let people in school see you flirting with me in the hallway or at lunch. And once Marissa is brought up to speed on it all, we can go on double dates and all." And just as Seth and Ryan were completely amazed at how out of character this was for Summer, she said. "As long as it doesn't interfere with my social life, of course."  
  
Both Ryan and Seth smiled then. "Thanks Summer. Really, we totally appreciate it. And I don't want to sound ungrateful or anything." Seth gave her an apologetic look. "But why are you being so nice to us all the sudden?"  
  
Summer gave them a look like she was thinking hard. "Listen, you can't repeat this to anyone. But, my favorite Uncle Andy, he's gay. And he's never had all that easy a time in life because of it. I don't want the same things to happen to you two. I know we aren't uber close, but we are friends, right? And I'd never want to see anyone hurt the way my Uncle Andy's been hurt. You understand?"  
  
With sympathetic looks on their faces and a touch of nervousness in their hearts, they both nodded. "Thanks again Summer." Ryan said, his voice finally losing all of the cold tone he had been using most of the morning.  
  
"Yeah, thanks so much Summer." Seth agreed.  
  
Summer's cheeks were tinged a little pink. It was very attractive on her actually. "Aww, forget about it! Come on, let's get packed up. I want to get home and check on Marissa."  
  
So they did. They packed everything up and loaded the SUV. Summer offered to drive, if the two of them wanted to make out in the backseat for the ride home. And as tempting as that was, they told her no thanks, and she took the back seat so she could make up for some of the sleep she had lost last night on the phone with Marissa. Ryan kept Seth company as he drove, adding a word in here and there to Seth's non stop chit chat (whispered of course, as not to wake Summer). And when they were on a long stretch of straight highway, Seth even let Ryan take his hand and they drove like until Summer woke up for a spell and seeing it, giggled at them, causing them to pull apart in embarrassment.   
  
And they made it home. They dropped Summer off, both giving her hugs and whispered thanks, before heading to their house. They dropped off   
  
Ryan's stuff in the pool house and then on a mutual decision, went up to the main house to tell Mr. and Mrs. Cohen the news.  
  
"Mom? Dad?" Seth called out as they walked in though the kitchen entrance.  
  
"In here Seth." Mrs. Cohen's voice called out from the living room. She sounded... tired or...  
  
"Mom, Dad, we've got some good news for you." Seth looked at Ryan and smiled. Ryan took the boy's hand in his. "Well, we think it's pretty good news."  
  
They entered the living room and found Mr. and Mrs. Cohen sitting side by side on the couch, both looking tired and worried.  
  
Seth looked down at his watch. They weren't late; it wasn't even dinner time yet. Maybe it wasn't the time; maybe they had been worried about finding out what the two boys had decided. He started talking, treading softly. "Mom, Dad. Ryan and I have decided to be together. Now, we're going to respect your wishes and follow all those rules, so don't worry." He paused looking at how upset the two of them still looked. "Did you change your mind? Are you not happy about this now?"  
  
Sandy and Kirsten both perked their heads up a little, as if they had only really been half listening. "No! No boys... really, we're very happy for you." Kirsten said in a voice that showed the signs of forced happiness.  
  
"And we know you boys will respect our rules." Sandy added, not even trying to sound happy. "Boys... we just have some bad news. And we don't know how to tell you. Right after your trip and this big news and all..."  
  
Seth grasped Ryan's hand a little tighter. Ryan squeezed his right back. "Is someone... Has someone died?" Seth asked, just realizing the only time he had ever seen that look on his mother's face had been when he was very young and his grandmother had died. "Is it grandpa?" His voice shook a little and Ryan squeezed his hand again.  
  
"No... no..." Sandy said, but he wasn't saying no as if Seth had been all that off the mark. "Boys, maybe you better sit down."  
  
So they did, sitting next to each other on the other couch, hands still clamped tight.  
  
Kirsten gave a sad smile looking at the two of them. In times like this, she and Sandy often sat like that, thigh to thigh, holding on to each other for support. "Boys, its Marissa. She OD'd last night. They're not sure she's going to make it."  
  
To be continued... once the show is. 


	4. Part 4

Love In Dispute Part 4  
  
"What do you mean you're taking her to the movies tonight?"  
  
"I thought that statement was pretty self explanatory."  
  
"Oh! Don't you get fucking smart with me now! We had plans! You can't just blow them off like that!"  
  
"Plans? What plans do we have?"  
  
"Don't even try that cute confused look on me. It's not working this time."  
  
"I'm not using a look on you! Shit! I hate when you accuse me of that! Listen, I honestly didn't know we had plans. I must have forgotten that we planned something. What were they? I mean if it's really something that's important to you, I can tell her we need to reschedule for another night."  
  
"Whether it's important to me or not? That's going to be your deciding factor? News flash, all of our time together is important to me. I used to think it was important to you too."  
  
"Don't pull that shit. You know it's important to me."  
  
"Could've fooled me. It's been weeks since we've spent anytime together. You spend every waking moment that isn't at school or work with her."  
  
"She needs me right now. Why has that been so hard for you to understand?"  
  
"I do understand it. Really, I do. But I think you're going above and beyond the call of duty here. You haven't spent time on anything else."  
  
"Hey, I'm sorry if you're jealous. But it can't be helped. When she's feeling better, I'll be able to spend more time with you again."  
  
"Dammit! This isn't just about me and you! How about the stack of homework you have sitting over there that you haven't even glanced at yet? Does spending time taking care of your distraught little girl also include fucking up in school? We have a test Monday; I've been studying for a week. How many hours have you put in?"  
  
"A few. Don't roll your fucking eyes at me! I have studied! What, do you want to fucking test me and see?!? I study on my breaks at work! I study when I get home at night!"  
  
"You expect me to believe that after you sneak home from being out at all hours every night, you don't go right to bed, you actually study?"  
  
"Yes, I do expect you to believe me, because I've never freakin' lied to you before, why the hell would I start now? And you know I don't want to mess this up. You know I want to do well at school. I study all the fucking time and half of that homework is done. Think about it, have I ever not had it to hand in when it was collected in class? Have I failed anything since school started?"  
  
"I don't know; we don't have every class together."  
  
"The fucking holier than thou tone you are taking with me is really starting to grate on my nerves! I get the fact that you aren't happy that I haven't had much time for you lately, but I don't know how you convinced yourself you had the right to pry into my life like this, lecturing me about school? It's none of your business."  
  
"None of my business? None of my business? I'm prying into your life? Well excuse me! And I was standing here under the assumption that I was your boyfriend. I guess I was wrong. Because if I'm not even allowed to be concerned about you and your life, than we can't possibly be all that involved!"  
  
"Fuck you, that was low! Why don't you tell me what these plans were, so at least I can know what it is I'm blowing off, that started this whole big fight!"  
  
"That's not the important part! I asked you this morning if you wanted to go to the mall to pick up the new Baldar's Gate game. That was it. No anniversary dinner or anything. The thing is, you once again forgot me and made plans with her. I don't even know why I'm upset. I should be all too used to it by now. oh don't look all hurt. It's true! You know what I bet. I bet you haven't even told her the truth yet, have you. I bet she has no idea about the two of us. Well? Have you told her yet?"  
  
"No, I haven't, not yet. and fuck off, don't you dare look so outraged at me! She just got out of the fucking hospital!"  
  
"That was 2 weeks ago!"  
  
"And she's no better now than she was then!"  
  
"Yeah, and I'm sure leading her on like this is really going to help! Especially in the long run!"  
  
"I'm not leading her on! I'm just being her friend!"  
  
"Yeah. a really close friend. Yeah, go ahead; look nervous, I'll let you justify that reaction! Because I've seen the two of you, the hugs, the little kisses on the cheek, the snuggles! I've seen what a close friend you're being to her! I'm glad you're trying to make her all better! And you may have not noticed, because you're fucking never here, but we just keep getting worse and worse!"  
  
And on that note Seth slammed the door to the pool house, leaving a shocked and irate Ryan standing near the bed. That had been their first fight as a couple. Though there probably would have been one sooner if, as Seth had mentioned, Ryan was around more. But Ryan couldn't help it. From the minute Mr. And Mrs. Cohen had told them about Marissa, Ryan had been by her side, helping her through everything; her parents divorce, Luke and Holly's betrayal, and the back lash and gossip from all the kids at school when they found out what she had done. She needed someone who understood, someone who wouldn't judge, and Ryan was the best one for her at the moment. So he did everything he could for her. Even if that meant blowing off some homework, or studying into the wee hours of the morning so that he could stay with Marissa until her curfew. And the last thing she needed was another shock in her life after all she had been through.  
  
So he hadn't told her about his relationship with Seth.  
  
He couldn't.  
  
Not now.  
  
Ryan fell back onto his bed and fought the slightly nauseous feeling he had. He knew he was treating Seth like shit at the moment. He spent all his time with Marissa because she needed him, he almost ignored Seth at school because he was afraid some of his feelings would show through and then not only would Marissa know the truth, but everyone else as well. But he was relying on the fact that Seth loved him and would keep loving him through anything. Once Marissa was feeling a little better, once her out look on life was a little brighter, than he would tell her the truth. Then Ryan would tell her that she didn't have a chance with him. Than he would tell her his heart belonged to Seth. Hopefully it wouldn't all blow up in his face.  
  
Ryan rolled off the bed and headed towards his bathroom. He needed to shower and change before he picked up Marissa for the movie.  
  
***  
  
Seth had run back into the house and up into his room, slamming the door. He couldn't take this anymore. He could barely fathom what Ryan was doing to him. After their big discussion in Tijuana about giving up the girls and being true to each other. After the moments they had shared together. He couldn't believe Ryan was now completely avoiding him and bestowing all of his attention on Marissa. Marissa! Seth knew he should have never believed all of that bull shit Ryan had said about not pursuing her further, that he was finished with her, and that he was in love with him. It was obvious now that all of that romantic bullshit Ryan had spewed in Mexico was just to get him in bed. Seth had been played and he knew it.  
  
Seth felt extremely stupid. He had fallen hook, line, and sinker for Ryan's charms. Hell he had fallen in love. And it had all just been a game. He tried to convince himself it didn't matter. He tried to tell himself that now he had more time to pursue Summer. But he couldn't. Nothing he said to himself mattered. He was in love with Ryan. And Ryan had just broken his heart.  
  
Seth was just about to turn on his stereo and climb into bed to mourn with a dozen or so comic books when there was a knock on his door. He paused, could it be Ryan? Was he coming to apologize?  
  
"Come in." Seth called out coolly.  
  
The door swung open slowly and his mother peered her head in hesitantly. "Hi Seth."  
  
"Hey mom." He responded, his hopes having fallen farther down than before. "What's up?  
  
Kirsten walked further in and took a seat on Seth's computer chair. "I just heard you come in and then when you slammed the door I. well. I guess your plans for the mall fall through?"  
  
Seth fell back on his bed, moaning once before pulling himself back up into a sitting position. "Ryan's to busy to go to the mall. He's got a date with Marissa. He's taking her to the movies."  
  
Kirsten held back a sigh. This had been exactly what she was afraid of when Seth and Ryan got together. As soon as school started, Ryan would see what he was missing with the other kids and he'd leave Seth behind. But a little nagging voice in the back of her head (she liked to call it Sandy2) told her that wasn't the truth. Ryan was helping Marissa. That's all it was. "Well honey. He's been trying to help her get through this hard time. I bet it isn't a date. He's just spending time with her to help her feel better."  
  
Seth turned a mildly outraged face towards his mother. "Why are you defending him?" He pouted. "You're my mom, be on my side!"  
  
Kirsten smiled softly. "What do you want me to say? He's a slime ball for leaving you home alone again and that you should dump his lousy butt?"  
  
Seth broke into a huge grin at his mother's slightly outdated choice of words. He knew she was just trying to cheer him up. "Yes! Exactly!"  
  
Kirsten moved from the chair to the bed so that she was sitting next to her son. "You're just like me, you know that?" She put an arm around him. "We both jump to the worst conclusions first, before considering anything else."  
  
Seth leaned against his mother and pouted again. "Do not."  
  
She smiled and kissed the top of his head. "We both have to stop for a moment and think. Would Ryan really cheat on you? If he was cheating, would he really let you know about everything he was doing with Marissa? Wouldn't he be trying to hide it from you? And also, what if the situation was reversed and Ryan was dating Marissa, and you were the one who needed him? What do you think he'd do then?"  
  
"Ryan would be with me 24/7 instead of her." Seth admitted, begrudgingly. "That doesn't prove anything."  
  
"True, except that he's a very loyal friend." Kirsten nodded, pulling him closer to her. "But has Ryan ever given us a reason not to trust him?"  
  
"He stole a car, burned down your house, took me to my first party where I got drunk underage, fought with Luke numerous times, kissed your son with out your permission." Seth looked up at his mother. "Tell me when you want me to stop."  
  
Kirsten sighed out loud this time. "All unrelated incidents Seth." She kissed him on top of the head again. "Listen sweetie. I want to be mad at him as much as you do. But we know the truth. He may get into scrapes more often than your average person, but when it comes to something like this; it's just not in Ryan's nature to cheat on you. He's just being a friend to Marissa. And maybe he's going a little too far, being a little too protective, and leaving you alone a little too much, but his heart really is in the right place. And I think we need to give him a little leeway."  
  
Seth sighed in irritation as a response.  
  
"Am I right in guessing you two just had a fight and that's why you stormed up here?"  
  
Seth nodded.  
  
"And am I also correct in guessing you feel a little bad now because you might have said a few things to Ryan that maybe you shouldn't have?"  
  
What Seth was beginning to regret right now was being so close to his mother, because she knew him to well. He gave her a scowl to which she responded to with a soft smile. No, forget that, he didn't mean it, it could be annoying, but it also could be a pretty useful thing sometimes. He nodded again.  
  
Kirsten gave him one last squeeze and stood up. "Ryan promised dad he'd be home right after the movie tonight."  
  
Seth gave his mother a confused look.  
  
Kirsten looked a little guilty. "He asked your father permission to go, like he does every time he goes out. Unfortunately, you had asked me about the mall this morning and I hadn't mentioned it to Sandy yet. Otherwise he would have reminded Ryan about the mall. But when Ryan asked, your father made him promise promised to be in early tonight and from now on, as we had noticed he has been out increasingly late as of recent."  
  
"You and Dad knew how late he had been staying out?"  
  
Kirsten nodded.  
  
"And he's not grounded or anything?"  
  
Kirsten sighed again. "He should be, but as we never set a curfew, he technically wasn't breaking it so. There's one set now, same as yours. So if it happens again, he'll be grounded then. We talked to him about it tonight after dinner while you were doing the dishes."  
  
Seth nodded again, wondering how he had missed all of this, how his parents had known how late Ryan was coming in every night, and why his mother had half pretended to just find out about the ruined plans for the mall when she had come first into his room. She had probably wanted the two of them to work it out of their own. And when she learned that Ryan had made other plans after having made plans with Seth, she had probably wanted to step in and reprimand or maybe just remind Ryan like a mother would do. But there was a small quandary there. She wasn't just Ryan's adopted mother; she was also the mother of Ryan's boyfriend. For the latter, she probably felt she shouldn't interfere. Stepping in between her birth son and her adopted son was one thing. Stepping in between her birth son and her birth son's boyfriend was a whole different tale.  
  
"Well, what I was getting to, is that Ryan will be home early tonight, so why don't you think over what the two of you may have said to each other and maybe what should have been said in it's place. So, you can wait for him to get home and then the two of you can have a nice little talk. I'll even let you stay out there a little later tonight. How does 1 o'clock sound?" Kirsten smiled generously at her son.  
  
"For real?" Seth eyes brightened.  
  
"For real." Kirsten answered, not at all sure of what she had just said.  
  
Seth gave her a big hug and she left him to his thinking.  
  
Seth lay back down on the bed and started to think over his conversation with Ryan. What had he said? And how should he have said it?  
  
***  
  
Seth waited until 10 o'clock, when he knew that Ryan would be home from the movie any minute as it had gotten out at quarter to ten, and made his way down to the pool house. He seated himself on the bed and waited for his boyfriend to get home. He ended up waiting longer than he had expected for someone who had promised to be home right after the movie.  
  
At 10:25 he finally heard some movement right outside and perked up. At least until he heard the voices.  
  
"Why do we have to come back here? Can't we go to the pier? Or my dad's apartment? He's not home tonight." Seth heard Marissa's voice faintly through the thin doors.  
  
"I promised the Cohen's I'd be home right after the movie tonight. They noticed how late I've been staying out and finally enforced a curfew. "Ryan's voice could be heard softly as well.  
  
"And the curfew is ten o'clock on a Friday night?" Even from a distance Marissa sounded amazed. "I thought my mom was bad. That's just cruel."  
  
"No. They just asked that I be home early tonight. I guess it is kinda a punishment. Not that the Cohen's could never be described as cruel though. They're actually pretty fucking awesome to me. They took me in and all. Gave me a place to live. Speaking of which, you shouldn't knock having to hang out in my pool house. It's not so bad. It's pretty comfortable... private." And there was something in the way Ryan said private that Seth didn't like. He said it like for some reason there was a need for privacy.  
  
"Do you have a bed in there?" And to Seth's ears it just went from bad to worse.  
  
"Of course. What did you think? I slept on a pool float?" The voices were getting closer.  
  
Seth's skin crawled when he heard Marissa's innocuous giggle. Even the girl's laugh was bland.  
  
"Of course I didn't. well I guess I didn't really think about it. Are you gonna show me around? You've seen my room enough times, I've never seen yours. I bet my bed is more comfortable." Seth really wished they'd stop talking about beds.  
  
"I don't know. Wait until you try mine, the thing's pretty sweet."  
  
Seth was starting to feel nauseous from the tone of their voices; Marissa with her insipid little girl voice and Ryan. Ryan who was speaking with this voice so unlike his normal one. It sounded so cheery and fake. It was indeed making Seth sick. Why had Ryan been on her bed? Why was Marissa going to try out Ryan's? Seth had the sudden feeling he should get out of there and get out of there quick. But he needed to see what was going on. He knew any second Marissa and Ryan would come in and be surprised to see him there. And Seth didn't want that, but there was just something about the way they were talking to each other that seemed to be confirming Seth's worst fears about Ryan cheating on him with Marissa. So he stayed and hid behind the counter top, hoping to God he was wrong.  
  
The door finally swung open and the two walked in. Seth could see everything from where he was crouched, but knew they couldn't see him. Marissa was clinging to Ryan who had his arm wrapped securely around her. They walked over to the bed and Seth's heart sank as he watched Ryan lower her gently to it. The minute she was on her back, she reached her arms up and wrapped them around Ryan's neck, pulling him dangerously close. As soon as they were face to face, she kissed him deep and hard, forcing her tongue into his mouth.  
  
And that was more than enough for Seth. He sprang from his hiding space and pointed an accusatory finger at Ryan. "I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW IT!!! And mom said I should trust you, said I should come down here and wait for you, because you were such a good boy and you would never be cheating on me!!! WELL FUCK THAT!!!"  
  
Seth bounded towards the door, ignoring the shocked faces, ignoring how Ryan bounded up off the bed, pushing Marissa away. "It's over Ryan! You aren't fooling me any more! If you just wanted someone to fool around with, something like you had with your Brian in Chino, you should have looked elsewhere! Because I'm not going to be your little fuck toy anymore! I hope you're happy with Marissa, I hope she can be everything to you that I was, because I'm never fucking talking to you EVER AGAIN!!!"  
  
"Seth." Ryan finally spoke, panic flooding his whole face. His voice choked and strained.  
  
"DON'T BOTHER!!! It's over!!! We're breaking up!!! NOT THAT THIS WAS EVER A REAL RELATIONSHIP TO END!!!"  
  
"Seth." Ryan tried again, sounding even worse than before.  
  
"FUCK YOU! I'm dumping you! Not that you'll actually fucking care now that you finally have Marissa!!! I was obviously just a big joke to you! A GAME! I HATE YOU RYAN ATWOOD!!!" Seth gave the two one last disdainful look. "I hate you."  
  
And he stormed from the pool house, leaving the other two in stunned shock as he ran for the main house. 


	5. Part 5

Love in Dispute, Part 5  
  
"What the hell did he mean Ryan?" Marissa gained the power of speech quicker than Ryan. Which was surprising, as 5minutes ago she had been as drunk as a lord, but it seemed Seth's speech had sobered her up rather fast. "What did he mean? He's dumping you? You're breaking up? You're cheating on him? What the hell did that all that mean?"  
  
Ryan sank back down onto the bed and looked over at her. "I meant to tell you. Really I did. I was just waiting until you felt better. I really was going to tell you."  
  
Marissa glared back at him, ignoring the defeated, depressed look on his face. "And what exactly were you waiting to tell me?"  
  
Ryan really didn't want to be here explaining this to her right now. He wanted to be going after Seth. He wanted to try and explain to Seth that what he saw wasn't. Not that it would matter now. Seth was furious; there was no way he was going to listen to him. Or believe him for that matter. So Ryan supposed Marissa would be the one getting her answers. "Seth and I. Seth and I are together."  
  
"Together?" She spit back at him. "Together like how?"  
  
Ryan drew away from the anger he saw in Marissa. He dropped his gaze down to his hands. "Like dating. Like boyfriends. Like in love." He bit a suddenly trembling lower lip. "At least we were until 2 minutes ago."  
  
And then there was silence. Ryan assumed she was in shock. But when he felt the bed move and realized she had stood up, he raised his head to watch her and try to gauge her reaction.  
  
Marissa's reaction was to reach for her cell phone. Ryan listened to the faint ringing for a few seconds before Marissa began to talk. "Summer? *pause* Where are you? *pause* Jessica's? *pause* Perfect, that's only one block over. I'm with Ryan and you have to come and pick me up like now!*pause* What did he do? What did he do? Oh just wait till you hear what he did and with who he did it with! *pause* What do you mean is this about him and Seth? *pause* No I will not shush! *pause* I don't give a shit if everyone at Jessica's hears about it! And anyway, how do you already know about them? *pause* Fine, go outside, I'll wait. *pause* No, no one thought to tell me! *pause* To spare my feelings? Why would waiting make it any better? No matter what at some point I have to find out that the guy I like is a queer! *pause* What do you mean I shouldn't use that word?!? *pause* I really don't care if I hurt his feelings! *pause* Oh just forget it Summer! Just come get me and we can talk about it then! *pause* Thank you!! Finally! I'll be waiting in the driveway!"  
  
Ryan didn't want to move, he wanted to just let Marissa run from the pool house and then never have to face this situation ever again. But he knew he couldn't. Marissa was his friend and her life was shitty enough as it was. So if he just let it go he would lose his friend and just add another bad break to her list. He would have to try and talk to her before she left. He stood up and headed towards the door to block her from leaving. "Marissa. wait a second before you leave."  
  
Marissa ignored his request and tried to get around him to reach the door.  
  
"Please Marissa, just give me a minute. I don't want you to leave this upset with me. I want you to understand, I really was planning on telling you. I know this is a big shock. And I'm sorry I kept it from you. I just thought it would be best if we worked through everything else you had going on first before we tackled this as well." Ryan pleaded with her, trying to explain.  
  
Marissa stared at him long and hard for a moment. He looked miserable and for a moment her heart went out to him. She knew what he was going through. She knew how hard it was to be in love. But it was his own fault. He should have never kept this from her. If she had known, she never would have kissed him. Oh God, she had kissed him! She had kissed a gay guy. Suddenly she felt dirty. She tried to push by him again.  
  
"Marissa please!" Ryan begged. He needed her to at least understand a little bit before she left. Forgive him just a little. He'd have to play to her sensitive nature. He knew she was very angry at the moment, but he also knew that she was a romantic at heart and someone who valued her true friends. "I know you're pissed at me and you have every right to be, but please, I just lost my boyfriend tonight. I don't want to lose one of my best friends as well."  
  
Marissa cringed when he said his 'boyfriend'. It weirded her out so badly. But she could hear the sadness in Ryan's plea and knew he was telling her the truth. He hadn't meant to hurt her; he had been trying to spare her feelings. But he did hurt her and embarrassed the hell out of her as well. She took a deep breath. Maybe they'd be able to work this out. But not now. Not when the pain and the humiliation was still so fresh. "Let me go Ryan. We can't talk about this now. Let me go to Summer. We'll figure this out. later." And she tried to push past him one more time.  
  
This time Ryan let her go. He followed slowly behind her and stood unseen by a tree as she waited in the street for Summer to pick her up. After they drove away, he dragged himself slowly up to the main house, intent on talking with Seth.  
  
Mr. Cohen was standing outside the kitchen door when Ryan walked up. "Sorry Ryan, I can't let you in there."  
  
Ryan felt his jaw drop. "What?"  
  
"My son is fairly angry with you; there fore my wife is fairly angry with you. For your own safety, I can't let you in." Sandy explained.  
  
Ryan felt like his whole world was beginning to crumble around him. He stared up at Mr. Cohen with a hint of exasperation in his eyes. "Did Seth ask you to bar me from the house?"   
  
"I wouldn't use the word ask as much as I would use the word demanded." Sandy looked down at the blond, his feelings mixed. On one hand, if what Seth said was true, Ryan had been a bastard, bringing Marissa back to the pool house to make out when his boyfriend was only yards away. But on the other hand, as Sandy stared into the boy's blue eyes and saw the fierce hurt there. "Where's Marissa?"   
  
Ryan's shoulders slumped. "She had Summer pick her up. After she found out about Seth and I. well she." He dropped his head down and to the side; he obviously wasn't going to get to talk to Seth right now. And just talking about Marissa anymore would get him in deeper trouble. "I guess I'll go back to the pool house then."   
  
Sandy stood at the kitchen door for a moment and watched as Ryan headed back to the other end of the back yard. He was at a small loss at what to do. His son was upstairs in a rage over his "broken heart", venting his loss with his mother. But Ryan was heading off to be all-alone. What was the protocol here? Did he go join his wife and son in the verbal lynching they would be having over the "atrocity" Ryan had caused? Or did he go to Ryan, get Ryan's side of the story, and see if Ryan was all right?   
  
His eyes continued to follow the newest member of his family. He watched as the boy went into the pool house and then leave it again a minute later. Sandy saw Ryan slink over to the side of the small building where the wall was completely darkened by shadows. It wasn't until he saw the orange red glow of a cigarette butt peering out from the darkness about knee high that he realized that Ryan had sat against the wall and lit one up. And that was enough for Sandy. He made his way over to the boy and stood staring down at him. "I thought you had quit?"   
  
Ryan stared up at Mr. Cohen, feeling small and insignificant as the man stood over him in the shadows. He shrugged half-heartedly and blew out a puff of smoke. "I don't smoke habitually. Just when I need to. I actually haven't had one since the night you brought me here for the first time." He brought the cigarette to his lips again and took a long hard pull.   
  
"You shouldn't smoke at all." Sandy responded and despite still being in his work suit he slid down the side of the building and sat next to Ryan. Then he gestured for the youth to hand him over the cigarette.   
  
Ryan shot him one of those infamous side ways glances that conveyed so much. This time it was clearly saying that he wasn't welcoming the intrusion and would like to smoke his cigarette in peace. But, he begrudgingly handed it over to his new father.   
  
To Ryan's utter surprise Mr. Cohen didn't snuff it out. Instead he took his own long draw off of it and handed it back to Ryan. "Ahhh.." He exhaled. "It's been close to 17 years since I had one of those." He coughed roughly. "Feels good on the old lungs."   
  
Ryan stared mystified. Mr. Cohen always had a way of surprising him. he supposed that was where Seth had gotten the ability from. He shook the stale crumpled pack towards the man. There were still 3 left in it. "You want one?"   
  
Sandy stared down at the pack and then stared up at the house. Ryan could tell he was contemplating what his wife would say and or do if she knew he was smoking in their backyard with their teenage "son". He shrugged his shoulders and shook his head in a way that clearly showed he was thinking 'Screw it' and grabbed a cigarette from the pack. He stuffed the slightly bent white paper roll in his mouth and held it still while Ryan lit it for him. He took a puff and exhaled coughing once more. "Are these really stale? Or have I just forgotten what they taste like?"   
  
Ryan was just exhaling his own drag, when he looked down to stare at the crumpled pack. "Really stale. Like I said, I haven't smoked since that night. This is the same pack from then."   
  
Sandy nodded in understanding. "So you haven't needed one since then?"   
  
Ryan shook his head. "I only smoke when I'm really." He paused, wandering if spilling his guts to someone who may any second start screaming at him for hurting his son was really all that good an idea. But Sandy seemed to be listening compassionately. "Nervous. Only when I'm really nervous."   
  
"How about when the house burned down. or your mom." Sandy trailed off.   
  
A cloudy look passed over Ryan's eyes, but he just shrugged. "I was more scared than nervous with the whole house thing." His voice was barely more than a strained whisper. "And when my mom left me." His voice gave out and he couldn't finish.   
  
Sandy sighed and threw an arm around Ryan's shoulders. "I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought that up. Not after everything else that went on tonight."   
  
Ryan stiffened under the strong arm around him and fought accepting any kind of comfort before he knew whether or not Mr. Cohen was here to yell at him. "Mr. Cohen."   
  
"What?"   
  
"I didn't." Ryan stumbled slightly over his thoughts. "I didn't do what Seth is accusing me of doing."   
  
Sandy looked down at the boy. "So you weren't kissing Marissa on your bed in the pool house?"   
  
"No!"   
  
"No? Are you going to try and tell me that Seth is lying to us?" Sandy asked, his voice having dropped the fatherly tone it normally had and adopting a slightly angry, slightly sarcastic one.   
  
Moving the lit cigarette away from his leg so that he wouldn't burn himself with his shaking hands, Ryan fought to keep his eyes locked with Mr. Cohen's. "No, I'm not saying Seth is lying. I'm just saying that he didn't see what he thought he saw. He didn't see me cheating on him. Marissa kissed me. I didn't kiss her. I didn't want it, I didn't plan it. She just did it."   
  
Sandy studied him intently. "Why were you bringing her back to the pool house if you hadn't planned to. to kiss her? By the way. We may have forgotten to enforce this rule along with your curfew. But no girls alone with you in the pool house. At all. Ever. Comprende?"   
  
Ryan lowered his head finally to stare at his knees. "I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't. But you wanted me home early and I couldn't just bring her home. She was very drunk. And I knew her father wasn't home. I couldn't just leave her alone when she was like that."   
  
Sandy sighed deeply, pausing to take another drag off of his stale cigarette. "I thought you went to the movies. How did she get that drunk if you just went to the movies?"   
  
Ryan was still hanging his head in what Sandy could only guess was shame. "She brought stuff with her in her purse and poured it into the soda I bought her."   
  
Sandy closed his eyes and shook his head. "Well, Summer came and got her from here tonight. Why couldn't you leave her with Summer after the movie? Let her other "best friend" baby-sit for a while."   
  
"I've been afraid to leave her with Summer too much, unsupervised." Ryan said in a voice beginning to strain. He ashed his cigarette to give his hands something to do. He was still very apprehensive under Mr. Cohen's arm.   
  
Sandy's eyebrows came together to in surprise, forming one long black caterpillar across his forehead. "Has Summer not been handling this well? Is she not being a good friend to Marissa?"   
  
Ryan took another drag and shook his head, expelling the smoke. "No. no. she's actually really good about all this kinda stuff. It's just." He took another drag, buying time, afraid of what it might sound like when he finally got all of it out. "I haven't told Marissa about Seth and me yet. and being Summer knows. and expects me to have told Marissa by now. I'm just afraid Marissa will find out from Summer instead of me."   
  
Sandy could hear the extreme distress in Ryan's voice. "You haven't told her? But doesn't she like you? She must if she kissed you. Don't you think you might be giving her the wrong idea by spending all this time with her, taking her places, if you have no intention of being anything more than a friend to her?"   
  
Ryan nodded. "I wasn't leading her on, I swear." He hated how strained and pathetic he was beginning to sound. "I just didn't want to hurt her anymore than she already had been hurt and I knew this would hurt her."   
  
Sandy sighed again. "But finding out tonight the way she did hurt her more than it would have if you had told her immediately, didn't it?"   
  
Biting his lip, Ryan nodded yes.   
  
"Were you holding off on telling her because you still want to be with her?" Sandy asked slowly.   
  
Ryan shook his head no, still staring down at his hands as he put out his cigarette.   
  
Sandy wasn't convinced by that answer. "That's not very compelling Ryan. I thought you were serious about Seth. Is he right? Has this all been some kind of game? Were you just slaking your lust on him until Marissa was finally available?"   
  
Ryan finally brought his head up then to stare up at Mr. Cohen. "No! No!" He found he couldn't look at the disappointment and the accusations in the face staring back at him. He lowered his head again, his hands threading through his hair, holding it up.  
  
Sandy heard the desperation in Ryan's voice and was also fairly sure he saw tears in his eyes for the point two seconds their gazes had been locked. Maybe Ryan was telling the truth. Sandy wrapped his arm around the boy tighter, drawing him closer in.  
  
Ryan relaxed a little, giving up some of the rigid posture he had forced since Mr. Cohen had put his arm around him. "I love Seth. I really do. And as much as I didn't want to hurt Marissa, the last thing on earth I'd ever want to do is hurt Seth. I'm in love with him and I don't really know what I'm going to do now that I've lost him."  
  
*** The minute Seth had run back into the house, blindly slamming his way up to his bedroom, Kirsten immediately knew something had gone horribly wrong when he talked with Ryan. She didn't even knock on his door, letting herself in to make sure everything was all right with her son.  
  
Seth wasn't all right.  
  
Unless cursing a blue streak, punching walls, and throwing random objects was all right. Seth was obviously livid. His face was bright red and his hair was standing on end. He looked to the entire world like a boy gone crazy. Kirsten couldn't believe that it was her normally calm, good-natured son. She almost didn't want to know what had happened down in the pool house.  
  
"I wouldn't come in here right now Mom. I can't be held responsible for my actions." Seth declared as he paced around the room, destroying things in his wake.  
  
Kirsten took a hesitant step forward. "Aww, Seth, honey, what happened?"  
  
Seth turned his rage filled face towards his mother. "I'm not kidding mom! Don't come in here! Leave me alone!"  
  
But Kirsten knew Seth too well. This rage was not going to last long. She did not doubt that he was very angry at the moment. But as soon as he got over the initial fury, he was going to sink into misery and then he would need her. So she just stood there for a few minutes, letting him pace and ruin his possessions. She listened to him mutter the words 'Ryan', 'Marissa', 'cheater', 'scumbag', 'slut', and a bunch of words she knew Seth hadn't learned in her house.  
  
Just as his mother had predicted, Seth's frenzy slowly began to subside. Within a few minutes he was just standing there in the middle of the room, holding half of his copy of On The Road in one hand and the other half in the other. He glanced down at the ruined book, then around the room, and then finally at his mother as she hovered in the doorway. "Oh. Mom. Mom. I just broke up with Ryan. I told him I hated him and that it was over. And. Oh." He said these things as if he had only just realized exactly what he had done.  
  
Kirsten took a few steps further into the room, but Seth backed up a few himself when he saw her approaching. "Why did you break up with him Seth? What happened down there?"  
  
Seth was staring at his torn book again. Something triggered behind his eyes and he tossed both pieces to opposite corners of the room before sinking to the floor of his cluttered bedroom. He drew his knees up to his chest and wrapped his arms around them. He seemed oblivious to the fact that he was sitting on 2 CDs and half of an old Lego creation.  
  
Kirsten cleared a spot next to Seth and sat down with him. "Did you two fight again when you went down there? Were you unable to work out the argument when he returned from the movie with Marissa?"  
  
At the sound of Marissa's name Seth began to shake with grief and anger. Images of Marissa and Ryan clinging to each other, of their kiss rocketed through his mind, sending him reeling. He dropped his head to his knees, closing his eyes tight in hopes of blocking out the memory.  
  
Kirsten watched in slight shock as her son began to break down in front of her. She immediately moved closer to him and wrapped her arms around him. "Seth, what happened? What did Ryan do?" She asked repeating her past questions.  
  
Seth didn't lift his head up, but attempted to answer his mother anyway. "Ryan came home with Marissa. They were all over each other. And he kissed her. He didn't know I was there but I saw everything. I saw them kiss!"  
  
The muffled anguish coming from her son broke Kirsten's heart. She held him even tighter. "And that's why you broke up with him? Because you saw him kiss Marissa?"  
  
"What else could I do?" Seth's barely audible voice traveled from where his head was buried. "He was cheating on me Mom. he was cheating on me after he swore to me that he was over her."  
  
"Oh baby. I'm so sorry." Kirsten cooed, rubbing Seth's back, hoping to soothe him. "You must be devastated."  
  
A small part of Seth wanted to push away from his mother, tell her at his age he didn't need to be babied and that he'd be fine. But the truth was he was devastated and right now he wanted his mommy taking care of him like she used to. So he just cuddled up to her and let her comfort him.  
  
"I know you're upset right now honey, but it's not the end of the world." Kirsten spoke softly to her son. "Maybe it just wasn't meant to be with Ryan. He's your best friend, your brother almost; maybe asking for the two of you to be boyfriends as well was just too much. He's interested in Marissa, you like that Summer girl. Maybe it's all for the best. Now you can have a relationship with someone and you won't have to hide it."  
  
"But that's not what I want. I want Ryan. I don't want Summer or some other stupid girl. No one's ever made me feel the things he makes me feel. I've never felt this way about anyone before, not even Summer. I'm in love with him Mom. In love. This isn't some phase I'm passing through. I'm in love with Ryan; he's all I want in life." Seth spilled it all to his mother, laying it all out. At that point though, he felt the tears coming on and took a moment to choke them back. He was not going to cry over this, he wasn't. "He's my everything and he threw it away for Marissa. He swore it didn't matter as long as he had me. He swore he didn't need her. I was so blind. He played me so easily. I really believed that he loved me. The way he talked to me, kissed me, touched me. I could feel his love for me. How could I feel it if it wasn't really there? And if it was really there, how could he do this to me?"  
  
Kirsten took in all of Seth's speech, wondering if they were all rhetorical questions or if he really expected her to have the answers. But as he finished up, she could see him begin to cry silently and instead just held him. The two of them sat in the quiet, trying to deal with Seth's first broken heart.  
  
*** Summer had driven Marissa to her father's empty apartment and the two of them now sat in the living room. Well Summer sat, Marissa paced, walking the length of the small room back and forth and back and forth.  
  
"For the love of God Marissa sit down. You're making me dizzy." Summer finally spouted, annoyed with her friend's behavior.  
  
Marissa turned around to glare at the darker haired girl. She opened her mouth to say something in retort, but closed it quickly and sat down on one of the chairs.  
  
"Thank God." Summer muttered.  
  
Marissa continued to glare. "I was tired."  
  
"I can imagine. I think you just did five miles in your own fucking living room." Summer spat back. "Now how about you calm down a little and tell me what's wrong."  
  
"What's wrong? I thought that was pretty obvious. Maybe because you were told so long ago you've forgotten. But I just found out now and therefore the disgusting news is still ripe in my mind." Marissa was working herself into a dither again.  
  
Summer took a deep breath and sighed, closing her eyes and counting to ten. She was not going to scream at Marissa. She was not going to go medieval on her own best friend. "I'm still a little lost here Coop. What is this news you find so disgusting? Is it that chunky heals are coming back in style? Because I agree with you there, that is disgusting."  
  
"Don't fuck with me Summer, because right now, I'm totally not in the mood. You know exactly what disgusting news I'm talking about. Ryan and Seth. together!" The look on her face made it seem as though the words she had just said tasted rancid and she wanted to spit them out.  
  
Summer sat back and counted to ten once more before responding. And her stepmother said she'd never get this anger management thing down pat. "Sorry Coop, but I guess I just don't understand. What's disgusting about Seth and Ryan? I mean besides where Ryan comes from and Seth's appalling lack of fashion sense."  
  
The glare Marissa was sending Summer's way could only be described as deadly. "If you are trying to make a point in your obnoxious ice queen way, do it! Don't just flit around the subject, spit it out!"  
  
Summer sent a glare right back to Marissa and any one who could see it would agree that Summer's was a lot more effective at quelling its recipient. "Alright, I was trying to be friendly. I was trying to be nice. I was trying to go around this in a way that wouldn't make me sound like the bitch I'm known for being. But you have given me no other option. Ryan and Seth are together, as in a couple, as in boyfriends. As you seemed to have finally found out tonight. Now. I agree with you on one count and one count only. Ryan should have told you earlier. He had no right to keep it from you for this long. They've been together for almost a month, since right after Caleb's birthday party. And from what I've seen of the two of them together, I think it's great. They're adorable and they really seem to be in love. I support them one hundred percent."  
  
Marissa was looking at Summer in complete revulsion. "How can you say that? It's just so wrong, so unnatural! And. and."  
  
"And what Coop?" Summer asked calmly, fairly sure she knew what was coming next.  
  
"Ryan's supposed to like me." Marissa sounded heart broken and dejected all of the sudden. "He's supposed to be interested in me. What has he been doing this whole time if he is gay?"  
  
Summer's petite shoulders heaved another deep sigh. "I don't think Ryan's gay. He did like you; he liked you a lot. But that night you told him he didn't have a chance. You turned to Luke that night, so Ryan turned to someone else as well."  
  
"But to Seth?" Marissa was calming slightly.  
  
Summer gave a small warm smile as she remembered the two of them in Tijuana. "I don't think it was planned. I don't even think they had ever thought about it before. They just kind of stumbled across it that night, from what I've gathered. But I wasn't lying before. They really are great together Coop."  
  
Marissa seemed to be pondering it hard. "I still don't see how Ryan could do this to me."  
  
"He didn't do it specifically to hurt you Marissa. He fell in love. You can't blame someone for doing that, whether you had him lined up for your back up boyfriend or not. And yes, he should have told you sooner. But after everything you went through, I could see how he wouldn't want to add any other news. And it wasn't like he abandoned you all together. He's been with you every day. He's been a pretty great fucking friend to you Coop. Why don't you be a friend back to him and support what he and Seth have together?"  
  
Marissa looked like she was about to cry. "They don't have anything together anymore."  
  
Summer lowered her eyelids and stared at Marissa. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
Marissa was shivering slightly in her chair and there was definitely tears perched on her eyelashes. "Tonight. Ryan was supposed to be home early. So instead of coming here or to the pier like we normally do, he took me to the Cohen's. I was too drunk to be left alone anywhere." She said that last part with a hint of humility. "And as I was drunk, I might have been hanging on him a bit, and maybe I was flirting with him a little. Teasing him about where he lived and his stuff and all."  
  
"His stuff?" Summer was beginning to get a little lost in her friend's explanation.  
  
"Like, I'm always bragging to him about the things Daddy buys me. well used to buy me. And one time I told him I had the most comfortable bed ever. He just laughed at me until he tried it." She suddenly smiled softly. "Then one night he was over and we were laying on it, talking, and he fell asleep right in the middle of it. He didn't get home until 3 in the morning that night."  
  
Summer watched as one of the tears that had been sitting in Marissa's eyes traveled down her cheek, despite the smile on her face. "Ohh. Coop. it's gonna be okay girl. And I hate to ask, but that really didn't explain why they aren't together anymore."  
  
Marissa took a shallow breath and continued. "Well, tonight, when Ryan brought me to his place, I was joking about the beds again, and how his could not be as comfortable as mine. So when we went in, he lowered me down on to it and."  
  
Summer watched as Marissa's speech slowed to a stop. "And what Coop?"  
  
A few more tears traveled down Marissa's flawless cheeks. "And when he did, I pulled him down with me and kissed him."  
  
Summer cringed and frowned. "A polite friendly little kiss? Or a deep, 'I want to lick your tonsils' kiss?"  
  
"A deep one." Marissa admitted softly.  
  
"And that's when he told you about Seth I hope." But then Summer paused. "But that still doesn't explain why they aren't together anymore."  
  
Marissa locked her gaze with Summer's. "Seth was there. The whole time. We just didn't see him. He heard and saw everything."  
  
Summer gasped and brought her perfectly manicured hand to her perfectly painted mouth. "Oh my God. poor Seth." And she paused, not believing that those words had actually come out of her mouth. "What did he do? How'd he react?"  
  
Marissa was actually crying softly now. "He blew up at Ryan, screaming at him, calling him a cheater. He broke up with him too, accusing him of playing a game and saying that what they had must never have been real. He was really upset. Almost upset as Ryan was."  
  
Summer had the sudden desire to book her way over to the Cohen's to make sure that the two boys were all right. and then talk some sense into them both. Instead, she looked at her watch. "Leave a note for your dad; you're sleeping over my place. Tomorrow will be soon enough to go talk to Seth and Ryan."  
  
Marissa obeyed, scribbling a quick note to her father, before packing small overnight bag and following Summer back to her car. The two traveled quietly, Marissa contemplating what she had seen and heard tonight and Summer pondering what she could do to fix things between Ryan and Seth.  
  
*** Kirsten made her way to her bedroom after she had sat with Seth until he fell asleep. She didn't know what she could do to make him feel better, so she had just held him until the tears had stopped and then watched sadly as his pain drenched face crossed over into slumber.  
  
Sandy came in a few minutes after Kirsten, looking as weary and forlorn as she did. He had sat in silence with Ryan, until the boy, shaken and pale, had announced he needed sleep. It was after he watched him get safely back in the pool house and turn off the lights that he finally came back up to the house.  
  
The husband and wife looked at each other for a long moment. The first inklings of the long conversation that was to come written all over both of their faces. But neither talked. Instead they undressed, climbed into bed and each others arms. If Kirsten noticed the smell of smoke on Sandy, she didn't mention it. And if Sandy wondered how his son was, he didn't mention that either. Likes their boys, they were soon asleep. 


	6. Part 6

**_Finally Done :)_**  
Title: Love in Dispute, Part 6 of 6  
  
Author: Kb79  
  
Rating: Pg-13 for adult language and content  
  
Pairing:Ryan/Seth  
  
Disclaimer: They Belong to FOX, not me.  
  
Spoilers: Up to The Escape, though my versions of what happened in TJ differ a tad...   
  
Description: Just a continuation of before. And the author tries to bring closure to a story that was pretty much forgotten.  
  
Last 5 Parts  
  
Love In Dispute  
  
"Cohen." Summer sat down on the twin bed and shook the sleeping boy softly. "Cohen."  
  
Seth opened blood shot, watery eyes and looked up at the beautiful brunette perched next to him. "Summer?" He asked hoarsely, staring confused at his friend in the impossibly mini-shorts and tank top.  
  
"Hi Seth." Summer smiled sadly down at him. She couldn't decide if he looked or sounded worse.  
  
Seth started to sit up, straightening his tee shirt, and making sure the blanket was still up over his waist. "Hi..." He looked around. "What are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to see you, but you are on my top ten list of people I don't expect to see in my bedroom when I wake up in the morning."  
  
"Your mouth keeps running no matter what, doesn't it?" Summer questioned jokingly. "Even when you have a broken heart?"  
  
Seth's eyes narrowed then. "Where'd you get the idea I had a broken heart?" His voice dropped a few levels and he sounded uncharacteristically cold.  
  
Summer didn't take offense at Seth's tone. Between his eyes and blotchy face it was obvious he had a really bad night. "Well, when I picked up Marissa last night she told me the whole story about how you caught them kissing, so that was my first clue that you might be upset. But seeing you this morning, when you've so obviously spent most of the night in tears, I'm feeling pretty safe in my first assumption that you have a broken heart. Am I completely off the mark?"  
  
Seth knew that somewhere inside him there was manly pride that should be rebelling against everything Summer was accusing him of. But she was dead on. And she, above everyone else understood what he and Ryan had together, they had their parents support, but it was Summer who really _understood_ the two of them. Seth stared into Summer's face. "I broke up with him Summer. I had too. He was cheating on me with Marissa that whole time. He was lying to me. He kept telling me they were just friends, but I caught them last night. Can you blame me for having a broken heart?"  
  
"If that all was true I wouldn't be able to blame you. But Seth, it's not." Summer said slowly, shifting a little closer to him on the bed.  
  
"What do you mean it's not true?" Seth looked incredulously at her. "I saw them kiss! I was there the whole time!"  
  
Summer wrapped an arm around Seth's waist and gave him a squeeze. "Don't you go raising your voice at me! I wasn't the one kissing your boyfriend. You need to calm down, because you need to be rationale in order for you absorb what I'm going to say. Deep breath now." Summer waited until she felt Seth take a breath and only began again when she felt some of the tension escape from his body. "Ryan was not cheating on you last night and he has not been cheating on you these past couple of weeks. He has not been lying to you. This whole time he had been with Marissa it has been as friends. Last night was the first time anything past friends happened."  
  
"But last night still happened." Seth leaned into Summer, letting her put her arm around him further.  
  
"Yes it did. But did you let the two of them explain what was going on last night? Or did you just break up with Ryan and storm off?" Summer asked knowingly.  
  
"Broke up with Ryan and stormed off." Seth muttered.  
  
"Thought so." Summer shook her head. "Do you want to know what you would have heard if you had let the two of them explain themselves?"  
  
Seth nodded yes slowly.  
  
"Like I said, last night was the first time anything happened. And you didn't see what you thought you saw. Ryan was not cheating on you, because Ryan didn't kiss Marissa. Marissa kissed Ryan. You may not have noticed last night, but Marissa was quite drunk. And that's the reason she was all over him, being flirty and silly. Ryan was just taking care of her; it was nothing else. He didn't know she was going to kiss him and he sure as hell didn't want her too." Summer explained everything in a clear cut, no nonsense way. "Do you see now? Would you have broken up with him if you knew the whole story?"  
  
Seth was quiet for a few minutes, pondering everything Summer had said. Marissa had been drunk. He hadn't thought of that. That would explain why they had been all over each other. Poor Ryan probably had to practically carry her from place to place. He knew how sloppy Marissa could get sometimes. And was it really possible that Ryan hadn't been an active participant in that kiss? Could Marissa have really forced it on him? "But all the other times that they were alone and I wasn't there to see them, how do I know nothing was going on any of those times?"  
  
"Because I'm telling you nothing went on Seth. Ryan's in love with you; not Marissa. She's been complaining for weeks now that he hasn't so much as looked her in anyway but friendly or brotherly admiration. She told me all about last night and she tells me all about all the other nights. Ryan has not been cheating on you; he's not interested in her anymore. Don't you think I would have come to you with that kind of info?"  
  
"Then why didn't he tell her about the two of us?" Seth sounded torn.  
  
Summer heaved a sigh that shook them both on the bed. "That I can't tell you. I can only assume he didn't want to put any more shock on her shoulders so close to her getting out of hospital. It totally backfired though. Waiting caused more harm than good. Marissa is really messed up over all of this. Part of her is upset that the guy she likes had turned out to be in a relationship with another guy. And the other part of her is upset because she messed up your relationship."  
  
Seth gave his own sigh. "That's not her fault though. She didn't know. If she had known she would have never kissed Ryan."  
  
Summer nodded in agreement.  
  
"Is she all weirded out by the whole Ryan and I being together thing?"  
  
Summer gave a small shrug of the shoulders. "At first, when she was furious about finding out the way she did, she was saying she was disgusted by it. But I think that was just the shock talking. She's not the type to hate people just because of their sexual orientation. And she's still really upset with Ryan right now, but she knows he's hurting and she doesn't want that. I'm pretty sure that once she sees the two of you together, she'll see what I see and everything will be fine."  
  
"What you see?" Seth looked puzzled.  
  
Summer shifted sideways so that she could wrap both arms around Seth and give him a proper hug. "I'm hoping when she sees the two of you together, she'll see how perfect the two of you are as a couple. I'm hoping she'll see the obvious love you two have for one another, how much you mean to each other, and how good you are together. And I'm hoping, when she sees all of that, she'll realize that Ryan's heart now belongs to you, your heart belongs to him, and the best thing she can do is accept that fact, move on, and be the good friend to the two of you, that you two have always been to her."  
  
Seth was moved to tears by the time Summer was finished with her little speech. It was amazing how the girl that everyone viewed as shallow and petty could have such a remarkable grasp on human emotion. And the way she said all of that about Ryan and himself... Well it was causing Seth's broken heart to ache, because if she believed it too... If she could see all of that... Then why were they apart?  
  
Summer felt a few warm drops hit her bare shoulder. "Aww, Seth, come on. It's all going to work out."  
  
"Dude... I waited years to get you in my room Summer, and now that it finally happened, you're here to help save me save my relationship with Ryan. That isn't exactly how the fantasy used to go all those years." Seth said over Summer's shoulder, trying to change the mood of the conversation and make a joke as he sniffled back more tears.  
  
Summer gave a sad chuckle and just gave her friend a tighter squeeze. "You never stop Cohen and it never fails to amaze me." She started to pull away and gave him an awkward pat on the back. "Get up now. I sent Marissa over to talk to Ryan and I want to go make sure she hasn't killed him or anything. Shower and dress, than join us in the pool house."  
  
Seth's spirits began to raise a little as he listened to Summer give him orders. "You think Ryan will want to see me after what I did to him yesterday?"  
  
She was almost to the door. "I know he will. Now go get cleaned up and brush your teeth, you have horrible morning breath." Summer gave a smart smile before ducking out the door.  
  
Seth groaned as he listened to her head down the stairs. But he gathered all his strength and made his way towards the bathroom.  
  
Marissa stepped into the entrance of the Cohen's pool house and gazed for a long minute as the sun streamed down through the tall windows and bathed the handsome boy with golden light as he laid spread out on his stomach in bed. She took in his hard, tanned, compact frame, which while adorned only in a pair of boxers was a sight enough to send any woman's heart all a flutter. Marissa stared at the smooth tightness of his back and the heavy muscles in his thighs and felt a warm tingle start right below her stomach.  
  
'Great, the little fag still turns me on!' Marissa thought to herself as she turned right back around and exited the pool house. But then she froze, leaning against the outside wall. 'No! That's Ryan. Its just Ryan. He's your friend. You can't run from him just because he's in love with Seth. He still needs you to be his friend. You... you still need him to be your friend.'  
  
Marissa went back in the pool house and walked all the way in this time, sitting down on the bed that just last night she had kissed Ryan on. She shook her head to clear that distressing thought. Closer up, she studied Ryan's face and watched him sleep for a few minutes. Even in slumber he looked just as distraught as he had last night. He must have sensed someone was there, could tell someone was watching him, because he began to rouse from his deep sleep, stirring as his eyes began to flutter. Ryan caught a glance of the girl next to him and his baby blues shot open, panic filling them slightly.  
  
"Good morning Ryan." Marissa said softly, trying her hardest to sound friendly... or at least non-threatening.  
  
"Mariss... ah." Still a little panicked, staring up at the thin girl; Ryan's choked voice got stuck in his throat. He slowly, hesitantly, pulled himself up out of the vulnerable reclined position into a seated one, looking like someone trying not to make any sudden movements as they fled a wild animal attack.  
  
Marissa reached out and put her cool, light hand on top of Ryan's warm, hard one. "It's okay Ryan, I'm here to apologize."  
  
Ryan looked down at the perfectly manicured hand resting on his own rough one. And his first night with Seth, roughly a month ago, came flooding back to him. How could he have ever considered this to be what he wanted in life? After experiencing Seth's touch and feeling the truth and the love there; knowing that none of it was an act, that it was all real and pure... Well Ryan just couldn't even fathom why at one time Marissa's touch, which shell claimed to be caring, when cracked was nothing more than a show that lured you into a false sense of security; could have even been considered a candidate for what Ryan wanted in life.  
  
Marissa was needy and relied on others to keep her a float. And maybe Seth needed him and maybe he needed Seth, but they both could function on their own. Though, the truth was, they were just that much stronger together. Sure Ryan liked Marissa, but he _loved_ Seth. He felt Marissa squeeze his hand lightly and he was brought back to the matter at hand. He finally let his eyes meet her gaze. "You have nothing to apologize for."  
  
Marissa tightened her hand over Ryan's again. "Yes I do. I need to apologize for monopolizing all of your time lately, for expecting you to fix everything for me... I need to apologize for kissing you last night and effectively causing your breakup with Seth... And most of all I need to apologize for not giving you a chance to explain last night and speaking to you the way I did."  
  
"No. Apology. Necessary. I'm your friend, if you need me, I'll be there for you and I'll do whatever you need me to do. And as for the other stuff, if I had told you earlier, none of it would have happened." Ryan dropped his head downwards when he had said his piece.  
  
"I can't argue with you there Ryan. You really should have let me know about you and Seth way before yesterday." Marissa continued cautiously, as Ryan's voice sounded more dead than she could ever remember it sounding before. "But I can also understand how you wanted to wait until I felt better. It kinda bit us both in the backside. But last night I was in shock from the anger and the embarrassment and the confusion and the jealously. I completely overreacted and I really feel bad about calling you what I did. And you were right, you had just lost your boy friend, you didn't need your friends walking out on you as well. Can you forgive me Ryan? I love you and if I can't have you as a boyfriend, I refuse to lose you all together, let me be the friend I wasn't being last night. Please forgive me?"  
  
Ryan's chest got tight at Marissa's speech. It was exactly what he needed to hear... last night. Was it too late? "Can you forgive me for not telling you earlier?"  
  
"Of course Ryan." Marissa smiled softly, but warmly. "I won't lie, it may take me a little while to get used to the idea of you and Seth together, but you two have my support."  
  
Ryan took a moment to steady himself, closing his eyes and drawing a deep breath before looking back up at Marissa. "But we aren't together anymore Marissa. There's nothing to support. He left me..."  
  
Marissa scooted even closer to him then. Ryan's voice no longer sounded dead, the heartache and despair were clearer now. She reached over and held him against her the way he had often held her against himself. "Maybe it's time I tried to fix something for you."  
  
Summer let herself into the pool house and saw Ryan and Marissa embraced on the bed. She wondered for a moment if the wool had not only been pulled over on Seth's eyes, but hers as well. But then she noticed how they weren't so much embraced as Ryan was slumped against Marissa as he held on to him.  
  
"I take it apologies were made and accepted?" Summer questioned as she walked over to the pair.  
  
Both Marissa and Ryan turned towards Summer when they heard her speak. They separated and sat facing her on the bed. Ryan nodded yes.  
  
"Yeah, Ryan accepted my apology." Marissa answered softly.  
  
"And did you accept his?" Summer inquired again, giving them both an impatient look. "True, it was a little more pressing that you apologized for your behavior last night, but I hope Ryan apologized for not telling you."  
  
"He did Summer. And I accepted it. It's all worked out between the two of us." Marissa tried to assure her best friend.  
  
"Is it? Is it really?" Summer came all the way in and took a seat on one of the chairs in the pool house. "You've already talked about Ryan and Seth's relationship? You understand it? You've accepted that they're in love and you're okay with it? You're going to continue to be their friend?"  
  
Marissa squirmed a little under the bombardment of questions. "Well, I know they're... or they were... I guess I understand... I'm okay with... Of course I'll still be their friend!"  
  
"Well at least you're sure of that one thing." Summer added; sarcasm tingeing her tone.  
  
"Summer." There was a warning in Ryan's voice.  
  
"No, no Ryan. It's okay, she's right. It's one thing to say I'm okay with you and Seth, that I understand it all. But I guess maybe I really don't. I'm not going to give you trouble about it or anything, but Seth's been in love with Summer for years... and you and I... well I kinda thought we had something as well. I just don't understand how two seemingly straight guys can suddenly be in love with each other, when a month ago they were into girls." Marissa admitted, looking a little nervous and a little embarrassed. She shifted on the bed so that she could look at both Summer and Ryan.  
  
"Straight, gay, bi, at 16 years of age it's rarely set in stone." Summer interjected, leaning back in the lounge chair as she watched the other two.  
  
Marissa gave a frustrated little shrug. "I know, but that's a pretty general answer. I'm not interested in all teenagers questioning their sexuality, I want to understand what brought Ryan and Seth together, so that I can understand what they have together."  
  
Ryan looked up at Marissa and Summer and saw that they were both staring at him. He guessed they expected him to field this one. "It just happened one night, ya know?" There was no way he was giving exact details of the night they got together.  
  
"No, we don't" Summer pressured. Well, she did know a little more than that. Seth had given her some details of that night. How Ryan had been upset, how Seth had found out that Ryan was bi, and how sparks had flown like the fourth of July when the two of them finally touched.  
  
Ryan held back the desire to growl at the two of them to back off, that it was none of their business. But he knew Summer was just trying to help, she just wanted to make sure that Ryan and Marissa had everything out in the open so that they could still be friends. But she must not understand how hard this was. How was he supposed to explain out loud how he felt about Seth, how they two of them got together? They liked each other. They were together. Wasn't that enough? Why did girls always need the nit picky little details in order to understand? And to be brutally honest, they weren't together anymore; so what the fuck did it matter? "I don't talk about this kinda shit, okay?"  
  
"No, it's not okay..." Summer began.  
  
But Ryan cut her off. "Stop with the lectures, alright? We broke up! We aren't together anymore. What does it matter now how we got together? What we had? It's over!" And with his last outburst he closed his eyes and dropped his head between his shoulder blades.  
  
Summer didn't "continue the lecture" because at that moment she heard a stirring behind her and turned just in time to see a small section of skater sneaker before it disappeared behind the section of wall behind her. Seth had come down finally and had probably gotten intimidated when he heard Ryan yelling. Summer sighed. This was going to be harder than she had planned.  
  
Marissa had been at the perfect angle to see Seth sneak down from the main house and then hide before coming in. Ryan was too far to the right and with his eyes closed, missed him completely. She slid next to him and curled an arm around his lower back, gripping him to her softly, but firmly. "It hurts, doesn't it? Too talk about him? Don't bother answering, I know it does. Whether you want to admit it or not. And I bet you want him back, don't you? Though I bet you won't admit that either. Summer and I want to help get the two of you back together. But in order to do that, we are going to need your help. We're going to need to know a little about your relationship. So help us out Ryan, so we can help you out."  
  
Ryan opened his eyes and lowered his head back to the normal position. "How is telling you all of that going to help the two of us get back together?"  
  
Marissa looked over at Summer who gave a little nod with her head towards the wall. Marissa caught her meaning; she knew that Seth was outside as well. She turned back to Ryan. "Just trust us."  
  
Ryan weighed his options. They wanted him to spill his guts on a personal matter, something he just didn't do, ever. But the reward could be getting his Seth back. Which he knew deep down inside he'd do anything to achieve. He just hoped they knew better than to expect anything poetic or long winded from him. "How we got together really isn't that important. We're just close. And one night we were hanging out and we just got a step closer. There really isn't much more to it than that."  
  
Marissa gave him another little squeeze, knowing how difficult this was for him. "Alright. Is it just a physical thing? Or is it an emotional thing as well?"  
  
Ryan knew she was trying to be supportive. But he was feeling really prickly at the moment and just wished she'd get her bony body off of his. "It's both."  
  
Marissa was beginning to feel like she was pulling teeth. And the more one word answers Ryan gave, the more embarrassing awkward questions she had to ask. "So you two were... intimate?"  
  
Ryan actually groaned this time. This was beginning to feel like he was discussing this in front of his teachers or parents, that's how uncomfortable it was getting for him. "Yes!" He couldn't take it anymore. "We had sex! The night of Caleb's party? When you told me I was too late? That night I gave Seth his first blowjob and he jerked me off. We didn't actually fuck until Tijuana. Do you want details of that? Who the top and bottom were?"  
  
If Marissa wasn't more than aware that Ryan responded to discomfort with anger and violence; she would have been hurt by that. But she understood. "Yeah, details are good. But I don't need to know physical details. Tell me how it felt to be with Seth like that. Were you surprised? I mean all the sudden you were with your best friend in a whole new dynamic. I mean if all the sudden I was kissing and touching Summer, I'd be a little shocked."  
  
"Yeah, well you and Summer don't have what Seth and I had." Ryan said, calming.  
  
"Obviously not. At least I don't think so. What is it that the two of you have? What makes what you two have different than say what you and I have as friends?" Marissa loosened her grip on Ryan and moved a little to the side.  
  
Ryan gave another shrug. "I love him. I mean, I love you too, but I'm in love with him. He's... he's everything I've never had before."  
  
Neither Marissa nor Summer said anything when Ryan paused this time. They could see there was something bubbling inside of him and they were hoping he'd let the rest of it out on his own, without their continued prompting.  
  
Ryan looked at the two of them staring at him and knew that they were waiting for him to continue. He was getting tired of this. But he figured they weren't going to quit until they knew it all. He sighed gruffly. "Seth... well he... I don't trust people. I don't. I have trouble with that. You try living my life and not have trouble with it. I trust Seth. I know that nothing he ever does is with the intent to hurt me. Not even when he broke up with me last night. He didn't leave me because he knew it would hurt me, he did it because he thought I'd rather be with Marissa and he was setting me free. He was giving me the easy out. He was putting me in front of himself. Not what he wanted, not what would make him happy, but what he thought I wanted. I've never had someone do something like that for me. I don't know what you call it. Unconditional love or something; I don't know what it's called. Seth treats me better than I've ever been treated in my entire life. He really does care about me, there's never any alternate motive to whatever he does. When he kisses me or touches me, it's just because he loves me, nothing else. And his touch..."  
  
Marissa and Summer gazed in near rapture at the boy as he trailed off for a moment. His voice, which had started off rough and near monotone, as it usually was when ever he was upset, had gone soft and smooth. It had dropped a few levels as well, making him sound as though he was talking about something revered. Or like someone talking in a place of worship or a library. They had never seen Ryan like this before. It was almost beautiful. They could hear the love Ryan had for Seth. They could practically feel it.  
  
"His touch is really what drew me in to begin with." Ryan began again, staring off as he spoke, no longer focused on the girls, but not exactly focused on anything else either. "There's a spark when we touch. A reaction between the two of us. It just seems to scream that it's meant to be. Like our genetic make up or something knew that we were supposed to be together, even if our brains might never have thought of it. But when we touched that first time, it was like it all flew into place. Everything we were supposed to have together just clicked and we both knew that this was what we needed, wanted in life. It was perfect..."  
  
Marissa had tears in her eyes so thick she couldn't see. But Summer was beaming. She knew Ryan had it in him. She wished she could go over there and hug the shit out of him, but he was lost in his own world right now and she was a little scared to see what would happen if someone were to shock him out of it. Especially when he came to his senses and realized everything he had just said and in front of whom he had said it.  
  
"_Was_ perfect. Not anymore. Because I'm a fucking idiot and blew it. I didn't tell Marissa the truth and I didn't treat Seth the way he deserved to be treated. So I lost it all." Ryan's voice had gone from soft to sad.  
  
"Not lost Ry... just missing for a few hours." A fourth voice entered the conversation.  
  
Ryan looked up and saw Seth standing next to Summer. "Seth?"  
  
"Hi Ry."  
  
Marissa and Summer looked at each other and smiled. Marissa wiped at her damp cheeks with the back of her hand and nodded her head towards the door. But Summer shook her's no. She was staying until she was sure the two of them were back together and all right.  
  
"How much of that did you hear?" Ryan asked, a touch of worry in his voice, but hope on his face.  
  
"Everything from stop the lecture." Seth smiled, warmly down at Ryan. "Sometime later you'll have to teach me how you were able to give Summer an order and have her listen instead of tearing your head off."  
  
"You heard all of that?" Ryan questioned again, seeming not to believe his own ears.  
  
Seth nodded yes.  
  
"And?" Summer asked.  
  
"Summer!" Marissa exclaimed; getting up off the bed and rushing over to the other girl. "Forgive her, we're leaving now."  
  
"Are not! I'm not going anywhere until I'm sure these two get everything worked out!" Summer insisted, not budging from her seat.  
  
"They'll be fine. It'd obvious to anyone that Ryan's in love with Seth. Even a brain dead person could see it. And being Seth's a pretty smart guy, I'm sure he can see that. So I think they'll be fine." Marissa tried to assure. "And I'm going to guess Seth still loves Ryan, because he came down here after you talked to him this morning. Plus, after hearing what Ryan had to say, how could he not be in love with him?"  
  
"Well it's not that easy Coop. They can't just go on and pretend like this all never happened. Trust had to be built again. They need to make sure they can be the same as they were, or even if they want it to be like it was before. There's a lot of work to be done." Summer lectured to Marissa.  
  
Marissa sighed. "Can't they just skip that? Can't they just like kiss now or something?"  
  
Seth turned towards the two of them with an odd smirk on his face. "I thank you both for all your help, but Marissa's right. I think it's time for you to leave now. We're both going to be fine. We'll call you later and let you know all the seedy details."  
  
Marissa gave Summer a 'See, I was right' look and the two of them exited, Marissa dragging Summer behind her.  
  
When they were gone Seth turned to Ryan. "Can you forgive me for not giving you a chance to explain yourself last night?"  
  
Ryan was still staring up at Seth in a bit of awe. He nodded yes slowly.  
  
Seth narrowed his eyes a little. "Are you sure? I mean I completely jumped to conclusions _and_ outed you in front Marissa _and_ broke up with you. You can forgive me for all of that?"  
  
Ryan nodded yes again. "Maybe you didn't hear everything I said. I love you Seth. I'm in love with you. If you can forgive me for everything with Marissa, I can definitely forgive you for last night."  
  
Seth smiled huge and walked right to Ryan, standing directly in front of him. "Good! In that case, I suggest we take Marissa's advice and kiss or something." And he bent down with the intent of attaching his mouth to Ryan's.  
  
But Ryan put out a hand out and placed it on Seth chest, stopping his actions. "I however agree with Summer. I think we still have a bunch of things to work out. We can't just pretend this all never happened. We've done a lot of things out of order or backwards in this relationship, I think we should do this right. We can't just jump right back into having sex and everything. We've got to work back up to that stuff."  
  
Seth looked a little confused. "What, you want to like start all over again?"  
  
Ryan gave a shrug. "Yeah, I guess so."  
  
Seth paused to think for a moment. "Alright. But if we're going to do this the right way this time, I think you should take me out on a date."  
  
Ryan, who was starting to recover from the shock, narrowed his eyes at Seth. "A date?"  
  
Seth held his ground. "Yes, a date, like normal couples do. Movie, dinner, something like that."  
  
"You really want this?" Ryan looked really apprehensive.  
  
Seth nodded.  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes. "Be ready at 8. I'll pick you up at the main house."  
  
Seth eyes glowed and he bounced a little on the balls of his feet. "Ooo! What are we doing?"  
  
"You'll see." Ryan answered flatly.  
  
"A surprise? I love surprises!"  
  
"I know."  
  
"Do I need to dress up?"  
  
"Look nice."  
  
Seth was nearly giddy with excitement as he bounded up from his crouched position in front of Ryan. He was looking ready to bounce around the room when a thought hit him so hard it was nearly visible. He turned back towards Ryan quickly. "Are we, are we back together?"  
  
Ryan looked seriously back at him. "Do you want to be?"  
  
Seth nodded yes vigorously. "Of course. Do I, do I need to ask you again, ya know, to uhm, be my boyfriend?"  
  
A small sparkle shown in Ryan's blue eyes. "Can I ask this time?"  
  
Seth gave a mock sigh. "Yeah sure, I guess you can be the man this time. I'll be the girl."  
  
Ryan stood up and gave him a small smack on the side of the head. "How many times do I have to keep telling you there are no girls involved in this relationship?"  
  
Seth pouted. "Not the question I was expecting."  
  
Ryan rolled his eyes again playfully. But then he grabbed Seth's chin and pulled him in close. He gave him the smallest, softest kiss he could dare give, knowing anything more would have him throwing Seth onto the bed and just screwing the whole starting over thing to shreds. He looked Seth right in the eye as he broke away. "Seth, will you be my boyfriend again?"  
  
A few hours later a showered, shaved, nicely dressed Ryan stood nervously in the Cohen's kitchen waiting for Seth to come downstairs. If the kid didn't hurry up soon, he was going to revoke the 'there's no girls in this relationship' comment. Sandy hung out in the kitchen, nearly beaming, every once in a while stating how he knew the two of them would work it out. Kirsten had given him a short confusing apology that he had just smiled and nodded at, before she gave him a big hug and ran off to find the camera. Ryan felt really awkward standing here, more awkward than he had ever felt standing in the Cohen's kitchen. He contributed it to the fact that he was in a nice pair of khaki slacks and a button down shirt, clothes Kirsten had bought him but that he had never planned to wear until his plan for the date seemed to require them. He wanted for Seth and he to be able to talk. And he knew that everything and anything could distract Seth. And that included his normal wardrobe. He knew this because Seth had once told him he didn't have a single outfit that didn't make him want to jump him. Ryan assumed it was because most of his things were sort of form fitting. And he didn't want that tonight, so the baggy slacks and loose fitting oxford fit the bill. Even if he felt odd in them. He was also feeling a little weird clutching the large basket that Kirsten had lent him for the evening.  
  
Ryan had thought all day about what kind of date he and Seth should go one. He didn't want to do the movies, because he was hoping to talk and that wasn't the place for it. Dinner sounded good, but once again, having a personal conversation in any of the local restaurants could be dangerous. So he decided to take Seth on a picnic. He had spent an hour or so scouring the beach, looking for the perfect spot. And after he had found it he had gone into town to the snooty high-class deli and stocked up on a whole bunch of Seth's favorite things for dinner. So here he now stood, clutching a picnic basket, ready to walk Seth out to the private spot he had found, and dressed like a complete and utter geek.  
  
Seth finally came downstairs and Ryan's heart seemed to find it's way into his throat. His boyfriend suddenly looked years older in a pair of gray slacks that actually fit him well for once instead of being overly baggy and a lightweight form fitting black v-neck sweater. Ryan's palms suddenly went sweaty and he barely had the voice to complain alongside with Seth as Kirsten forced them into a few pictures before they left.  
  
But leave they did and were soon walking barefoot along the beach.  
  
"We're going on a picnic?" Seth asked, eying the basket.  
  
"Yup." Ryan answered as he led them both to the private area between two large dunes he had noticed earlier during the day.  
  
"Kinda minty, don't you think?" Seth teased, helping Ryan spread out the blanket over the sand.  
  
Instead of answering, Ryan started to unpack the basket. When they were settled on the blanket, side-by-side, he passed Seth a drink and gave him a small, nervous smile. "You look really nice tonight Seth."  
  
Seth gave a chuckle. "Thanks. I wish I could say the same for you, but well... Sorry Ryan, you can pull off wife beaters and short sleeve button down like no one I've ever met, but you look completely out of place in Dockers and an oxford."  
  
Ryan looked down at his horrible outfit. "Your mom liked it."  
  
Seth laughed again. "She would."  
  
Ryan laughed a little too, before passing around some of the food.  
  
They were on desert before conversation started to get past light, frivolous things like school and soccer practice. Ryan was picking at a chocolate covered strawberry and gazing into Seth's face when he started in on something a little more serious. "I just want to apologize again for everything that happened with Marissa. I shouldn't have neglected you so much and I should have told her about us. I swear it was just because I didn't want to upset her, not because I was embarrassed of what we have."  
  
Seth put down his plate and reached out for Ryan. He latched onto the hand not holding the strawberry. "I know. I shouldn't have flipped out last night. I'm sorry I didn't give you a chance to explain yourself. But enough with the apologies. We've done the whole forgiveness thing. You don't need to apologize anymore. I kinda have to agree with Marissa. After hearing what you said today, it would be kind of impossible not to forgive you and be head over heels in love with you."  
  
A slight blush flushed Ryan's face as he squeezed Seth hand back. "I still can't believe you heard all of that. Hell, I can barely believe I said all of it."  
  
Seth grew very serious as he pulled the two of them closer. "I loved it. Hearing what you had to say made me wonder how I ever could have doubted how you felt about me. But now that I have heard it, no matter what happens between the two of us, I'll never doubt it again."  
  
Ryan stared down at where his hand was joined with Seth's and froze for a moment. Then he chucked the strawberry over his shoulder and advanced on Seth. He guided him down onto the part of the blanket that wasn't covered in food and quickly attacked the other boy's mouth with his own.  
  
Overjoyed, Seth quickly wrapped his arms around Ryan and returned the kiss with as much enthusiasm as it had been started. They stayed like that kissing and caressing for a few long minutes before Seth broke for air and asked; "What happened to taking our time, starting all over?"  
  
Ryan stared deep into Seth's face before breaking into a big grin. "We'll start all over tomorrow." And he dove back into the kiss. And the rest is history.  
  
The End.  
  
This was going to end in sex. But as I really wasn't excited about finishing this story and have kind of fell off the Seth/Ryan Love Train... no sex. Sorry. At least I brought some closure. I hate to be one of those writers who never finishes a story. Though I am in other fandoms so... eh. I realize a bunch of the trust shit and starting over again crap mimics what went on last night's episode, but I swear I had it written before I watched it.  
  
Blatant stealing of certain parts of a scene involving a Ferris wheel, Ryan, and a different skinny love interest. Also blatant stealing and butchering of certain lines from the best scene on TV ever involving the best couple on TV ever, Willow & Tara. I apologize to any fanatical BtVS fans who for some reason might end up reading this and beg that they do not lynch me.


End file.
